What is going on?

I've had seizures since...8th grade or so, I'm 21 now. I've always been pretty touchy about discussing it with anyone, even my neurologists and the only ones who ever know are my roomates and a couple of girlfriends I've had. My seizures have always been early in the morning when I was still asleep, but recently I started wondering if it's not just regular grand mal seizures like I've always thought. I usually go a year or two seizure-free and then a couple of months where I have a seizure or two and during those months I usually have a few times during the day where I can't concentrate. I can't understand or read any words, not even words that I say. It usually doesn't last very long and is pretty mild, every once in a while it's alot more powerful and lasts longer, and those are the ones that terrify me because the couple of times that I've had a seizure when I was awake they started with that. I always assumed it was an aura but I'm starting to wonder if it could be partial seizures that sometimes turn into generalized? I took seizure medicine for a few years but since it never made any difference I quit years ago, and I still go years without and then have a few months like I'm having now. Anyone have any thoughts on what I actually have?