Living with epilepsy

I was diagnosed with epilepsy 15yrs ago after having 2 grand mal seizures. Luckily i have been seizure free with the help of seizure meds. This week at my neurologist, i asked him if i'd always be on carbatrol and he said since my eeg still shows seizure activity then yes i will always be on it. On one hand i am very grateful but sad at the same time. I guess part me kindof hoped without realizing it that i thought it would go away. I feel the past 10yrs i haven't done much. I have a good relationship, family, been at the same job the past 8yrs but other than that what do i have or i should say what have i done. I feel like ive played it safe and havent done anything worthy. If im going to be epileptic for the rest of my life is this what my life will be. I dont know if this makes sense but its something going through my mind