Community Forum Archive

Hi everyone, I am fighting a loosing battle and I want to see if anyone can offer me some friendly advice. My sister has epilepsy and was diagnosed when she was 15 years old. She is now 32, married with 3 children and we have fallen out. She will not speak to me or any member of my family about her epilepsy and has been in denial about it since the day she was diagnosed. When she was diagnosed, she refused to take her medication and things just got worse. The doctors were hopeful of the possibility of her growing out of it but because of her denial and lack of self care, she has not grown out of it. Since the day she was diagnosed, my dad and I have always offered support but she refuses to speak to us about her epilepsy and how she is managing it. She has quite significant memory loss and I suspect (because she won't talk to us) is still having fits and absences. Her husband is a good man but my sister rules the house and will not be interfered with. I have watched her have fits, cared for her afterwards and have always done everything I can to help (without swamping her). When she was pregnant she was fitting but fortunately, she has produced 3 very healthy and happy children. I was always very concerned about what advice she sought on pregnancy and epilepsy but we are past that now with her youngest being 3 years old. She has however, in my opinion, made the worst decision (noting her denial of diagnosis) and works nights in a supermarket. This involves starting a shift at maybe 8pm and working right through the night until 5/6am. Because she cannot drive, this also involves a 40 odd minute walk to work (in the dark each way) along a national speed limit road (her husband can't take her because he can't leave the children). She has regular absences with minimal knowledge of them having taken place, has walked in the road in the past, nearly burnt the house down amongst other things over the years. The reason we have fallen out is because I fight against her decision to walk this journey to work and do the night shift. She is so adamant on independence (I can do anything attitude) and will not accept the risks this night work exposes to her life. In the beginning, she would do the night shift and stay awake the following day to take care of her youngest. Her youngest is now in nursery so I believe she may now sleep through the day following a night shift. At the tail end of last year she got hit by a car on her walk to work. The driver said that she simply walked in front of the moving car and my sister cannot recall anything, leaving me to only conclude that maybe she had an absence (although she denies this but she wouldn't know!!). My family and I are of the opinion that she is lucky to be alive but in true denial, she is back on the night shift again. We actually had a falling out before this accident took place but since the accident, she is showing no signs of wanting to be friends again. If I don't express my opinion of her choices, I will only live with regret if anything happens to her however my opinion has now damaged out relationship. I have also read numerous articles on how working a night shift reduces the length of a life without adding epilepsy into the equation. I have no idea what too do now or where to turn to. Is there anyone out there facing similar concerns with a family member or friend that can offer some advice?