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Boyfriend has epilepsy

Wed, 05/30/2018 - 12:46
Hi everyone. I'm here seeking some advice on how to help my boyfriend deal with epilepsy. He was diagnosed when he was about 8, he is now 25. The thing is that ever since he was diagnosed he kind of gave up. He has been very open to me about how he feels and this is what he has shared with me: He has given up because the doctor told him there is nothing to do about it, there is no cure, and so he has to live with this condition for the rest of his life. Therefore, he has this attitude towards it that leads him to forget his meds, to not take care of himself, to follow a non-healthy diet... He has been very sincere to me about how awful it is not to have control over his body, he is also ashamed to tell friends and coworkers he has epilepsy. He feels like it makes him less valuable and less worthy. He also misses Doctors appointments, he used to go to the doctor back where he used to live, but ever since he moved to another city he has no doctor and he refuses to go because "there is nothing the doctor can do for him." I've found this website to be very helpful, but I feel like I need to do more. I am seeking advice on how to help him effectively and how to inspire him to live a fulfilled life despite having epilepsy. What arguments can I use to get him to the doctor? PS: His seizures are not that often, I haven't witnessed one, but I know it really affects him both physically and emotionally whenever they do happen.

Comments

You might want to have him

Submitted by just_joe on Fri, 2018-06-01 - 11:56
You might want to have him research the famous people who have or had epilepsy. Use bing and bring up List of people with epilepsy.. You need to find out what kind of doctor told him there was nothing to do with a person with epilepsy. There have been many advances in all kinds of fields and the medical field is one of them. My cousin had it and her seizures ere stopped. They were weaning her off medication and she had A seizure. They backed the dosage up to the point she was before that seizure. She didn't have another seizure. They have come out with new medications with fewer side effects that stop seizures. It takes time and finding the right medication in order to control seizures. Kind of like finding the right medication to control high blood pressure.I have been living a full life and do not let epilepsy control me. My friends know about it. The people I worked with knew and did many other people. I can have a seizure today while in a group of people and discussing something with them and they would know nothing about the seizure.The doctor he needs to be seeing is a neurologist that specializes in epilepsy. They know more about medication and other procedures then his primary care doctor.

Hello! I'm in the same boat

Submitted by Seven on Fri, 2018-06-01 - 12:06
Hello! I'm in the same boat as your boyfriend. Doctors have no answers and no pills seems to work. It feels awful. I go to doctors' visits and I take medication but I keep breaking through them. I'm constantly changing "cocktails" and it feels useless. I can't drive because the episodes are too frequent and everyone treats me like I'm fragile. They keep asking if I'm ok. It's frustrating. But if I didn't go to the doctor or try new medication the seizures would be way worse. It feels hopeless, yes. It's permanent, yeah. But if you don't do anything about it, it's going to be massively intrusive, more than it already is. You don't have to come to terms with it, I haven't. But be smart about it. If you want to have a successful career, if you want to continue driving, have kids, hobbies, do whatever you want whenever you wish, you have to keep up with it. Not just for you, but to everyone around you. He may be the one with epilepsy, but he's not the only one living with it. You're worried, his friends must be worried, etc. His seizures may be infrequent, but they're not gone. If he plays the "woe is me" card, shut him down. Make him look at his future if he continues to treat himself poorly. Tell him it's not just about him anymore. He's hurting other people with his negligence. Don't guilt him, just remind him of the important things in his life. My boyfriend and best friend did that when I went on a self pity bender. Changed everything. Don't give up on him, and don't let him give up on himself. He's in a bad place that's hard to get out of, but it's not the end. There's more to life than sh*t diagnoses and medication. Don't go to the doctor for him. Drag him along no matter how much he hates it. Kicking and screaming, my mom always says lol. Therapy is there, help groups, even just venting feels good. Writing, drawing, and music help too. Pick up a hobby. A distraction from the terrible-ness of epilepsy. But it's severely important not to enable his pity. Understand it, be patient, but it's ok to get mad. You got this!

It’s certainly can be a

Submitted by Calico Jack on Wed, 2018-06-06 - 20:00
It’s certainly can be a difficult situation and I can empathize..  Bluntly, there really isn’t too much you can do except to be supportive and push him to see a neurologist.  If my wife sees I forgot to take my pills (accidental only) she just asks me if I took my meds.  It’s hard for folks in any situation to get off the “pity train” when they’ve been on it for a while.  But he’s got a choice to make: move forward and tackle his aspirations or lament, underestimate himself, and fear what everone around him must be thinking.  The harsh reality is out there nobody is going to care one way or the other he has epilepsy. So long as he’s had the conversation with his manager he has epilepsy, alles gut!And if he’s bent on being depressed about his epilepsy, he should put this into a little perspective here... what’s the absolute WORST thing that can happen to him having epilepsy? Regardless of what it is.  The worst.  Then kick this around: in the the early ADs, Spartans considered epileptics unworthy and weak, found the nearest cliff and pitched them over the edge to do a 1-1/2 (unwanted) gainer to the bottom (Judges: 8 for style, 0 for the landing).  In medieval times, we were surely “posessed by the devil”, exorcised by the Catholic church, when that didn’t work, locked away for life in an attempt to punish the beast (or just “humanely” executed).  In the 1600s we were burned at the stake for it and turned into a “Bob-b-Que”.  During the “Inquisition”... well, use your imagination of any number of atrocities we were subjected to.  At one time in history, some morons actually thought seizures were caused by excessive masterbation so lopped a thing off a guy he would most certainly miss () - that’s my personal favorite historical “treatment”.  As late as the 1950s we were blasted with enough electricity between the ears to light up a small city even Tesla would have envied.  Or we were tossed in a sanatarium for life, forever doomed to playing checkers with “Frederick the Magnificant” on enough tranquilizers to make an elephant say: “easy there doc”.  Doesn’t seem like it now, but him having epilepsy isn’t remotely as big a deal as he may think it is.  Just give him a kiss and a squinch and tell him to get off his butt and see a neurologist. He may just like the next one!

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