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Ecstatic Seizures
Thu, 08/27/2009 - 07:32Hi
Has anyone experienced "ecstatic" seizures? I've had a series of them recently, and they are amazing: totally outside the range of normal experience and by far the best experiences of my life! I'm not religious or "spiritual" but recognise that they could be construed by others as deep and meaningful life changing events...evidence of the "divine" as opposed to neurological events.
I've been told by my neurologist they are very rare and I've not been able to find out much about them/share experiences.
Victoria
Hello all, I'm adding this comment just over a month after the original post having realised that the thread is now incredibly confusing and there are some misunderstandings following what seem to be random postings. You may want to follow the date order of the posts before making comments or coming to conclusions.
Regards,
Victoria
Comments
Re: Ecstatic Seizures
Submitted by 3Hours2Live on Sun, 2009-09-27 - 05:10
Re: Ecstatic Seizures
Submitted by victoria.w on Sun, 2009-09-27 - 18:57
Hi Tadzio, I'm still not sure I understand - stimulus, response...as for the simple step to more appropriate and useful positive reinforcers what can be more positive than the greatest highs I'm going to experience in life and therein lies my dilemma? I'm also aware I'm bullshitting. I know the ecstatic seizures are not good for me; I know I should buy the book you mentioned and spend time inside a quiet and dimly lit room contemplating theories and absorbing knowledge and try to avoid the natural world where I'm surrounded by triggers that reinforce the ecstatic experience; but I'm scared if I take steps to try and stop the process I'll lose them forever. Perhaps this is why I need to talk it through with someone from the "medical" world even though for me, this is a big leap of faith.
I realise, ultimately, it's a form of madness that has to end. A Jane Austen short story....I'm not sure I get that either: maybe I've blown too many braincells?
PS My sense of direction is pretty crap too with the added drawback - I can convince myself on route, that I know where I'm going! And the narrowing text thing is really irritating.
Victoria
Hi Tadzio, I'm still not sure I understand - stimulus, response...as for the simple step to more appropriate and useful positive reinforcers what can be more positive than the greatest highs I'm going to experience in life and therein lies my dilemma? I'm also aware I'm bullshitting. I know the ecstatic seizures are not good for me; I know I should buy the book you mentioned and spend time inside a quiet and dimly lit room contemplating theories and absorbing knowledge and try to avoid the natural world where I'm surrounded by triggers that reinforce the ecstatic experience; but I'm scared if I take steps to try and stop the process I'll lose them forever. Perhaps this is why I need to talk it through with someone from the "medical" world even though for me, this is a big leap of faith.
I realise, ultimately, it's a form of madness that has to end. A Jane Austen short story....I'm not sure I get that either: maybe I've blown too many braincells?
PS My sense of direction is pretty crap too with the added drawback - I can convince myself on route, that I know where I'm going! And the narrowing text thing is really irritating.
Victoria
Re: Ecstatic Seizures
Submitted by victoria.w on Sat, 2009-09-26 - 19:18
Hello all,
Johnny - I'm glad your meeting went OK; it appears you were in the driving seat to a certain extent, which is always good BUT....this drug abilify - did I read that right? Are they taking the mickey or what? Switch the f to a t and you have ability = natural capability. Oh I don't know. If you were OK on the drug cocktail they have you on already it would be one thing, but you're obviously not, so they give you a drug to "cure" or "dampen" the side effects of other drugs or that's my reading of the situation from what you've told me already. I have no idea whether the mix they have you on is reasonable or not. Do you trust any of them? If so, ask him/her whether they would take the same cocktail or let their son or daughter do so and if they look you in the eye and tell you yes, then perhaps....
Don't get me wrong - anti-depressants were a life line to me at certain stages of my life and when I discovered Lamotrigine it was if a switch went on in my brain that routed me to what I assume to be "normality": life suddenly became a whole lot easier; lots of disturbing and disruptive symptoms went away and I was really happy...but 18 months on and I'm experiencing brain mayhem again albeit with life affirming ecstatic seizures. I suppose there are no easy answers.
The price of your medication...I've read some posts on this site about people not being able to afford tests and medication and I find this so weird. I just can't get my head around your health care system - to use an American expression - "it sucks". The NHS is not perfect but it is pretty damn good in comparison.
Tadzio,
Where do I begin? Editing - well I'm a harsh critic, and slightly paranoid. It suddenly occurred to me after posting my original response, that I had totally ignored the confessional part of your post and I thought I may have missed the point. Perhaps I should have offered sympathy? I love your esoteric style but I'm short on time (full time job, young son, various ambitions, competing demands) and I'm a great believer in compromise. Come on, I've done a quick internet scan of Popper, Russell and Skinner (and left Popper - the Open Society and Its Enemies on my bookshelf) but I still don't really get "Radical Behavourism". Explain to me in simple terms why it does it for you....as I'm not convinced. I think I mentioned in my pre-edited comment I'm impatient. Pretend I'm an iurodivyi and I'll meet you half-way. And is there any way you can cut and paste your post downwards so "natural" order is restored and there's access for any other lonely ecstatics out there in cyberspace? If they're looking for enlightenment or to make sense of their experience - they will be very confused. Am I asking too much? Oh finally, I agree with your cynicism towards psychiatrists - but I've reached a stage of my life where desperation has taken over and I'm well and truely floundering in shit, when I'm not merging with the cosmos and falling in love with seagulls, clouds and flowers! Worse still, I sometimes find myself looking for God out there, and I cry way too much. Perhaps it's a female thing but the emotional intensity of the last few months - when I've been experiencing almost daily ecstatic seizures - is burning me out!
Zealot - are you OK?
.....Victoria
Hello all,
Johnny - I'm glad your meeting went OK; it appears you were in the driving seat to a certain extent, which is always good BUT....this drug abilify - did I read that right? Are they taking the mickey or what? Switch the f to a t and you have ability = natural capability. Oh I don't know. If you were OK on the drug cocktail they have you on already it would be one thing, but you're obviously not, so they give you a drug to "cure" or "dampen" the side effects of other drugs or that's my reading of the situation from what you've told me already. I have no idea whether the mix they have you on is reasonable or not. Do you trust any of them? If so, ask him/her whether they would take the same cocktail or let their son or daughter do so and if they look you in the eye and tell you yes, then perhaps....
Don't get me wrong - anti-depressants were a life line to me at certain stages of my life and when I discovered Lamotrigine it was if a switch went on in my brain that routed me to what I assume to be "normality": life suddenly became a whole lot easier; lots of disturbing and disruptive symptoms went away and I was really happy...but 18 months on and I'm experiencing brain mayhem again albeit with life affirming ecstatic seizures. I suppose there are no easy answers.
The price of your medication...I've read some posts on this site about people not being able to afford tests and medication and I find this so weird. I just can't get my head around your health care system - to use an American expression - "it sucks". The NHS is not perfect but it is pretty damn good in comparison.
Tadzio,
Where do I begin? Editing - well I'm a harsh critic, and slightly paranoid. It suddenly occurred to me after posting my original response, that I had totally ignored the confessional part of your post and I thought I may have missed the point. Perhaps I should have offered sympathy? I love your esoteric style but I'm short on time (full time job, young son, various ambitions, competing demands) and I'm a great believer in compromise. Come on, I've done a quick internet scan of Popper, Russell and Skinner (and left Popper - the Open Society and Its Enemies on my bookshelf) but I still don't really get "Radical Behavourism". Explain to me in simple terms why it does it for you....as I'm not convinced. I think I mentioned in my pre-edited comment I'm impatient. Pretend I'm an iurodivyi and I'll meet you half-way. And is there any way you can cut and paste your post downwards so "natural" order is restored and there's access for any other lonely ecstatics out there in cyberspace? If they're looking for enlightenment or to make sense of their experience - they will be very confused. Am I asking too much? Oh finally, I agree with your cynicism towards psychiatrists - but I've reached a stage of my life where desperation has taken over and I'm well and truely floundering in shit, when I'm not merging with the cosmos and falling in love with seagulls, clouds and flowers! Worse still, I sometimes find myself looking for God out there, and I cry way too much. Perhaps it's a female thing but the emotional intensity of the last few months - when I've been experiencing almost daily ecstatic seizures - is burning me out!
Zealot - are you OK?
.....Victoria