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Should seizures and side effects stop me from dating altogether?

Mon, 10/02/2017 - 17:04
Hi everyone, I'm looking for some rather strange dating advice. I'm a 20 year old woman, and part of a wonderful religious community that encourages early marriage--and I am all for it! Many of my close friends are already married, and TWO of my best friends have gotten engaged in the past 24 hours alone! I'm not dating right now, as I had brain surgery at 19, and though I've recovered well I still suffer many side effects of my sz meds. I often don't feel well in the evening, and it has made me far less independent. Until I feel well enough to take care of myself I know I can't give to someone else, so I'm not dating now. (In my community we date for marriage, and it is normal to go out only 7 or 8 times before deciding to get engaged...Our divorce rates are equal or lower than typical, so it works for us, but I'm not recommending for everyone! ;) The point is, I'm becoming terribly lonely, and wish I could get married as well. Not only am I single, I am VERY single--I have not been on a single date. My seizures are mostly under control, and I am functioning well--I teach in a private school, and I am about to begin graduate school. But I still haven't begun dating because I don't feel entirely like myself, and I am prone to suddenly not feeling well. I'm anxious about not feeling well during a date (or having a seizure!), as well as how I'm supposed to explain my health problems during such a short dating period without scaring off a guy, and good gosh the STIGMA--barely anyone even knows I have any health issues! Mostly I'm afraid my health will prevent me from being the kind of partner I want to be in a marriage. So how do I decide when to start dating? I want to be married, but I don't feel like I have the energy to date or be a bride??? Wish I had a partner though... Advice (or heck even just sympathy) much appreciated!

Comments

I'd say focus on your health

Submitted by MCGALAXY38 on Wed, 2017-11-15 - 13:30
I'd say focus on your health and getting yourself medically stable before worrying about bringing someone else into your life. Don't worry so much about what society expects of you instead do what is best for you. I know you feel lonely now but know that one day it will all fall into place.

I met my bf right I got

Submitted by Islandgirls1108 on Sat, 2017-12-30 - 20:43
I met my bf right I got diagnosed with epilepsy and I was stable. A year into our relationship he started cheating which stressed me out to the point I had sz after sz and ended up hospitalized 3 times in one yr! It’s hard to find a man that might understand sz and so I don’t know what to tell you. I would just focus on yourself first. Dating and Marriage isn’t all that! Being healthy and happy and loving yourself should be #1!!! If you are lonely then maybe adopt a pet! My pets are awesome and my dog has predicted my seizures before! Pets are true blessings from God! Good luck to you!!! 

Don’t worry about what

Submitted by Erinking1129 on Mon, 2018-01-01 - 23:31
Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, as hard as it may be. It may be a cultural norm to get married earlier, for you, but you should focus on being healthy too. Also, when the time comes, if you disclose your health issues to a man and it scares him off then he isn’t the right man. I think you’ll know when the time is right and if you’re having doubts and unsure, then wait. 

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