Chat and Community Forums Closed

Due to the popularity of social media, we have seen decreasing engagement on our forums and chat. Please know we want to keep talking to you about epilepsy, seizures, and what you need. We want to stay connected with you.

Community Forum

Thinking, Speaking & Memory

** warning this is a long post mostly rambling**

I was diagnosed with Epilepsy about 12 years ago (mostly complex partial seizures from temporal lobe) . I have been on different medications and had been largely stable for most of the time. About a year after having my son (around the time I stopped breastfeeding) I started having partials seizures again. I was having 6-10 a day and although they didn't affect my awareness (I still knew what was happening around me at the time) I just didn't feel like I recovered between them. I couldn't think, couldn't talk properly - developed a stutter, kept losing words, my memory was completely shot. I couldn't focus on anything either, for instance I've left the house on multiple occasions and just left the doors wide open and completely forgot to close and lock them because I got distracted thinking something else.

I managed to get back to some sort of normality after that and upping medication (lamictal) but I don't think I ever really got back to 'me' if that makes sense. I've been struggling for some time after that at work. I'm a project manager and it requires managing lots of details, being organised, communicating effectively etc all things I definitely struggle with now. It's got to the point now that it causes me so much stress that it actually seems to trigger seizures too. I've started having them again recently and have started zebinix only 200mg to start but somehow my thinking & seizures are worse now, I feel vacant constantly, although this might come across as arrogant I used to be intelligent and quick witted and now I feel stupid and slow which is making me depressed now too.

If it wasn't for financial reasons I would leave my job & do something less taxing, before they fire me for incompetence. I'm taking sick leave currently but I can't do that indefinitely.

I'm trying to take positive steps, I know anxiety makes things worse so I'm trying CBT & being healthy, trying to exercise (even though I have absolutely no energy). But honestly I just feel like my brain is fried, I can't see me ever being the person I used to be.

I don't know how to cope with this, mostly around work, I'm not exaggerating to say I just can't do it anymore. My brain will literally not engage enough for me to be productive & because of that the embarrassment I feel just crushes me. I know that my workplace have had enough of me too, there are only so many excuses I can make for missing deadlines and doing things wrong. They've been as accomodating as possible, letting me work from home etc but it doesn't help with the fact that my brain just doesn't seem to work!

More than anything I just needed to get this out, my family & friends mean well, telling me that I'm not stupid and I'm still good at what I do but that doesn't really help, if anything it makes it worse.

Has anyone else dealt with this, did you ever get back to being able to think clearly - did you have to change careers?? Thank you if you read this far.

Comments

Hi, Thank you for posting, it

Hi, Thank you for posting, it sounds like you've been through a lot. Being diagnosed with epilepsy can be upsetting and make you feel isolated and alone. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone, and we are here to help support you. If you ever need to speak with someone please contact our Epilepsy and Seizures 24/7 Helpline, where trained information specialists are available to answer your questions, offer help, hope, support,guidance, and access to national and local resources. 1-800-332-1000, or contactus@efa.org. epilepsy.com/helpline  We know that living with epilepsy is more than seizures, it also means learning how to handle the way epilepsy affects your life including your physical well-being, social and emotional health. https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/managing-your-epilepsyYou may want to consider participating in treatment, seizure and lifestyle management programs, which can help people learn skills to better manage their epilepsy and its effects on daily life: https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/managing-your-epilepsy/what-managing-epil... Additionally, you may want to consider keeping a journal or diary. My Seizure Diary:https://www.epilepsy.com/living-epilepsy/epilepsy-foundation-my-seizure-... a great tool for identifying & tracking seizures, setting reminders,managing medications & side effects, recording medical history, moods, behaviors, triggers, and other therapies or personal experiences, that may affect seizures and wellness, which can be shared with your healthcare team.We are glad to hear that you’re taking some steps to help improve your stress, anxiety and depression, like exercising and trying CBT. Cognitive problems - problems with thinking, remembering,paying attention or concentrating, finding the right words, or other symptoms –can be related to a number of issues, including side effects of some seizure medicines. To learn more about the effects of epilepsy and seizure medicines on cognition,visit:  https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/challenges-epilepsy It may be helpful to see a vocational rehabilitation counselor to help you navigate your career. https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/diagnosis/you-and-your-healthcare-team/vo... In many communities the local Epilepsy Foundation offers programs and resources to help connect you with vocational counselor, or visit: https://www.epilepsy.com/living-epilepsy/independent-living/employment/f..., it’s important that you’re continuing to follow-up with your healthcare team to address these challenges and concerns you may have and if you experience changes in seizures types/frequency, moods,behaviors, sides effects & symptoms.This will help to determine what individual treatment plan is best for you.

Hello! I m having this

Hello! I m having this problem for more than 2 ys.. i don t know exactly how are your symtoms but mine are like this: i m.always having aura before, then i m moving my lips , i m having small jerkings and i can.see, hear everything arround, i just can t talk. My seizures are arround 1-2 minutes. Somentimes i m having one/day sometimes 4/day. Per total are arround 5/month. Most of the people are not aware that i m having a seizure. My boyfriend is the only one that knows exactly me when i m.having a seizure. And i m also aware i.m.having a seizure cause i m writing on my phone date and time when i m.having them. But sometimes i m thinking i m lucky because there are Not grand mall seizures.. i m taking Levetiracetam 1000mg twice a day and carbamazepine 300 mg twice a day.. there are not very good cause i m.still having them. But not so many side effects.. what medication do u take?

Our Mission

The mission of the Epilepsy Foundation is to lead the fight to overcome the challenges of living with epilepsy and to accelerate therapies to stop seizures, find cures, and save lives.

 
24/7 helpline
P