Mothers with Epilepsy

As a 21 year old pregnant epileptic, there's a lot of things you already worry about going into this crazy thing called adulthood. As a mother with general idiopathic epilepsy, this is not only one of my biggest fears but also a big obstacle to overcome. I spend most of my nights crying and worrying about what am I possibly going to do. How am I supposed to take care of a newborn when my seizure trigger is sleep deprivation? I ask a lot of questions every single day & only pray that this medication will work for me this time. I would never be able to forgive myself if I hurt my son because of a seizure. I've now had 3 seizures in a 2 day period after going almost 6 months without one, and I'm really starting to let it get under my skin. Will I hurt my son? Will he be deformed because of my seizures? Will he have seizures? So many questions go thru my head on a daily basis & it's really starting to throw me into a massive depression. I have no family record whatsoever of epilepsy in my family, therefore I feel as if my feelings aren't taken seriously by my family because they don't know the absolute hell that goes thru my head every minute of every hour of every day. I had a lot of problems as a child & they've developed into lifelong problems unfortunately. I'm so terrified of hurting my son or him having epilepsy, that I really can't sleep at night anymore. It seems like I have a mental breakdown almost every single day because I'm too worried about things that I won't know the answer to until after he's here. I'm just basically looking for a support group/ mother's that have epilepsy so I can talk to them about what it's like and what I can do to make it the easiest on my child. I'm just wanting some reassuring, strong advice from mother's with epilepsy. As a young mother, I'm fresh & new to the mommy world in general and it's even harder as a mom with epilepsy. Just ultimately a woman looking for answers & some reassuring words.