Temporal Lobe Epilepsy

Hello, I was wondering if anyone can help with any advice or let me know if any of their symptoms are similar to mine as I am struggling at the moment. I have suffered from mental health problems all my life. I sustained prolonged chronic (mainly psychological but some physical and sexual) abuse from the ages of 4-18 by my step dad which my Mum did nothing to stop and now denies all knowledge of. I am a 33 year old female with a 13 year old son. I live in England. I am in a stable marriage. Despite what happened to me as a child I managed to obtain a job in a solicitors at the age of 17 and work my way up from opening post to being a legal executive (doing the same job as a solicitor but not qualified). I have now worked there 16 years. I have always struggled all my life and felt different to everyone else. I first tried to kill myself when I was 11 but this was all brushed under the carpet. Over the years I have had psychiatric hospital admissions but always managed to pull through and continue with life. Mainly for my son. I've been given different diagnosis's from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder and most recently PTSD or a possible dissociative disorder. With each episode though I have never seemed to have recovered the same and continued to deteriorate. I have now been off work sick for over 12 months and seem to be getting worse rather than better. I came off all medication (with the approval of a Psychatrist) whilst in hospital as I was having paradoxical reactions to medication. One of the medications I was taking was lamotrogine which I had been taking for 6 years at 200mg. Lamotrogine is the only medication that i've taken that i've not had any kind of reaction to. I stopped taking lamotrogine around 9 months ago. Some of the symptoms I currently have are depersonalisation and derealisation which are constant. Everything just seems so odd like the world is made of lego and constantly moving. I feel ill. I get flashbacks of things that happened to me in my childhood which is debilitating. I never feel like I am grounded but it's substantially worse when having flashbacks. I feel terrified at times. There were two days whilst I was in hospital where I felt I had found out the meaning of life, it wasn't like mania but suddenly everything I had always wanted to know made sense and I felt at total peace for the first time ever. This only lasted for 2 days and then it just went as suddenly as it came. I can't concentrate or focus (just typing this is taking me a significant amount of time as I have to keep stopping). I find it hard to speak to people and follow conversations as I never feel there. I find it so hard and tiring just speaking to people as I feel like I have to be constantly checking myself so no one notices if i'm acting strange. I get de ja vu a few times every day. Sometimes it actually feels like I can see the future. I've lived in my house for 11 years yet I feel like i'm a stranger here and like it's like I know I live her but it's like the first time I'm visiting. I can't tolerate loud noises or lights. I've always made myself exercise but I can't tolerate all the noise at the gym. I have always had some jerks of body movements which do get worse when i'm stressed but always just put this down to some kind of stress related reaction. I don't know if it makes sense but it seems to be more my chest that jerks and sometimes my arms but it's always feel like a release of pressure. I'm also chronically exhausted. I saw my Psychiatrist a few weeks ago as everything I have been trying to do hasn't made me feel in any way better and she now wants to investigate if I have temporal lobe epilepsy (she did say it was unlikely but wanted to investigate to rule it out). I've always pushed myself to live a full life no matter how bad things have been but it's like i've run out of steam and there is nothing left to push myself with no matter how much I want to or how hard I try. I've now had a CT scan, am awaiting blood test and may be referred for an EEG and to see a Neurologist depending on the results. Please can anyone tell me if this does sound anything like temporal lobe epilepsy or anything they recognise. If it is can I just expect this to continue to get worse and is it just something I have to live with? Is it likely i'll regain enough functioning to be able to return to my job which is quite high pressured? Is there anything I can do to help myself? When i've been explaining my symptoms for the past 12 months to various medical (psychiatric) professionals in hospital basically everyone has just looked at me like i'm talking another language and i've even been told it's just bizarre. It is only this psychiatrist I have seen that has wanted to investigate TLE. I've never thought of it before as i've always just been treated for psychiatric problems Thank you in anticipation of any replies!