"Is it Possible?"

I am here to tell a story, this is my personal, vulerable, and honest endeavour with my radical teacher epilepsy. But to also propose a question, "Is it Possible?". To tell my full story would take entirely too much room so, Im going to hit the key points. I've been on this path for 6 years, epilepsy took away my ideals about what my life was going to be, and gave me a path that I could have never concieved of. I was a much differnet person back then, foolish really, but as drastic as this change was, I am forever grateful. My first grand mal was really the opening of my mind and perception, of this and other realities. Collages of colors and sophisticated shapes I've never observed before. The amounts of fear and confusion was overwhelming yes, but somehow peace and grace as well. When the electrical storm in my brain got wild enough it took me out of my body. I distinctly remember my body falling down, and I fell up out of it. Up into nothingness, as far as one could be. I had no body, but I was conscious, aware, and it was the most blissful experience to date. Timeless, mindless, but full. Then I felt an uneasiness, like being smashed into a funnel, and returned to my unconscious body that lay on the kitchen floor. Now that experience has fueled me to discover something more, to develop a relationship with this energy. All it is is energy, our energy, there is nothing external attacking us. So my question, is it possible? Is it possible to utilize the energy that is epilepsy for my good? To use it as a guide and teacher? To accept my circumstances, but to also accept that I am more powerful than my circumstances, and they are here to provide. Provide what exactly? I think everyone has their owm answer for that. This is a very individualized experience, but if we stand together, and realize that we have strength as a community, we could change the tide of thought concerning epilepsy, and mental illness. We have the other side of the key, our stories, experiences, no matter how wild, are precious, and when we can develop the strength to be seen as equals with the medical world. As much respect we as give them for their years of dedication of study and a Phd, they should give us the same if not more, for our lifetime of dedication, and our experiential insight of this amazing, unpredictable, terrifying energy. This is a time for us to open up, and explore our power, you all are warriors of exploration and evolution. No matter how weird, wild, or messed up it all seems, know you are not broken, your energy is amazing, truly, you all are incredible. I am not here to fight epilepsy, I am here to learn to utilize it, is it possible?