Partial Complex So many questions

Hi, Im hoping to share and maybe get some feedback. As im sure many of you can relate, I don’t have anyone that really understands what I go through or how I feel and no one can really answer my questions. Glad I could find something like this. Here goes, I am 37 now my seizure history started when my parents realized something was up when I was about 9 or 10, we think it started prior to. I was diagnosed with absent seizures at that time. I grew out of them later in teen life and did great, went off meds and moved on with life. I was still however, a “space cadette”, I just considered it day dreams. I knew the difference. When I was about 28, one Monday morning, a holiday that the rest of the world had off, except for me, I was getting ready for work, suddenly I was in the kitchen, just standing there. I didn’t know how I got there, how long I had been standing there or why I was there. I went about my morning and finished getting ready but then it happened again, I was in my bedroom. Still, I figured I was tired and kept going. The place I worked, I had been there at this point for almost 3 years and been taking the same route, so I got in the car and then not sure what happened, next thing I know, I am at the dunks around the corner from my work and the person in the window is saying “hello, hello, can I help you”. Now I am freaking out, how the hell did I get here? I had to have driven on auto piolet? I got my coffee and drove the two minutes to work. When I got to my desk the girl that sits across from me started chatting with me about what I can assume was her weekend but her words sounded like Charlie Browns mom. No one was home. It took a bit for me to come out of it. Finally I got the nerve to go to my supervisor and she called my best friend, also my roommate and had her come get me. It took three months before I could get in to see a neurologist, I had them run multiple test, I wanted proof that this was epilepsy. In my heart, I knew, I could tell but I still wanted proof that it was back. This time its Partial Complex. Within the time I waited, things like this happened again, what bothered me the most, no one ever saw this happen and to this day, no one ever has. I have no idea if I have automatisims like lip smacking or anything like that. My best friend did see me in a seizure but this one was different, I was working at a dealership at the time as a service advisor, very stressful. I had a customer was standing in front of me asking for an oil change and I guess I kept saying “huh”, luckily my co-worker knew about my epilepsy and said I was acting strange, seemed delayed and wanted to know if it was my epilepsy. The only thing I could do was nod my head, I couldn’t form words except when my supervisor came over, I got out, I need to go home. My go to cure all for my seizures has always been to go to sleep and reset so I wanted to go to bed. They wouldn’t let me leave, the called an ambulance, the only other thing I could get out was my best friends phone number. Other then that, at the hospital they kept asking questions, normal things I should know the answers to like date of birth, couldn’t answer. My best friend got there and saw me like this. I never had this problem before, this was when I was 34, I guess this was a breakthrough seizure but it was so different then my typical. It scared her, it scared me. I slept solid in the hospital for the next 36 hours and honestly, don’t remember much expect of the small pieces I told you and crying, so much crying. I haven’t had one like that since but a couple of my regulars that only last for 30-60 seconds. The other night while cooking, found myself in front of the fridge, door open, just standing there, not sure why or how long but just there. I find it hard to talk to people about it, I almost feel that my seizures are so trivial because they are so small in comparison to the one I had in 2016 or what others might experience but they leave me exhausted. The other hard part about talking about my small ones is, lets face it, even though its much more serious, doesn’t everyone walk into a room and forget why they went there from time to time. My boyfriend jokes that he must have epilepsy too because he does it all the time. He knows that whats happening to me is much more serious but we laugh. It took me until the next day to tell him about my seizure the other night. So I guess my question, does anyone else feel like they have a hard time talking about it? Like they don’t want to make a big deal? Also, it freaks me out a bit that no one has seen me have one and I don’t know what happens, is anyone else on this boat? I feel alone, like I am battling this all by myself. Also, the auras, I don’t think I have any. Sometimes I will feel a bit off the day of but nothing right before it happens. How do people cope with no warning? Also, I have staring spells still, sometimes I don’t know if im just daydreaming or if it’s a small seizure. They don’t show up on eegs but from what I have read on here, a lot of things don’t show up on eegs. I mean, these staring spells, they kind of feel good, I can pull myself out of them but I almost don’t want to, they are euphoric and most of the time I am in thought. I guess that’s all for now. If you have taken the time to read my ramblings, thank you! Jennifer