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I was just diagnosed and i'm a little scared

Topic: 

Hey,
My name is Mary, i am 20 years old and I have just been diagnosed with epilepsy. I am in college and I live alone, i've always been someone who enjoys being on my own. I love hiking, running and swimming.
When i had my firs seizure, i didn't really tell anyone. My mom has epilepsy so i knew what it likely was, and i honestly just didn't want to worry anybody. So I just went on with my day (witch wasn't great because i was so incredibly tired).
Even though after that day my life pretty much went back to normal, i found myself a little more hesitant to go on long hikes into the woods alone, and i don't really want to go swimming anymore without someone there who knows me.
I hate that, i don't like being dependant on people on a day to day basis. I was wondering if that is really how it is? I figured maybe it would get better when i go to a doctor, so i did. I got diagnosed and we are now trying to find medication that will work.
I just don't want to stop my life and my hobby's, or have a chaperone everywhere i go. Apart from annoying, thats also not very practical. So I was wondering if anyone had any practical tips on how to deal with this? And also if anyone else got a bit anxious when they were first diagnosed?
Thank you for reading my rambling on about this :)
lots of love,
Mary

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Mary, You could say I am

Mary, You could say I am fortunate that I've had epilepsy all my life and so I've grown up with scary events.  As a child I had mild panic when the seizures hit.  But around eight years old I got annoyed by the attention and worry from my mother.  I didn't want that and so like you I tried to hide my seizures.  It didn't work, but the effort in trying to relax and make them less noticeable helped me to cope with the events better.  Was I scared when I first diagnosed?  I think I first got the "epilepsy" diagnosis when I was in my early teens.  I don't think I was scared of the diagnosis, but I was horrified thinking that this is a chronic illness and I would probably have to take pills every day for the rest of my life.  That's a long time and a depressing thought for a teenager.  I've been active outside since childhood and I've been fortunate to have parents who let me do so without their supervision.  Maybe I've been blessed with parents who are not so overprotective, but I think my ongoing, active and adventurous lifestyle helped to condition others to not let seizures get in our way or leave us afraid.  Keep on doing what you love; others may wish to supervise you at first, but eventually everyone will accept the risks.  I don't have the generalized seizures anymore, but I still have the focal seizures with and without awareness.  I also use a chainsaw once in a while, walk alone on our 15-acre wooded property, sing in choir, and do woodwork projects.  Don't let the seizures stop you.Mike

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You're not "dependent" on

You're not "dependent" on anybody. You just need to find a friend and join some hiking clubs. I found, in college, (graduated 2 years ago) my roommates became my best friends. They're the people I still talk to now that I graduated. 

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