hiding my fear

Hi to all, For the past two weeks I have been keeping my fear that something else is wrong with me. My ankles and feet have been swelling on me and turning a redish and bluish color. They have been achy now for several days which was not there before. I have a Dr. that has a problem with giving me any type of medication for my headaches and muscle spaims, so I really do not feel as though I can trust her judgement regarding my new issue with my ankles and feet. High blood pressure runs in my family along with heart problems and lung problems. I do not smoke but my boyfriend does, I have cut back on my salt intake, also tried elevating my legs at least three times a day, and I have even tried wearing looeser fitting socks with not much luck. I have even tried increasing my fluid intake without much improovement. I have never weighed this much unless I was pregnant and think this may be part of the problem. I weigh 127 lbs., compared too 115 lbs three years ago, I also think that with the lack of exercise and increase of weight I may be getting higher blood pressure then my body is used too but I am still getting scared. I have a hard time sharing my fear with my family and have had to hide things I should not because of the treatment I get in return or the way they say things after they find out. Do you ever feel normal in your life again? Or do you just learn to accept things one day at a time? Because I am really having a hard time with not having that normal, like everyone else feeling. I do not know how to accept the fact that I may never be the way I was three years ago, that things are different for me. Does it ever get any easier? I had to share my feelings with someone somewhere that I felt comfertable with,and it does help some getting it off my chest so to speak... Thank you everyone for listening.... Joyce