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How exactly do aura's feel

How exactly do aura's feel? Can you have aura's and not have an actual seizure? I think I had some this weekend. I went off into like a "spacy" feeling. Like I was tingling and I couldn't make myself snap out of it for a few seconds. I have had a headache since I has these feelings. I have had E a long time, but I am new to all the terminology and so forth. Thanks.


I have them a lot. Most of the time I am "spacey" and get the feeling of imminent doom. I will sit in my house terrified to go out-terrified to meet people, just terrified of everything. I am afraid to die and dwell on it constantly. Disco balls and the likes will bring them on "they make u feel weak and like u are out of your mind" but then again they can be pleasant and it seems like I have all the answers to life ( which I rationalize I don't). Sometimes I don't know what the hell I am doing and people have commented on this. I was told that I have frontal Lobe w/brain spikes. I had to look this up because the Drs. don't go into detail and if they do I can't remember what they said. I can't remember dates, people etc. I take antidepressants and Xanax because I can't deal with things. Stress is a major one-simple little things can put me in panic mode then headaches and auras. I smell smoke a lot and think the house is burning up. Anyways-people aura's are all different-maybe we are all in hell or heaven. I don't know becuz before this I was unsure if God existed-now I know something is messing with my mind showing me the way of bliss or oblivion. I have to seem to have the same dreams every night and I am always cold. We are all there for one another.

I know exactly what you mean!!!!

Hi Hannah:

I was reading your post and I was wondering how you know you're having an aura.  I have had nocturnal TCs for 38 years and I think I've just started experiencing them but they can be really freaky.  Sometimes I'm in bed just before I drift off and all of a sudden I see floating red specks (sometimes other colours too) and they slowly drift toward me, sometimes blinking on and off really fast. I start feeling panicky because I know what could come next. Sometimes it does happen other times it doesn't. I've tried explaining this to my neurologist but he just doesn't get it. Do you think I should try getting up and walking around or just stay put?

The other type of aura? is I'm thinking about something strange and zone out for a couple of seconds. Most of the time this does not preclude a seizure but it still is a little disconcerting.  I'll definitely try to do something different if I feel one of these types of auras coming on.

I have no idea what I should do. All tests have been inconclusive since I was 2 and every time I go to the neurologist he says there is nothing he can do for me. Can anyone give me some suggestions?


its the same with me. i just recently found out that i have epilepsy and its really not fun. but i went through all my life not knowing that what was happening to me was seizures, because they werent grand mal. And now that i am on medication, im tired, and my eyes do this weird flicking back and forth.

The seizures that i have dont hurt neither does the eye flicking. But lately i have been having like intense headaches which i never used to get,and its just kind of scary.

Right now im also sick with some sort of flu like symptom thing. And i have a really bad cough and im really congested. i feel sick ALL the time and i afraid i might push out a seizure thats how bad and deep my auras are getting. I feel like im dreaming, and when i walk its all light like theres no weight on me. I admit it feels like being high. and i wasnt sure it was an aura. and my head was so (congested) it felt like nothing, i felt like i was going to falll down but i sort of felt ok with it.

I dont know. its strange. I'm strange.



Hello Leon,

I'm glad that you're seeing a neurologist next week.  If you feel like sharing with us after your doc visit, please post your thoughts here.  The feelings of fear and anxiety are the worst, coloring our lives so profoundly.  I guess the silver lining is that our syndrome and associated symptoms can help us become more sensitive to the feelings of others.

Some days that isn't much consolation.  Take care.  :-)

Cradle Song

I found Flashbakx (see above) description of an aura to be very interesting. I have read that many people have an aura that feels like an emotional response that may be fear, sadness, joy, etc. Mine feel like a shift in consciousness accompanied by slight happiness. I would describe it as a positive feeling of increased awareness and enjoyment of the world around me. However, then comes the seizure with headache unpleasant dizziness etc., but hey it was fun while it lasted :)

Hi there.
I had encephalitis early last year and as a result I now have epilepsy.
I've had a couple of seizures. My last full blown seizure was in March of last year
but I've had alotof auras since. In fact my last aura was yesterday morning.
My auras scare the life out of me. They just burst onto me like a really strong deja vu. I start to feel really dizzy and I get the weirdest thoughts of some ridiculous memory, that I can't understand why I should be remembering it. It could be a song, a talk with someone from years ago, or other things that I have no reason to remember. I can't talk properly while this happens and I have to try and talk myself out of it. I try to breath in through my nose and fight it as hard as I can.
I use this analogy... It's like a big black hole appears beside me and if I look into the black hole and try to see what's in there I'll fall in. If I fall in a seizure will kick in.
The after effect for me is tiredness and I just feel depressed and down because it's so hard not knowing when the next one will happen.


My son had Viral Encephalitis two years ago, and now has epilepsy.  The auras you describe sound so much like what my son TRIES to describe to me (He's 11).  I would really appreciate it if I could hear from you and hear more about your story.  It's been a very hard time for us, as I'm sure it has for you.

Val Clark

Before my surgery 8 years ago I would have that feeling to. A deja vu feeling and remembering hearing a past situation in my head, but you can't talk. It was the same everytime ,but I still can't explain it. I had surgery in 2000 I had astrocytoma in part of my brain that works speech and memory. My memory lasted. I sord of had to relearn speech.

Since my surgery I've only had 4 gran mals since 2000. I went 6 years without one, But after my mom passed away I was so upset and stressed in brought a seizure on. I had one last year to at work and luckily there was only one child in my class and another teacher there. The seizures aren't the same I don't have the dejevu. I just start feeling weird and scared and then my vision starts fadeing out and I can't breath. I still bite my tongue.I hate biting my tongue. It takes a while to heal. Now I haven't a seizure in a year. I have had a couple weird feelings since then. I pray It doesn't continue. I'm scared.

Before my surgery 8 years ago I would have that feeling to. A deja vu feeling and remembering hearing a past situation in my head, but you can't talk. It was the same everytime ,but I still can't explain it. I had surgery in 2000 I had astrocytoma in part of my brain that works speech and memory. My memory lasted. I sord of had to relearn speech.

Since my surgery I've only had 4 gran mals since 2000. I went 6 years without one, But after my mom passed away I was so upset and stressed in brought a seizure on. I had one last year to at work and luckily there was only one child in my class and another teacher there. The seizures aren't the same I don't have the dejevu. I just start feeling weird and scared and then my vision starts fadeing out and I can't breath. I still bite my tongue.I hate biting my tongue. It takes a while to heal. Now I haven't a seizure in a year. I have had a couple weird feelings since then. I pray It doesn't continue. I'm scared.

BJR - having it is certanly strange. the first thing i do is put somthing in my mouth, sit down and hope i don't bite my tounge off. once i had one i fell over, wiped out a rocking chair, broke my glasses and put a scar under my eye it looks just like a tattoo. people sometimes look at me thinking i killed someone. what a bummer.

Graham, this is brilliant, I am going to forward it to my neurologist and GP, because I have had so much trouble describing my auras to them. I was having them for 3 years before I had my first fit and nobody could diagnose them, the closest we got was post natal psychosis at first and I thought I was losing my mind and was so scared.

 My auras scare me rigid, I go cold with fear and find myself looking at people next to me on a train or in a work meeting and think for a split second - "Who are you? Where the h*** am I?" and then think something lawful is going to happen - I know what you mean about the black hole. Also I can't believe that nobody notices what I am going through - if I look half as scared as I feel it should be obvious but apparently not. The ridiculous memory thing is so true, I hear sounds in my head like a section of dialogue from a TV programme, or have deja vu feelings -  somebody putting an item of clothing back on a rack on a shop - trivial bizarre memories. 

 They also happen in my sleep when I am particularly bad and I wake up with a mouth full of saliva and feeling sick. Afterwards my stomach has filled with acid because of the fear and I have stomach ache and headache for hours afterwards. Sleep is the only way to recover.

I am on Epilim 500 for my fits (which are only in my sleep) and these auras don't occur when I am super diligent about taking them but if I am under great stress and forget a tablet or two they come flying in from nowhere.

Interesting to hear you had encephalitis that started your fits - my auras started at 37 soon after giving birth to my second child who was a challenging baby and I was under a lot of stress at home and at work - then my first fit happened out of the blue at 40 years old after a temperature and tummy bug.

 I would love to understand more about why I develped this so late in life and also whether anybody feels like this..  It doesn't always follow that I end up having a fit.


I had viral encephalitis when I was 4 years old. During my childhood, I would always have what I would describe as "weird dreams" that would be a deja vu like sensation. It included the weird tastes and smells. I could usually hear myself talking, saying this sentence over and over and while hearing that would produce a strong euphoric feeling, like all my pleasure receptors firing at once. I could never remember what it was I was saying but while having these, what I now know as auras, it always seemed to be the same thing I was saying before. I can relate to what was described in another post as that black hole you see and if you enter it your sucked in. When I feel the aura coming on, because I strangely enjoyed the sensation, I would try to focus on it and make sure i had one (similar to the black hole analogy). They ran all kinds of tests on me but never while they were occurring so not much progress was made. It wasn't until that I became an adult that the auras developed into seizures. Before I knew I was having them, I would wonder why I would wake up so exhausted when I had a good night sleep. I would also wonder why my muscles were all sore and later wondered why my tongue was sore and there was blood on my pillow. It didn't take long after that that my wife witnessed one and we took action. My neurologist prescribed me with Trileptal and that drug pretty much eliminated the seizures. Now I don't have insurance and cannot afford the medication. I have auras from time to time. And I have a few seizures a year. I have had pretty good luck with controlling on them on my own. Usually mine are triggered when my immune system is out of whack, lack of sleep, or taking of any drugs or alcohol. I have learned that I cannot take any cold medication with pseudoephedrine, several different pain medications, or even drinking alcohol can put my body off balance enough to trigger them. But, I still feel as though I should be back on the medication because I don't know for sure completely how they are triggered.

I too have the 'who are you, where am I?' thing. Uhg, so annoying, especially when I'm with someone I know very well in a place I also know well. Just stupid.

All the best, Christine

I've suffered from these things since I was 4 years old!  I've been to doctors when I was that age, and a liittle later, but they put it off to night terorrs......


 I'm now 44 years of age and still suffering from the same affliction (though only once or twice a month).  I have never been diagnosed with eplilepsy, but I always knew that it to be true.  I am scheduled to see a neurologist on Tuesday about an (unconnected I hope) condition with my feet, and I figured it would be a gret time to bring up my existing problem.


My Dad used to call it the "Diddies"!  I guess it was his way of triviallizing his concern over what kept waking his son at all hours of the night.  My symptoms were basically the same as the others above.  Profuse sweating,  chills,  the same bloody tune or saying being repeated over and over,  and above all,  utter terror.  I could not wish this experience on my worst enemy!  I've been asked by family and friends so many times over the past 30 years to describe how it felt, but I could ony reply with, "I can't!".  There were just too many feelings and imagined experiences to put into words..  


Thank you for your Website!!  Tonight is the first time that I've read described exactly how I feel during these episodes.  Everything from  the feeling (deep in the gut) of impending doom,  to the instant need for flight....

Though I've read above, that Aura normally lasts only 20 or 30 seconds, my attacks always lasted for 5 or 10 minutes.  Stripping down to my underwear and running around our house in the middle of winter was and is not abnormal...!  After that period, I would usually be very tired and fall to sleep shortly, though to this day, I remember everything.  I have never had a full Siezure that I know of (thank God).

 I'm happy that when I see the Neurologist on Tuesday, I will be better able to describe the problems that I am experiencing with my feet, and finally bring up the 40 year old  (possible)  Epilepsy concern that I have.








Hi there. So my gf has had a couple seizures but a few aura feelings over the past few months. Have u had any other seizures or are they just the aura feeling? Thanks



Hi Graham,

 Thank you so much for describing your aura. The part with the ridiculus memory is exactly what happens to me with a little bit of recalling dreams that I have had in the past thown in the mix. With me, the memory slips away and I can hold it in consciousness to process it. Once the initial memory slips away, I feel an overwhelming since of dread and anxiety that last for about 10 to 20 seconds. I have never had a seizure but my sister has epilepsy and when I described my experince (much like yours) she said is sounded a lot like an aura. To complicate matters, I have OCD (an anxiety disorder) so I start having depersonalization experiences. I am trying to figure out if my experiences are truly auras or an episode of depersonalization. Anyway, thanks again for your description.

I believe I have auras that lead to a seizure ... I may be wrong .. but here is what I experience:  I will get thid sudden kinda pressure or shift in reality.  I then hear this noise in my right ear that quickly settles in my left ear.  there will be dizziness so I sit down.  the sound gets louder and louder as if my head were going to expode.  at first it would scare me so but I am used to it and know the rest of the story.  anyway my left side of my head will get numb or tingley.  I will place my head in my left hand and do some slight lip smacking.  slowly the sound and pressure goes away.  It lasts about 2 minutes or so. I will feel exhausted.  my speech will be slurred and I will have trouble remembering words.  then I'll need to sleeep for an hour or so.  I also get that weird feeling of having dreamt that I was experience things and places at a moment.  that scares me more than a seizure cause it is so weird. anyway thanks for reading

HOW RIGHT YOU ARE !! I've heard literally hundreds of descriptions of what an aura feels like, but yours takes the prize, "A Sudden Shift in Reality!" Then too, when I wake up after one of those aura-induced dreams you describe, I just wish that some of those more delightful, "non-epileptic" things HAD occurred. But what still fascinates me is that if out shopping here in NYC, I just might spend money while having an aura, then not be able to recall why or where I did so! You're not alone, believe me.

I liked your reply to the subject of Aura's, especially the part about spending money!!!!

Last month I had  my first seizure, I have no memory of about a 12 hour period what people have told me is all I know of it As I did not return to conciousness for that long. So what they tell me is that I was watching t.v. and stood up went completely rigid and fell over.this lasted for about 7 minutes before my family called 911 I did not breath for over 5 minutes , they say that I relaxed and started breathing after the paramedics arrived.the first thing i remember is waking up in a hospital bed covered with wires an i.v. and an oxygen tube in my nose. the neurologist at the hospital said that I had a complex partial seizure. this is kind of a long way around to describe what I now know were auras . I started having these events where My head would have a pulsing sensation then I would start hearing sounds like they were like in a dream .The last ones before my big event began to be increasingly frightening and I would get into bed with a feeling that something bad was coming to the room these were lasting 5 to 10 minutes or more.  Since then I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea and am also on lamictol. I have also had the deja-vu thing since I was probably about 13-14 years of age never thought much of it till now. i now have periods where I cannot finish a sentance correctly iknow the word I want to say but a different word comes out of my mouth along with a confused feeling. the ct scan came out normal but ahowed some kind of irritation as did the mri. or maybe it was the ct scan. EEg showed normal too. The thing that bothers me the most is not being able to drive, getting to work is a real pain!




I read your and Im exactly the same. (almost) the" I use this analogy... It's like a big black hole appears beside me and if I look into the black hole and try to see what's in there I'll fall in. If I fall in a seizure will kick in." I get like a hole in my vision, and when I look at it, its like falling into it, and I'm there... Ill have full blow conversations with the people I'm imagining. Not sure oif tehy're memories, but ill be talking to them, and it'll be like I'm in 5 of these at once, and Im just in different situations. Like part of my mind, is talkin, the other is swimming, and the other is on the bus to uni... Its mad.

I hate explaining it to people, looking at you like you're a nutter...
If im honest, I love the feeling, its REALLY nice for me, but I dnt like it, cuz i KNOW a seizure will follow. Thats the the only downside. Besides that, its a great feeling. I always, lay down, and try to control my breathing to try and fend it off. Thats worked like once...


Julia, you have described the same "auras" I experience.  I hate them.  Have a terrible feeling of not belonging for days after. I am very tired after I have a seizure but have 2 children under 10 (who are wonderful helpers when I have a seizure) & my husband works shift work, so going to bed is not always an option for me.  I have had brain scans, brainwave tests etc., which came back as SLIGHTLY ABNORMAL.  I have sufffered migraines since I was 5 & developed depression when I was about 34.  I thought I was going mad when these seizures began back in 2001.  I feel a little better knowing that I am not as mad as I thought & I am not alone.  I do not like having these seizures but just have to live with them.  Thankfully, I have wonderful children & a fabulous husband who reassure me that I will be O.K.

ive been having aura awhile now it affects me more in work then any other time it is such a weird feeling,and i go into the biggest day dream ever and when i come round i get a bad feeling of dread, and the deja vu is so weird and i also get a memory of something that i havent thought about in years.. its been so great reading all of the replys as i actually thought i was losing the plot


I am 37 now, but began having auras at 10.  I didn't actually begin having noctunal seizures until 11.  Auras are very scary if you don't know what is happening.  At 10, I used to either leave a room as a felt it coming on and hide until it was over or I couldn't move at all and others would talk to me, but I was unable to communicate.  I used to call them "funny feelings" b/c I didn't know how to explain it at 10.  But, it is a weird deja-vu feeling or out of body experience.  It's almost as if you are in a separate world from everyone else until it stops.  I also used to feel as though my body from my head down was tingling.  My parents thought there was something psychologically wrong with me until I actually began having seizures.  My auras happended up to 15-20 times daily without a seizure ever happening until 11.  I have had auras over my lifetime since with medication adjustments and such.  It's funny to say, but they do not scare me anymore b/c at least I know what it is and after you live with something so long it doesn't seem so bad; for me at least anyways.  But, I understand that it can be very scary and wish everyone the best who fears them.

Your description of an aura comes closest to what I've been experiencing.  I've had two normal EEG's and never a regular seizure, but these auras happen between 19 days and 2 months apart, last about 10 seconds.  It will come on suddenly and leave me speechless, but focused on a weird memory or more recently, a test to complete, saying a word, speaking a name or answer to a question.  The memory fades quickly and I'm sort of drained and spacey.  I feel weird in my stomach afterwards.

I was diagnoses with mild sleep apnea and so I was hoping that with the cpap machine, my auras would be solved, but alas, they are still occurring.  Tomorrow I'm seeing my primary doctor and hope to be referred to a neurologist or seizure specialist for that angle.  I've heard they can be stress related, so am also thinking about getting into counseling, because I know I tend to repress a lot of stress and don't share the bad stuff of life verbally.

Originally I thought it was a left over from early marijuana use, because the cloud type feeling is similar to these auras.   Thanks for listening and any insights. 



Its Shopping time, Summer 2007, Staurday morning 11am, kuala lumpur-Malaysia. . . . . .

After a 45mins train ride, i drop off at Bank Negara station,

Half-way on an escalator, suddenly, i hv been taken over by d the best feeling ever, i know  people around me are not sharing similar feeling but one thing is clear, am having a nice nd good feeling. But then i feel like someone at a distant was smiling at me and i was smilling back. i feel as if he is d one transmitting this estatic feelin. But wen i look ahead to concentrate and see if i can capture a memory of d face; there was none but only a BIG black circle.

As soon as i step off the escalator, almst Like a time bomb, i am seized by a heavy blow that knocks me down and without contesting i fall on my right side. . . .That was my third seizure episode. I am 24 nw and bin having episodes since 2005.

if i were a marijuana smoker, mayb i'll say 'i feel high'. But the issue is knowing dat after dis celebrated feeling comes the opposite, whc we expect of course, THE TONIC-CLONIC ATTACK. It comes with severe depression and worst headaches.

Weneva i try to explain this, people think am a psycho freak. So i keep it to myself.

Hello, I am new to this website. Last week I posted here a few times on a thread entitled, Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. A good discussion ensued about auras and déjà vu and visions and voices. Today this heading caught my eye, “How exactly do auras feel?”

I have read this group thread from start to finish today, and there are many very interesting posts. I’ve written a book about my life-long experiences with TLE, Chopin in the Attic. It’s now out in hardcover, and your library may have it. The book’s website is:

Chopin’s Cradle Song plays as you open the website… a song that is symbolic of all my early TLE trauma.

I’ll be going on a book tour, and it’s likely that I’ll meet many people with TLE while touring, so as preparation I am studying all of you! I have lived with TLE for decades, yet I’ve never met another person with this malady.

Here on this thread, a post by “aura_f” -- fourth post from the top – overwhelmed me. His aura description comes so close to the one I often had. He wrote:

“Half-way on an escalator, suddenly I have been taken over by the best feeling ever, I know people around me are not sharing [a] similar feeling but one thing is clear, I am having a nice and good feeling. But then I feel like someone at a distance was smiling at me and I was smiling back. I feel as if he is done transmitting this ecstatic feeling. But when I look ahead to concentrate and see if I can capture a memory of [his] face; there was none but only a BIG black circle.”

In my book, I speak of that “someone at a distance… smiling at me” as God-consciousness, since I don’t know how else to characterize it. This is how I describe an aura I often had, so similar to that of "aura_f":

I journeyed out, farther and farther until Time was simply a lesser option, coming up to an aromatic Door, and I passed over the doorsill, finding myself in Eternity. I gazed at God-consciousness—Who had been expecting me.

"What is it?" I asked Him.

With the tenderness and mobility of a human glance, God-consciousness simply mouthed His words.

No air at all—I must have some, and I gasped.

Ever patient, God-consciousness mouthed words I must die in order to hear.

"Och!" I need air!

Who was shaking me?

I am very pleased to pen the above on a thread that is specifically about epileptic auras, since I doubt that anyone here will think I am a loon. As all of you know, words are inadequate when it comes to describing auras. One can only use language of the great Mystics and Seers in an effort to explain the feeling, in an effort to relate the essence of those few seconds. In “aura_f’s” post, his remarkable words are describing a Presence, which he calls, “someone at a distance… smiling at me and I was smiling back. I feel as if he is done transmitting this ecstatic feeling.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote of his sublime raptures when in the grip of a seizure. He also created many characters who had epilepsy. Kirilov, in The Possessed, talks about knowing "eternal harmony" while in aura and said if the ecstatic feeling were to carry on for more than five seconds, his soul could not endure it and would perish.

Thank you for listening, as I know you hear with understanding. Giving my story to the general public will not be so easy.

Cradle Song

We are all trying to find the words to describe these experiences that are so beyond the norm.  And even though often they are terrifying, they also are... special ... and really do demand and even inspire attempts at explanation or, at least, description.  It is amazing to read others' descriptions especially when the auras are similar.  It's like: "That's it!  That's it!" 

I look forward to checking out your website. Best of luck with your book and many Blessings to you.


  Having an aura is like a out of body ex[erience--not feeling or knowing *(i guess). I have had auras before but I was under a lot of stress--now that I am less stressed out and on a extra med, I don't get auras as much. An aura is like a strange feeling and the feeling of not being "in the room" so to speak. I hope you are doing better! See you doctor if you continue to feel auras.



 I totaly understand,

E with aura is a lonely place to be

4 me its like i see something i shouldnt have. and i get punished 4 it.. like some kind of x-file. the deja-vu memories i have r not always mine and sometimes its a dream from years ago that was probly 4gotten an instant after waking. i remeber it and then 4get it in a flash. then ripples. a rock thrown in a calm pond. a splash, waves, swells moving outward. till they disapear again. always thinkin the next 1 will b the 1 that never ends. they happen everday. sometimes dozens. sometimes 1. had 1 two weeks ago that lasted 4 days. it wasnt like a long deja vu thing. just really uncomfortable, nervous and terrified it felt like something was in the room. that i couldnt see. someting wrong. scared without knowing why. i begged my girlfriend not to go to work. every 5 mins. there was an aura ten times worse than normal everyday ones. a feeling i cant explain. like the rules of science are thrown out and new rules. that, like a newborn baby, i do not understand. i thougt that was the time i have been dredding for 10 years. the 1 that would last 4ever wasnt. ive been depressed ever since. about life. begining to now. its been rushing back. hitting me like a ton of bricks. its overwhelming. been cryin like a baby.i have grand mal seizures once or twice a month. but never b4 1 or after 1 not even close.

Auras can be very scary.  During one, it can seem that you've entered into a new plane of consciousness.  Consensus reality is the one we usually occupy, however mystics and saints and visionaries knew and still know that there are other planes of consciousness.  In aura, we can break into that  "otherness."  For the uninitiated, it can be frightening.  

You have a writer's skill here, as you tried to capture the experience in words.  That's hard to do, yet you succeeded.  Please know that there is nothing to fear.  You are closer to God now.  Is there a doctor you trust who you can speak to now? You need to speak to someone who will hear with understanding.

I suggest you read Gopi Krishna... or at least Google him.  Read more of these threads and post again so we know how you are doing. 

All best wishes,

Cradle Song





i wont go outside anymore. i listen 2 music. i've written some. i think 2 much. i feel like my house is a safety blanket but the walls have been closing in. this whole epilepsy thing. auras, afraid 4 no reason. crying everyday. they have left me with no choice but 2 put my back against the wall and turn all the lights on.'just like heaven' popped into my head a couple weeks ago. i put it on and now i cant listen 2 it, think of it or any other song about birth and death and all inbetween without crying. dont listen 2 daylight fairytale-the killers if your depressed about life. i hide my tears with sunglasses. if i could pour from me all of the pictures, the happiness, the saddnes, the life, and my reel of tape. i would say, "here world this is it. this is why i'm crying."


you sound a lot like my daughter with your thoughts she is 14 and she says she hates her life and she also finds home a safe place but you have to not lock yourself up due to fear when she sometimes goes out i think i take it the worst...I was wondering how old you are?? I have been trying to find another young person for my daughter to talk too about how she feels and that she is NOT the only one that thinks she has it so bad with having seizures and her depression too...we can't change what we have but we can change how we look at it they say our subconcience is so powerful that if we train it it can heal us ...all the best Hello ee I will send my prayers to you

its scary because they trigger the part of the brain that controls fear. nothing 2 do with initiation or god.

its scary because they trigger the part of the brain that controls fear. nothing 2 do with initiation or god.

Hello ee --

I am so sorry for the confusion.  When I used the term "uninitiated," I did not mean it in the sense of being initiated into a cult, for example.  I meant it in the sense of this definition of "uninitiated":

a.  not having gained knowledge or experience of a particular subject.

Here's an example of how it can be used in a sentence: "What's the difference in these colors, the uninitiated may ask, between eggshell white and wedding gown white?" 

I was saying that an epileptic who had not yet gained knowledge of the aura experience may well find the experience scary.  And when I use the term god, I have not put an upper-case "g" there.  By that I mean, a great big mystery of life. 

I am hoping that you can find guidance with regard to your auras.  Talking to those who have lived with auras might be an excellent approach for you to learn more about them.  For years I had auras and thought I was losing my mind.  After talking with others over the course of a few months, I learned not to be so frightened.  i hope that happens to you.  It is an awful feeling to live with the fear of auras.

Again, I am sorry for the confusion.  I wish you all good things.  

Cradle song




i like to keep my private thoughts...

its good 2 talk about it. but i dont like to.

its ok. i understand.

Hi again ee--

I have just re-read the post I wrote to you yesterday.  I see that the upper-case "g" was used.  I'm confused by that since I meant to use a lower-case "g", as in "god".  That's an important distinction to me because I'm not really religious in the usual sense.

I just wanted to clarify that since I don't want to add to your current worries. It's a heartbreak to hear that you are so sad that you're crying a lot.


Cradle Song


I get the same symptoms i get: an aura with a sense of already being there in that moment of time..which can sometimes lead to seeing something before it happens, or finishing a persons sentence.
luckily Keppra,or its cheaper knockoffs, medication has put a stop to them as long I don't miss a dose.

For the most part i hate seizures..however 2x that i know of it seemed to alert me to a warning or a danger..once i almost walked into a shooting at a gas station, that i always went to buy a drink after school..however i had an aura that something bad was happening.. another time..i almost got ran over crossing a crosswalk not by 1 driver but 2 in a row....luckily i took a step back.... so not sure whether they are a Godsend or not.

i have noticed if i think about a seizure or try to study it too much..a partial seizure can occur.

Also for me it seems like temperature plays a big part or use to when i was younger..whether it was really hot, or really cold.. i'd be sweating even if it was cold, or would be freezing even if it was hot.

That is the grand irony of these types of auras, isn't it?  I always refer to them as the 'agony and the ecstasy'.  There are aspects to them that are favorable and even have a sense of something special and beyond this world.  And there is the other dreaded side.  Yours actually are a form of extrasensory perception.  Mine also put me at a level of sensitivity that is to beyond the norm, and my slate of memories is just wide open from seemingly time immemorial.  It's overwhelming.  It's like something that you ask for, and you get it in spades - like "help me to see everything more clearly", "help me connect more intensively with the Universe" - and then an aura hits and you feel so miniscule and helpless before it all. 

You and ee both have incredible descriptions of your auras.  You marvel that nobody else is aware of what you are going through, floating through, spinning through.  I agree on the temp thing as well.  It was very warm the other day in my home, but I was absolutely freezing.

Trying to study the phenomenon can indeed suck you into the seizure vortex!  The more I try to pay attention to them when the big ones start, the bigger risk I'm taking.  I have to pull back before the precipice.  So frustrating!

Hang in there, and thanks for your input.  Blessings to you!

I have been on this roller coaster ride since 2012 but I am optimistic that all will be well as long as I put 100% into it.

Hang in there - I think of those who are suffering through far worse than what I am going through, to try and put things into perspective.

 Blessings to you!

May I ask which meds r u taking ?

talk to your nuero and GP. Depression and epilepsy can go hand in hand. My nuero had to insist on my going on Celexa so that I didn't always feel tired and out of it. She said that the treatments could be relied on or as effective if I was dealing with depression. She was correct. The Celexa worked. I didn't feel tired all the time anymore. I actually felt like I was living again and not watching life revolve around me and not taking part actively.

My problem right now is that for a year I have not had medical insurance and have had no meds. My doctor continued to refil my Celexa up until March. Now I have been off it for 5 months and I really need it again but can't affor to go in and see her to get a new prescription. I am also extremely lucky that I haven't had a bad time with my epilepsy. So glad I haven't had more than one GM seizure and that mine mostly happen at night when I'm asleep.

Don't know how much longer I can deal with epilepsy with no Med Ins. It's a frightening thought.

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