Coping with boyfriends epilepsy

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Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. My long term boyfriend has epilepsy, he was diagnosed about 2 years ago and we have been together for 6 years, recently his epilepsy had gotten worse and he was having seizures quite regularly. His are stress related, but on top of this he can get stressed and angry quite easily (I don't know if this is down to his medication or the epilepsy itself), when he has a seizure normally he will pass out, and when he comes round from this he can go into a fit which is horrible to witness. The trouble I am having is coping with this, it has taken a toll on me lately and I find myself worrying every time I am with him that he will have one, and he knows this which I feel is straining our relationship, I am scared to talk about it with him because in the past when I have tried it has caused him to pass out due to stress. I find myself getting frustrated a lot with him when this happens even though it is not his fault, because it means we can't talk about anything that might be a difficult topic, and I am trying my best to be there for him but more often than not I am getting frustrated and angry which I feel extremely guilty about because he can't help it. I'm just looking for anyone's advice or anyone with similar experiences?

Comments

OK I'm the man in our

Submitted by johnlp on Fri, 2017-01-13 - 10:02

OK I'm the man in our relationship I'm tell you my side on this I'm also the one with epilepsy. I was the provided in our marriage she worked but I made 3 times as much. I lost my job due to epilepsy tried numerous meds. no luck. We did have to change my meds due to my temper and just made me feel horrible.For me I felt and still feel guilty due to my wife works I sit at home she does everything for me makes me feel extremely guilty and worthless. Numerous times I have tried to be a ass just to get her to leave because I feel she would be better off without me.Some of the meds do affect how you act sometimes.love my wife very much but the guilty feeling is a hard thing to keep on yours shoulders all the time.I'm not taking up for him just telling how I feel.I had to talk to someone about my feeling has helped some.My wife back off of me some and let me do a few things rather than saying I will do that don't do that either I do that to helped me some. Good luck wish you the best epilepsy is very hard to accept and live with

I was also dealing with this

Submitted by BryceBraxton on Fri, 2017-03-03 - 01:59

I was also dealing with this same situation..

My boyfriend and I have been

Submitted by shesarhia on Sat, 2017-03-18 - 09:09

My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now. When we first started dating he would occasionally have grand mal seizures in his sleep from a traumatic brain injury from 2012. We moved in with each other a little under two years ago and the seizures have gotten worse and worse over time. Due to high demand, finding a neurologist is hard on it's own and finding one that understands how this is effecting our lives is even harder, but that's a different story. We've been struggling for two years to get his meds right- and unfortunately, most meds that treat seizures are bi polar and depression meds with high dosages- they treat seizures. We have found that these meds mess with his moods, extreme depression, extreme mood swings and "feeling like a zombie". He sometimes checks out and is disoriented and because of this sometimes I don't even realize he is having petit mal seizures until we are fighting and angry and then it clicks that he is, in a sense, "checking out" and that's where the confusion stems from, and in turn we start fighting.I wanted to give you our backstory so you can understand my situation before I give you my opinion on how to deal with it. One of the first things I had to accept is that this is not his fault, nor mine. This is something that we have been dealt and we have to deal with it- and while I have a choice, because I could leave, this is not a choice for me. We keep a good sense of humor about it all and it helps tremendously. I find that guilt is a big part of dealing with epilepsy simply because he feels he is a burden, he isn't. I can't express enough how much being able to talk about his epilepsy helps in dealing with it. We have had fights in the past and he has had a seizure because of the stress, this is also not your fault and I'm sure your boyfriend knows that. Couples fight, it's healthy and it's normal. I have found that we fight less now, simply because we constantly talk about what is bothering us, sometimes on a daily basis. It's important that both of you know what the other is feeling to avoid these types of stressful fights. If you find that you struggle with this, seek a couples therapist, you are not weak if you need help, it means you care enough to try and fix the problem. You may feel like you are not a normal couple because you have to deal with seizures and not every couple does, but I have found that this is our normal, and I'm okay with it, because at least I get to be with him. He is stronger than he will ever know, and so are you.Every time we end up in the ER, he apologizes for me having to deal with this, because as anyone on here know- seizures are some of the scariest things you will see a loved one go through. I take care of him when he is having an emergency, but he takes care of me later when the water has settled and he's able to. It's all about balance. If you guys had a strong relationship before epilepsy, then you can get through this. I hope this helps.