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Parents

So, I was diagnosed with epilepsy last november. I'm nineteen and I had just started my first year of college. Yeah, it was hard because I had just started college, I don't know what causes them, and I can't drive.. but what I don't understand is why my parents are getting sooooo overprotective when I know what to do, and I have a bunch of friends that know what to do if I have one... I guess I just need some help with how to tell my parents I can still be a normal teenager without disrespecting them.. I'm not aloud to stay out past 9p.m. and I have to have my medicine with me all the time and make a journal of what I eat and when I do.. I just don't understand why I can't be "normal"... whenever friends ask me to go out and hang out its later at night, and I have to say no.. I can barely make it to mandatory things for a sorority I'm in, I guess I just need some advice...?

Comments

Re: Parents

Submitted by Spike. on Thu, 2011-09-29 - 00:31

Please define "normal", paigemurray. Take the time to do some serious thinking about how you would react if you were a parent of a child who ends up being diagnosed with epilepsy. With the amount of information you have collected since November last year, concerning epilepsy, if you ever do become a parent of a child with epilepsy, or if either of your parents develops epilepsy in their future, you will be better prepared because you now have some knowledge on knowing what to do, and what not to do.

I think that one of the best ways for you to try to tell your parents that you can be a normal teenager without you trying to disrespect them, is by them actually seeing what you are capable of doing on your own. When you were much younger, I'm sure your parents gave you a bicycle with training wheels. You probably fell off the bicycle several times, but by getting back on to your bicycle, and practicing over and over, you learned how to balance yourself and were able to ride the bike on your own. When your parents were satisfied with what you were able to do on your own, your parents made the decision to take those training wheels off. Even with the training wheel off, if you ever fell off the bicycle again, you stood back up, got back onto the bicycle seat, started pedaling again, regained your balance, and continued to ride the bicycle the way you learn how to.  

Sleep deprivation is one of the common causes (triggers) for people to experience seizures because it lowers what's called the "seizure threshold". Consuming too much caffeine, not following along with the steps provided to you from the doctor who prescribed you to take the antiepileptic medication, withdrawal from alcohol, illnesses with or without fever, extremely low blood sugar level in a person who has diabetes, damage to the brain from stroke or head injury, illegal drugs, and the list goes on and on and on. A person doesn't even need to have epilepsy in order to have seizure activity. By learning more in detail about seizures and epilepsy, it will not only help decrease the amount of fear that has built up inside you, it will also help you to focus your attention on the more important things you want to have going on in your life and in your future.

Right now, your parents are noticing that their child, the one who recently started going to college, is getting closer and closer to the point where you probably won't be living in the same house they are living in. No matter if you had epilepsy or not, you are one precious gift that your parents don't want to permanently lose forever. And one of the reasons why they won't want to lose you, is because they don't want to lose the possibility of you being able to give a precious gift to them - a grandchild. 

Bruce (I'm not a doctor, but instead, an epilepsy support group leader, epilepsy advocate, who has epilepsy.)

Please define "normal", paigemurray. Take the time to do some serious thinking about how you would react if you were a parent of a child who ends up being diagnosed with epilepsy. With the amount of information you have collected since November last year, concerning epilepsy, if you ever do become a parent of a child with epilepsy, or if either of your parents develops epilepsy in their future, you will be better prepared because you now have some knowledge on knowing what to do, and what not to do.

I think that one of the best ways for you to try to tell your parents that you can be a normal teenager without you trying to disrespect them, is by them actually seeing what you are capable of doing on your own. When you were much younger, I'm sure your parents gave you a bicycle with training wheels. You probably fell off the bicycle several times, but by getting back on to your bicycle, and practicing over and over, you learned how to balance yourself and were able to ride the bike on your own. When your parents were satisfied with what you were able to do on your own, your parents made the decision to take those training wheels off. Even with the training wheel off, if you ever fell off the bicycle again, you stood back up, got back onto the bicycle seat, started pedaling again, regained your balance, and continued to ride the bicycle the way you learn how to.  

Sleep deprivation is one of the common causes (triggers) for people to experience seizures because it lowers what's called the "seizure threshold". Consuming too much caffeine, not following along with the steps provided to you from the doctor who prescribed you to take the antiepileptic medication, withdrawal from alcohol, illnesses with or without fever, extremely low blood sugar level in a person who has diabetes, damage to the brain from stroke or head injury, illegal drugs, and the list goes on and on and on. A person doesn't even need to have epilepsy in order to have seizure activity. By learning more in detail about seizures and epilepsy, it will not only help decrease the amount of fear that has built up inside you, it will also help you to focus your attention on the more important things you want to have going on in your life and in your future.

Right now, your parents are noticing that their child, the one who recently started going to college, is getting closer and closer to the point where you probably won't be living in the same house they are living in. No matter if you had epilepsy or not, you are one precious gift that your parents don't want to permanently lose forever. And one of the reasons why they won't want to lose you, is because they don't want to lose the possibility of you being able to give a precious gift to them - a grandchild. 

Bruce (I'm not a doctor, but instead, an epilepsy support group leader, epilepsy advocate, who has epilepsy.)

Re: Parents

Submitted by kingjesus18 on Thu, 2011-09-29 - 00:43
I know exactly what your going through. I have actually been dealing with epilepsy all my life. I have a-tonal seizures so medication is able to control it very well, however the doctor has tried to take me off. Time and time again I have suffered a seizure, it feels so unreal huh? Like it could never happen, like it shouldnt have happened. Its always a nightmare. I cannot drive until December and I just started college. All the things I want to do with my friends or places I wanna go on my own are just cut off. SO i know exactly what your experiencing. Ill be praying for you :)

Re: Parents

Submitted by portialee on Sun, 2011-10-23 - 23:36

hey,

although i understand what both commenters are saying below, that your parents are worried, but point is you also need to have a life! just because you have epilepsy doesn't mean thats is all you are. whats the point of life if its not enjoyed. 

are dorms an option? i definitely think 9pm curfew is a bit ridiculous (that was mine at boarding school when i was 12, by 17 i had epilepsy and the curfew was 10; home i didn't have one) i'd start with that and be like over then next few weeks i'm going to stay up till whenever see if anything happens then just be like i am going to be at X with Y  and will text if plans change, then just go home when you start feeling tired (or by the sounds of things if they are that overprotective maybe to start with 10 then slowely just build up to later) because that must be quite alienating for you and your friends especially if they need to drive you.

next what about one night having a glass of wine with your dinner at home.

and also overnighting at friends places is totally normal at 19 so that isn't disrespecting your parents

also how on earth are you going to figure out what brings on your seizures if you're not allowed to experiment. i figured out my limits are physical stresses on my body like travelling and exhaustion, nasty experience on a long haul flight, so now i have a little ritual and haven't had a problem since but i've done a triathlon - fine - ; partied days on end - fine - ; and cycled ~350 kms in 4.5 days - fine -.... 

can you reason with them and just be like i dont want to go against what you say but they have to ease back because you dont want to end up resenting them 

i was 16 when i was diagnosed, I've had ~8 grandmal seizures and countless petit mal but my medication controls it pretty well. 

i was lucky my parents never let me use epilepsy as a reason not to do anything, I left home a year and a half later to move to the other side of the world where i didn't speak the language and knew no one.

sorry for the rant i'm doing research on a epilepsy project and there really is an abundance of worried parents out there, which is fair enough, mine can be that way sometimes too, but theres so much focusing on what could go wrong rather than just living. 

hey,

although i understand what both commenters are saying below, that your parents are worried, but point is you also need to have a life! just because you have epilepsy doesn't mean thats is all you are. whats the point of life if its not enjoyed. 

are dorms an option? i definitely think 9pm curfew is a bit ridiculous (that was mine at boarding school when i was 12, by 17 i had epilepsy and the curfew was 10; home i didn't have one) i'd start with that and be like over then next few weeks i'm going to stay up till whenever see if anything happens then just be like i am going to be at X with Y  and will text if plans change, then just go home when you start feeling tired (or by the sounds of things if they are that overprotective maybe to start with 10 then slowely just build up to later) because that must be quite alienating for you and your friends especially if they need to drive you.

next what about one night having a glass of wine with your dinner at home.

and also overnighting at friends places is totally normal at 19 so that isn't disrespecting your parents

also how on earth are you going to figure out what brings on your seizures if you're not allowed to experiment. i figured out my limits are physical stresses on my body like travelling and exhaustion, nasty experience on a long haul flight, so now i have a little ritual and haven't had a problem since but i've done a triathlon - fine - ; partied days on end - fine - ; and cycled ~350 kms in 4.5 days - fine -.... 

can you reason with them and just be like i dont want to go against what you say but they have to ease back because you dont want to end up resenting them 

i was 16 when i was diagnosed, I've had ~8 grandmal seizures and countless petit mal but my medication controls it pretty well. 

i was lucky my parents never let me use epilepsy as a reason not to do anything, I left home a year and a half later to move to the other side of the world where i didn't speak the language and knew no one.

sorry for the rant i'm doing research on a epilepsy project and there really is an abundance of worried parents out there, which is fair enough, mine can be that way sometimes too, but theres so much focusing on what could go wrong rather than just living. 

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