Need advice, live rural no neurlogists, new dx, do I have to move?

My son was thought to have very high functioning autism for years. He never exactly fit the mold but the plans we made at school seemed to work well and he was very successful academically. Even though he still had some lingering speech issues and odd emotional responses , I thought with a little extra time, he could find something he could do for a career and be independent. Just as I thought I could finally breathe and everything was going to be ok, my son had gotten straight A's in very different high school classes (and a few college classes) on his own with no support, he was about to get his DL in 3 days , he told he thought he was about to die. This is something he would never say. he said was having these weird rushes and was losing his vision and he was scared. I took he to 3 doctors , one said it was nerves, and the other 2 thought maybe he had EDS/OI (I have this) and he should be tested. The next day he got very little sleep due to a school performance that was at 6am and after his shower he had his first seizure. I took him to the ER and they did a CTSCAN and blood work and said he looked fine and could go. I asked for a neurologist and to my shock my city of over 100k does not have a neurologist at the hospital. I was told it was probably just a 1 time thing and to follow up with his PCP. His PCP had a 3 month waiting list so I searched for neurologist and found since he was not 18 there were only 2 in the state, 250-300 miles each way. I got on a wait list which was about 9 months. Two weeks later my son again was in the shower and I heard a loud noise. He got out of the shower (he didn't seem wet?) and walked into a wall. He was out of it for about 10 minutes but still awake but very slow to talk and didn't know what happened. The ER again said all we do is a CTSCAN and blood work, and he son didn't want another CTSCAN. The PCP could not see him but ordered an MRI and an EEG. The only EEG that could be done was a 45 minute one by a sleep clinic that was run by a family practice doctor. The test would be sent out of state to be read and no follow up would be given. The next month my son would text me from school saying he was dizzy or losing his sight or just didn't remember what happened. I ended up sitting in the hallway at the school. During the next school break we decided to go out of state and out of pocket and find a neurologist. Even within a 300 mile radius it was near impossible. All we found was a neurologist that did not work much with epilepsy and didn't deal with children (my son was 17 by this time) who agreed to see us once. Again we were shocked, so was this poor neurologist when he open the file he had been sent with my son's MRI and EEG that he did have epilepsy and a significant birth defect in 3 lobes of his brain (which explain the incorrect autism dx). So we got 30 minutes with a neurologist to find out the dx and what to do which is obviously not enough time. It was over a 800 mile trip and we left scared and alone. In the next months I tried to find neighbors, other kids, anyone with epilepsy in our area to find out what they do. Most of the younger girls and women do not take any meds or see any docs because they want to have kids and the majority of men are on disability. Most people just see a PCP for meds and have taken the same meds for years and haven't seen a neurologist for 5-10 years. We tried till my son turned 18 to get any help but there just isn't anything local (local meaning 200 miles or so). Our insurance premiums were $1600 and we getting basically no help and only 1 medication was covered out of the 8 we tried. We decided to make the journey to the Mayo clinic , we had to go twice. So the Mayo results after a week of the 24 hour monitoring and other tests before and after, he has right temporal lobe seizures at night, occtipcal lobe seizures during the day, and he also does have EDS and severe OI (so confusing for my non-talkative son, when he says Im dizzy is it OI or a seizure warning?). His tests do come back with some developmental delays do to the 3 large grey matter hetertopia .They gave us a few new meds to try but warned us that he will have more seizures even on meds and surgery was not an option. The Mayo clinic tried to search for a neurologist to help us and it turned out they were the closest place or going to the LA area. I just do not think my husband and I can drive 800+ miles to the neurologist every month for a year and then every 3 months if he stabilizes. With the healthcare costs and travel costs and time off of work, we will not be able to afford basic living. It is making me sad, but I think we have to move. My husband owns a small business so it means people losing jobs, and my husband was the only provider in our parts of our rural area of his repair service so he has told his clients that they need to find someone new and they are upset and worried. I have one other child who is gifted and she is so upset to leave her academic state teams, because it is unlikely she will be able to find another team in another state to take her on. So now where to move? We currently live in southern Utah. We were basically here for my husband job and I felt it was a good accepting place to raise my kids (safe schools, involved parents). My husband and I have lived in several east coast/new England states and love them, but it sure hard to move cross country. We could sell our house easily, but neither myself or my son are allowed to fly so it means driving cross country and my husband finding a job (since he is a experined skilled repair/tradesman and has a college degree, he has had many offers so I'm not too worried about the job but about insurance and hours), finding a temporary rental while we look to buy and then returning to pack up and starting my youngest in new school and finding doctors all in 60 days? So do most people who live rural with new dx epilepsy move? especially if it is medication resistant and no surgery will help? Where are good states not only for doctors but for my son in the future(like buses, programs like voc rehab or to help him get some college or training or work). When he left high school he had high honors, in normal or college level classes yet a 18 on the ACT so the IEP director gave me a disability application and said that is all our area offers. There has to be something more for my child. Through all his illness and issues he never missed a day of school, never late for a class, he was so determined so I just can't fill out some disability forms. It is also hard to imagine I have to have my husband close the business he loves so much and see so many people hurt. We are leaving to drive the country next week and try and find our new home. I know it sounds crazy but I don't know what else to do? Is moving really going to help if the Mayo clinic says they don't think any med will help fully and surgery is out? My son has about 8-10 quick vision losses or 3-5 blackouts every hour and usually 1-2 seizures a week at night on any med combination we tried. I don't want regrets either way, I don't want to stay and have my son miss a better future but I don't want to leave and have him not get any better and have my husband working a job he doesn't like and my daughter upset that she had to leave her academic comeptetions she has been working 8 year on and is her passion.