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Anyone experience fear as their aura?

I have been diagnosed with epilepsy for 12 years, but I am experiencing something that could be a focal seizure or aura, however it deviates from the pattern of my normal seizures and auras.

It is defined by an intense fear that I experience. A fear unlike any other fear I have experienced in my life. It happens in the night, on waking, it feels like there is something in control of me, that I am not in control of my actions, even though I am and nothing bad has ever happened. It is quite hard to describe because it is incredibly abstract and subjective, and there is nothing ordinary that I can relate it to. For a long time I had no explanation for what this experience could be, and then I started to consider that it could be psychological, but it has only just occurred to me that it may also be a seizure.

I am interested to know what other people's fear based auras/focal seizures feel like. It would be useful to know if what I am experiencing is in any way similar to other people's experiences. Or to find some sort of context in which to relate my experience to.

Thanks

Comments

I call mine a panic attack

I call mine a panic attack but intense fear describes it too.    It starts in the center of my chest.  It is like the moments before the adrenaline starts to pump in a real situation and it stays there.  I recognize it and it hovers there.  It feels like all is about to, or has, ended.  Time stops and it feels like what I imagine hell would feel like.  It’s a hell of a reminder that I ain’t here forever.  I see it as an aura but could be a seizure in itself.  I breathe through it and talk myself down.  No idea if any of that shortens it but if feels like it does.  These tend to come in groups.  Not all at once but maybe one every other day.  I then figure out something deep down that got to me that I think started it when it rises to the surface clear as day.  Not sure if that recognition helps or not.I then find myself with headache and exhausted.  Emotions -fear- is a major trigger for me.

Hi, Thank you for sharing

Hi, Thank you for sharing your story and we understand this can be upsetting to experience. We cannot determine if these feelings you describe having are a seizure or not. Seizures can take on many different forms and affect different people in different ways. Some commonly reported symptoms before and after a seizure include, “strange” feelings and fear/panic,impending doom (intense feeling that something bad is going to happen). To learn more about seizures and auras, please visit: https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/about-epilepsy-basics/what-happens-during...  It’s important that you’re able to recognize that this feels different from your normal patterns or seizures and auroras. It also important that you’re following-up with your healthcare team to review this further and if you continue to experience any changes in moods, behaviors, symptoms, side effects, seizure types/frequency, to determine what individual treatment plan is best for you. You may want to consider keeping a journal or diary. My Seizure Diary: https://www.epilepsy.com/living-epilepsy/epilepsy-foundation-my-seizure-... a great tool for identifying & tracking seizures, setting reminders,managing medications & side effects, recording medical history, moods, behaviors, triggers,and other personal experiences, that may affect seizures and wellness, which can be shared with your healthcare team. Additionally, you may always contact our 24/7 Helpline, where trained information specialists are available to answer your questions, offer help, hope, support, guidance, and access to national and local resources. 1-800-332-1000, or contactus@efa.org. epilepsy.com/helpline

Hi Ananke,I truly believe

Hi Ananke,I truly believe that the fear that you are experiencing is related to you being an Epileptic.  I would have the same symptoms that you described over a 7 year period from age 10 thru age 16.  Here's what I believe your brain is doing:The left and right hemisphere can be best described as 2 different relational databases.  Each one is independent of each other with brain neurons constantly passing data between the 2 brain hemispheres.  On one side of the brain hemisphere, the brain keeps images and words.  On the other side, it keeps memories, (ie, definitions of words, memories of images).The fear factor that you are experiencing, in my opinion, is that the brain neurons are not properly connecting the images & words to the memory of images and definition of words.  Your brain knows that it should do so easily, yet your brain can't figure out why the data is not flowing properly, thus the fear/panic attack.Regarding what you are describing with not being control of your body, it's the same problem.  One side of the brain knows or believes the body needs to move, the other side knows how to control your muscles.  The brain senses that the data flow is not properly working, so it sends the data signal a 2nd, 3rd, 4th time, overreacting thus causes uncontrollable movements. It's in a panic attack and believes the way to solve the problem is to keep sending the same signal.   If it keeps doing this with stronger signals, it will trigger a seizure.  Hope this helps.  BTW - I've posted various responses today on posts dated back to 10/2019.  I'm 55 years old with a very long history of Epilepsy though I'm not on any meds and rarely on any meds when I was a child.Good luck!Irma

I have something very, very

I have something very, very similar following a seizure, but without the paralysis. I've started to get it beforehand sometimes. I have focal (left frontal lobe) to generalized tonic-clonic seizures.It's the worst thing I've ever experienced. I fear my seizures not because of falling or accidents or even embarrassment, but because of this feeling. One minute I'm fine, then I'm on the floor of my office with a bloody face from carpet-burn, begging the HR woman not to let me die. Then questioning the paramedics over and over that they have dilantin for the IV in case of status epilepticus, (I've had tonic-clonics lasting nearly 5 minutes.) I usually latch on to some crazy idea, as well. In the hospital, I was convinced someone was going to come in to the room and shoot me in the head, and I kept asking the orderly to stay to protect me, even though my husband was there, too. It takes me an hour or so to calm down, and a day to take the feelings away.Lately, it's been happening a little beforehand, but different, too. I feel this pressure wave through the left side of my head, then something like a adrenaline all over my body. A seizure may happen, or not. It seems like my emotional response affects if it happens or not, but I don't know if that makes sense. It's probably the other way around. How long does it last? From my understanding an aura usually only lasts 30 seconds or so and is actually a focal seizure. As for the emotion thing, that makes sense and is common. Temporal lobe, and frontal to a lesser degree, have projections to the limbic system (amygdala, hypothalamus, etc.), which is the emotional center. Dostoevsky, the famous Russian author, said it felt like feeling the face of God. Bastard. I've had too many this year, and I'm very angry about it.

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