Med Question

Hi, I'm the mom of an 8 yr old boy with dev. delay and autism and epilepsy. He had his first known grand mal at 4 and has not had another one since. He waas put on trileptal first and it stopped the seizures but he became extremely aggressive and violent. COme to find out that med can cause that in boys after a year af behavior therapy thinking it was autism related. He can walk and talk but very limited communication. He is now on lamictal and was just increased to 125 mg twice a day. He does this thing where his arms shake like he is cold or excited today the school called to say his hands were swollen. I have a call in to the neurologist waiting for call back. My question is does anyone know if the older tried and true meds like dilatin or tegretol etc. are better for young children. He hasn't had a major seizure in over a year maybe some small partial ones its hard to tell with him what is seizure and what is behavior. The neuro is scheduling a 48 hr EEG but until then I want him as comfortable as possible with as little side effects as possible. Any one with knowledge/experience with this please let me know your experience or thoughts. Thanks frustrated mom.