Temporal Lobe epilepsy & memor

RE: Temporal Lobe epilepsy & memor

Submitted by LeeMc on Fri, 2004-11-12 - 10:46

Christine,

Lee here!  I am sorry for your loss.  I can only imagine such frustration after such hard work and time.  I think we have all suffered something similar (severe frustraion anyway) in our own way. 

My head injury happened when I was 21 and had one child.  The seizures did not begin for a couple of years after that.  They started as pedit mall and laspses but over time increased to grand mall.  During that time I gave birth to a second child (before the seizures became bad).  By the time diagnosis was achieved and meds started almost 3 more years had passed.  Meds began to control them but nobody wanted to look deeper for the cause - they just diagnosed a seizure problem and started me on meds.......I insisted that we find the cause.  I had to get emotional and sometimes rude but finally found someone who would look for the cause. 

I had received a skull fracture that had gone undiscovered while in the hospital after my accident.  I had been diagnosed with a simple concussion and sent  home after an overnight for observation.  There was a blood clot at my right temple (location of the frature) that also went undetected.  As it disolved the seizures began and increased the more it disolved. 

Over that time I became increasing confused and fearful.  I knew something was wrong when I would find myself standing at the cash register with money in my hand and no idea why....I managed to hide that for a while by joking with customers and looking at the register to see if it was the price or the change....It scared me to death.  That was the only place where things flowed together enough for me to know it was happening.  I began to drink a lot - partly to escape the fear.  I finally told my doctor and he set me up with appointments at the University Hospital - but I couldn't get in for almost another year.  During that year we moved, I changed jobs and my seizures increased in intensity but I don't know about frequency.

Having Epilepsy has never affected my jobs in that I lost any - It did limit what I could do at times (although I am trained and experienced in a number of fields) but it did cause strain when I finally did get in to see the neuro and needed several follow-up visits.  I found employeers to be very understanding so long as I was open and honest.  I had more problem as a result of the drinking that continued to increase as an escape from the fear and because it gave me a false sence of security.

Over the years I have changed careers many times - because I wanted to not because I had to.  I did not have the time invested in a goal like you did - but eventually I was able to set goals and to achieve them.  In Iowa we call the program "Hired" and it is usually presented through the Job Service centers and by JTPA.  It evaluates your interests and abilities through a series of questions.  My results were really no suprise to me but I had never thought of them as career options.  Part of the program is that they also provide career opportunities that match your interests and greatest abilities.  It opened many new doors for me and I have found great jobs and definate fulfillment by persuing some of those opportunities.  I also developed more skills and gained more knowledge in new fields as well as ones I was already involved in.

I did become a full blown alcoholic and drug addict in my persuit to escape and feel safe.  How I was able to do that on my meds and never suffer any interactions is beyond me!  I have been lucky - life has been good.   I have been clean and sober for 21 years now.  I have new challenges to face today.  Menopause, side effects of being on the same meds for 30 years, and just plain age related stuff....which may include changes in how my E manifests itself.   I am seeking answers to new questions now and looking in new places.  This site and the people on it (from all over the world) are helping this Iowa farm girl more then I can say.

Epilepsy definately changes your life - but how much or how little is something you can determine.  There is always a new way to go.  Being excited about persuing new directions instead of forever grieving the ones lost is a great attitude and an even greater gift to yourself.  I wish you success and happiness in your future! ................Lee

RE: Temporal Lobe epilepsy & memor

Submitted by Karolwf on Sat, 2004-11-13 - 04:32

Christine,

I did not have the extreme of memory loss that you have had but I do suffer from short term memory. It is hard to transfer the short term into long term so I forget dates and as far as being able to go back to school I might as well forget that. I would not remember what I learned in the long run. I can recall the basic picture but not a lot of detail even if I go over and over it - by the next day it is gone. I cannot even remember my own telephone number or my children's - I have to look them up . When I was working full time I was a walking telephone directory- now that is all gone. I have accepted it and have decided to go on. You were fortunate to find a mental health provider that understood what you were going through-- most of the ones I have come across want to lock me up and throw away the key.  I tend to shy away from mental health departments as they are detrimental to my health.  I can laugh about it now but once I was put in a mental institution because I had a seizure and it was so hard trying to get out even when the next day they figured out that I had epilepsy and not psychosis. I really do steer clear of psychology although I would love to be able to talk with someone who understood and who would help me cope with the illness instead of making me feel more depressed than I am.

Karol