Struggling at the moment

Having a bad few days and just wanted a place to vent out :/ I’ve not been completely diagnosed yet, but specialist seems to thing I have temporal lobe epilepsy. I’ve only had about 4-5 shaking full on seizures. But the main ones I have are aura types (Grand Mal?) as you can probably tell, I’m feeling a bit lost with it all Basically, I’ll get this light headed feeling, which will then be joined by the most awful feeling of dread and sensation in my stomach, which feels like it’s rising through my body, then a deja vu sensation. It had been really rarely I’d had these, sometimes only 1 a month. But recently it’s got a lot worse, for example early hours Thursday morning it woke me (if I’m asleep & it happens I seem to struggle to breathe) I then over 24hr period had about 7 incidents I feel my memory is getting so much worse & as I suffer from depression anyway, that’s come on massively this week (even though Thursday was by far the worst they’ve been happening more regularly) I live alone, so nobody sees these, specialist has asked me to film them, but when it happens I wouldn’t know what a phone was, let alone how to use one I’m on lamotrigine and currently upping the amount I’m taking from 25mg twice a day to a higher dose (can’t remember at the moment) so I’m hoping this change in medication is somewhat responsible & it’ll settle out Just feel I’m in a losing battle with my mind and feel so hopeless