Epilepsy and Relationships

I've lived with my boyfriend for 2 years now. The beginning of this year, he had 4 awful seizures in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. Grand mal, they are hereditary from one member of his family. He was put on the generic medication for Keppra and was seizure free for 8 months. We were happy again, things were back to normal. My anxiety faded completely. Then, because he was seizure free and only has 1 kidney, they took him off medication to preserve his kidney. Now, a month after no meds, he has had 2 seizures, in his sleep, over a span of 48 hours. I am 100 pounds soaking wet and he is about 160, all muscle. We live alone and I cant handle his seizures. He has almost broken my arm, then recently almost snapped my leg from us cuddling in his sleep. But if I keep my distance, how am I to tell he's seizing if I fall asleep? It's a panic attack every time he sleeps. I stay up all night, go to college full time, and I work 35 hours a week. I cant do this.. He won't go to the hospital after a seizure because he has no idea what's going on. Be willing go see a doctor because he doesn't want medication because of his kidney. I cant help him if he won't help himself at all. I know he's not but it's like he's fine with this as long as I'm there to take care of him. I watch him sleep, for every breath he takes, a second goes by and I watch the time slowly tick away until the early morning when he goes to work. Then I sleep for a couple hours. Right now, the minutes are hours. Everyone I look at the clock, it hasn't moved. I'm counting his breathes, checking his pulse, waking him up when he shakes or his breathing slows. I cant do this.. What do I do? I cant handle it. Any of it. I'm in constant panic attacks unless he's at work surrounded by people, or if he's with family who keep an eye on him which isn't often. I don't want to live together anymore.. Am I awful? Is this reasonable? Given he won't take medical help seriously? How can I help someone who won't help themselves? If I stay on this course, will I fail in college and in my career because of the crippling anxiety and limited sleep? I feel selfish, helpless, sad, and terrified all at once.. Is this temporary? I cant do this..