12-year-old newly diagnosed with absence seizures

knowing what seizures he has is a good start but there is an adjustment period that people go through, give yourself time and permission to cope in whatever way that helps. parents and children have different adjustments. this is not the end of everything although some people do have very hard time dealing with grief from losing the world they thought they had. therapy is an option if he does have to deal with major changes or depression about this diagnosis. you might want to check what counseling resources are available (for you and your son separately) in advance as navigating that is difficult in the midst of a crisis.how do I know? I've experienced certain lifelong health diagnosis of a child (epilepsy came later and isn't necessarily lifelong). I've experienced ends of everything for a child (it's their death btw). I've experienced looking for psychiatric/psychological care in the midst of extreme crisis (not the child who died).  there are people who have been through what you are going through so it's hard but you can get help. do not be afraid to get help from many places.

Thank you.  I mean, truly, thank you.  It's clear that you've certainly been through your own nightmares when it comes to epilepsy.  I'm also deeply sorry about the loss of your child.  I wish I had something brilliant to say about that, but honestly that's the only thing I can think of to say.  I feel very "me me me" here.  I don't mean to be that way.  I'm just to soon in the process for much give.  So I'm just asking for help, even though I know so many people here are experiencing their own extremely difficult challenges and emotions.  Now I have to tell my son.  He knows he was being tested for possible absence seizures.  We've kind of filled him in on what they are (not lots of details, but just the generality).  But it just occurred to me that I never used the term epilepsy.  My husband is at work, and he's going to skip out on his meetings to meet me at the doctor's appointment.  Hopefully traffic won't stop him.  It's a horrible commute.I have 10 minutes from the time we get home until the time we leave for our appointment.  It's a crappy amount of time to talk to him, but I don't want to spring it on him in the car or when we get to the doctor.  I owe it to him to be up front.  And my  11-year old is here.  I don't want to tell him and then leave him home (he can stay alone for short times... good neighborhood and neighbors), but I don't want him freaking out and then leave him.  I could take him with us but not sure if he should be or will be allowed into our appointment.  If he goes to pieces there it will freak my oldest out more.  I could take him and then he waits in the waiting room?Already such complications. 

of course you can't give to others right now, that's perfectly normal - you are normal, your reaction is normal, major health diagnoses are not something one can wrap one's head around in short (or predetermined) time frames. self care is important tho, being a bit selfish* is important because you are a major support for your family. *that's really having good boundaries and rarely being selfish.typical absence usually responds to treatment so keep outlook reasonable, be present in the now and note to your son that the best you can do is deal together with things when they come up (you can read and obsess separately, believe me I've done that plenty). doctors always hope that a child may grow out of these - because frankly, they know there's a good chance of that and the other outcomes can't be known for a while and doesn't happen to most people.get a list of your son's triggers from the eeg - light flickering, etc.. get some idea what other common triggers are to be aware of with respect to school. if he doesn't have a 504 plan at school, that is something to initiate. most kids (and siblings) want to know if they can't play video games around the child with seizures (seriously, isn't common with every person but photosensitivity isn't odd with certain generalized epilepsies).