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For the past 9 months my life has been turned upside down that I have never been through before. My first “episode” , as some drs have told me, was July 24th. It was a feeling I have never felt, felt like the devil had possessed my body. The screaming, the tight, and strong clenching the teeth, the arms and fingers curled, screaming with teeth clenched. I couldn’t move and having thoughts in my head after the episode that I was going to die. After the 3rd, “episode” that day and having passed out, my family called 911, I was rushed to the hospital where I was told it was dehydration and was left embarrassed and ashamed and so small, that It wasn’t an emergency. A few weeks later I had another aura feeling and feel back with no movement of my body, eyes were open but couldn’t talk, move or felt lifeless and my eyes would have tiny drops of tears coming down the side of my cheeks (I am someone who doesn’t cry), my head always falls back without movement so we knew something was wrong. It wasn’t a cry it was just tears rolling down the side of my face. I continued to have them, but then became stronger. I went and saw my family dr and in the office I had one and he was very concerned. My clenching of the teeth began more and more and my breathing scared my husband. Sometimes I would clench and feel paralyzed and feel out of body. I always know when an episode would come on with an aura feeling every time. I could just be watching tv or in bed and one would come on. I finally went to a neurologist, did an MRI, results came back and it was a lesion that was deeper than he had seen, BUT was no big deal and brushed me away. We needed another opinion. Went to another dr. And was told that I had past trauma and It was just anxiety and I should see a therapist. Let’s just say, which I have never done, I walked out of a drs office,that day was my first I went to the car and sobbed. My husband explained to him that these episodes were not anxiety. So onto another dr. He asked me the usual questions, have I had past trauma, been in a war, been molested (and no I have never), or ever hit my head. No none of these have happened. He looked at the scans and diagnosed me with “partial complex seizures”. I was relieved that I found a dr that believed me, I was not making this up! My husband made videos and kept track of when and times these happened. But they began coming worse on meds after 3 months of being seizure free until I had what felt like a stroke. Left side of my body, couldn’t swallow feel my tongue and then the left side of my body went numb and I couldn’t move or talk and then finally passed out at the er. I was then diagnosed with Todd’s Syndrome and then put on another med along with my seizure med (costs $200). It’s fine I will find a way to afford it because it was helping me for months. I had been seizure free for 3 months, until recently. Had a close to grand mal. My hands went to my face curled up to my face, my husband couldn’t pull my hands down, shaking, teeth so clenched that he said I was screaming. I don’t remember anything. I had an appointment with what was told to me he was an epitologist that took me 6 months to get an appt with and was told he was great. He was closer to my home. Which come to find out he was not an epitologist, and then gave me the shpeel that it’s past trauma and anxiety and that some seizure are fake and they mimic them. I wanted to cry and scream and say “I KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS!!! THIS IS NOT ANXIETY!!!” My thoughts through out this entire journey was not for myself, it was my husband who has to seen me go through this and not really getting answers because my lesion or “could be a mass” the main dr said. My family has left us because they can’t deal with this anymore. I am at a loss, I will go anywhere in the world that is the best of the best to find out what is going on and why this is happening all of a sudden. Why? I am 35 years old with nothing of medical history, I don’t take any meds besides the seizure meds, I hate taking meds! If anyone has anything to help me I would love to know if anyone has had these types of seizures: the aura feeling before, blank stare, crying on the side, the loss of movement in my limbs that take forever to come back, one time it took 5 hrs for my arms to work, I can’t talk, when a bad one comes I clench teeth, scream a little, my husband says sometimes I look at him for help but I don’t remember. Help is wanted! I really go anywhere for answers! I hope there are others out there like me!