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Will I ever feel like I did before my seizures started?

Hey guys, I'm 18 and I had no problems or signs of epilepsy growing up. Then out of nowhere, a couple months ago I started having seizures, had an MRI/EEG, and was diagnosed with epilepsy. Ever since it started, I've felt completely different mentally. I feel pretty "foggy", disconnected from what's going on around me, my memory has been worse in all respects, and I can barely do schoolwork that was easy for me before. I'm really having a hard time dealing with this. The only part of the day I look forward to anymore is going to sleep at night, because I just hate being awake. My neurologist says that I could go back to normal once I've found the right medication and all that, but everywhere I read on these forums, it really doesn't seem like people go back to normal. Is it even possible to go back to "normal", how I felt before my seizures started? Has it worked out for everyone else? Because the idea of feeling this way for the rest of my life is driving me a little crazy here.

Comments

Re: Will I ever feel like I did before my seizures started?

Submitted by xlindziex on Mon, 2011-02-28 - 22:07

Will you ever be back to how you were completely?  No.  You will need to take medication(s) to control them and that will be a major thing.  At least it was for me when I first started having my seizures.  I've been having them for 5 years now and I've had maybe 7 or 8 out of those 5 years and some really close calls.  But I do want you to know that it does get better after time.  It becomes "normal" in the sense that it becomes routine and part of your life.  I don't know if you're wondering, but I'm 17 and it's been a long time since I've felt the feeling of being completely lost like I know you are feeling.  I was 12 or 13 so I don't remember much (bad memory, here) and I was always a "go with the flow" kind of kid, so I just went with it.  I wish I could relate more to how you feel to understand. 

Will you ever be back to how you were completely?  No.  You will need to take medication(s) to control them and that will be a major thing.  At least it was for me when I first started having my seizures.  I've been having them for 5 years now and I've had maybe 7 or 8 out of those 5 years and some really close calls.  But I do want you to know that it does get better after time.  It becomes "normal" in the sense that it becomes routine and part of your life.  I don't know if you're wondering, but I'm 17 and it's been a long time since I've felt the feeling of being completely lost like I know you are feeling.  I was 12 or 13 so I don't remember much (bad memory, here) and I was always a "go with the flow" kind of kid, so I just went with it.  I wish I could relate more to how you feel to understand. 

Re: Will I ever feel like I did before my seizures started?

Submitted by ambaby on Thu, 2011-09-29 - 07:27

Hey there..

Just before my 16th birthday last yr I had 3 really big seizures and ended up on life support. The doctors didnt exactly know what it was but just put me on epilepsy medication anyways and diagnosed me too. I have been on daily meds since (for 18 months) and havent felt the same since. I feel like i cant concentrate, i feel different. I feel like a different person in a way. I just feel like I dont want to open up to people and like they will judge me or i dont know.. I used to be really confident but its really changed me having my seizures.. I dont know whether its just I havent really accepted it or what..? i think because i cant actually remember havin the seizures, i feel like it didnt happen, so i cant understand why i should be on meds etc..

 thats just me though... !?

Hey there..

Just before my 16th birthday last yr I had 3 really big seizures and ended up on life support. The doctors didnt exactly know what it was but just put me on epilepsy medication anyways and diagnosed me too. I have been on daily meds since (for 18 months) and havent felt the same since. I feel like i cant concentrate, i feel different. I feel like a different person in a way. I just feel like I dont want to open up to people and like they will judge me or i dont know.. I used to be really confident but its really changed me having my seizures.. I dont know whether its just I havent really accepted it or what..? i think because i cant actually remember havin the seizures, i feel like it didnt happen, so i cant understand why i should be on meds etc..

 thats just me though... !?

Re: Will I ever feel like I did before my seizures started?

Submitted by Chrissyml on Thu, 2011-09-29 - 13:36

No, the only constant is life is change, and just as you can't "go back" emotionally to the person you were before high school, you don't "go back" emotionally to being exactly  the same person you were before you started having seizures. This is not, however, a bad thing; when you develop a medical problem you tend to become more aware of other people's struggles and become more sympathetic and empathic to them.

As you get older you realize that we all go through the same things; the difference is really just time, that some of us go through these struggles earlier than later. For example, in five years, you could see a woman from high school in the supermarket and she'll not only start up a converstation, but also will tell you about her battle with lupus. People who know of your condition will gravitate to when they develop a medical problem, seeking advice and understanding. Their struggles don't have to be the same as yours--they will seek your support because of what you have in common: that life dealt each of you something totally unexpected, that you weren't emotionally prepared for.

People do through a grieving process, a period where you have to redevelop your identity. People have a harder time "moving on" emotionally  if they can't be open to a change of plans. Being a longshoreman wasn't my first career choice, but I took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself.  What I have today is far better than what many people have: I've got a decent paying job with full-benefits. A lot of people CAN'T say that!

So I don't have a license...big fat hairy deal! It's a minor problem compared to many.

No, the only constant is life is change, and just as you can't "go back" emotionally to the person you were before high school, you don't "go back" emotionally to being exactly  the same person you were before you started having seizures. This is not, however, a bad thing; when you develop a medical problem you tend to become more aware of other people's struggles and become more sympathetic and empathic to them.

As you get older you realize that we all go through the same things; the difference is really just time, that some of us go through these struggles earlier than later. For example, in five years, you could see a woman from high school in the supermarket and she'll not only start up a converstation, but also will tell you about her battle with lupus. People who know of your condition will gravitate to when they develop a medical problem, seeking advice and understanding. Their struggles don't have to be the same as yours--they will seek your support because of what you have in common: that life dealt each of you something totally unexpected, that you weren't emotionally prepared for.

People do through a grieving process, a period where you have to redevelop your identity. People have a harder time "moving on" emotionally  if they can't be open to a change of plans. Being a longshoreman wasn't my first career choice, but I took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself.  What I have today is far better than what many people have: I've got a decent paying job with full-benefits. A lot of people CAN'T say that!

So I don't have a license...big fat hairy deal! It's a minor problem compared to many.

Re: Will I ever feel like I did before my seizures started?

Submitted by dawnmacks on Wed, 2012-12-12 - 18:58
I totally understand what you mean! Im constantly feeling like im not fully there and am allllways spacey. Nice to know someone else can relate! Sadly though ive tried a few different meds and techniques and none have changed it, although my tonic seizures have stopped. Does it constantly feel like your kind of in an aura? It totally does drive you crazy ive had a few episodes where ive not left my bed for days but ive realised its better to have that than full on seizures all the time and try count myself as lucky!

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