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Ecstatic Seizures

Thu, 08/27/2009 - 07:32

 Hi

Has anyone experienced "ecstatic" seizures?  I've had a series of them recently, and they are amazing: totally outside the range of normal experience and by far the best experiences of my life!  I'm not religious or "spiritual" but recognise that they could be construed by others as deep and meaningful life changing events...evidence of the "divine" as opposed to neurological events. 

I've been told by my neurologist they are very rare and I've not been able to find out much about them/share experiences. 

Victoria

Hello all,  I'm adding this comment just over a month after the original post having realised that the thread is now incredibly confusing and there are some misunderstandings following what seem to be random postings.   You may want to follow the date order of the posts before making comments or coming to conclusions.   

Regards,

Victoria

Comments

Re: Ecstatic Seizures

Submitted by 3Hours2Live on Sun, 2009-08-30 - 02:51
Hi victoria.w, Quite a few of my happy "ecstatic" partial complex seizures have returned, after about 25 years of being very infrequent. I had a lot of ecstatic seizures in my childhood and into my late twenties. Unpleasant seizures greatly outnumbered them, but ecstatic ones were enough to be considered kissed by the gods, and the deja vu really helped in my university classes. The strong emotions of the seizures seemed to be at battle with one another as I was a helpless bystander, who slowly learned to ignore them whenever something mundane needed to be done, like going to school or homework. The works of Proust and Dostoevsky come the closest in exemplifying the deja vu, and strongly implying the sensation of being kissed by the gods as an ecstatic aura, at times with disastrous consequences, but often with brief instances of simple ignorant divinity. The biggest problem I experienced from strong emotive seizures were that they succeeded each other in sequences that were often inappropriate and unknowable to other individuals, and unforeseeable to me, destroying any compatible intuition, and that while polite society tends to conceal strong emotions, my ignoring my seizure's strong emotions in social interactions inadvertantly trained me to a very flat, indifferent, external affect with strangers, with impish exceptions. Briefly feeling divine in very threatening situations is also very dangerous!

Re: Ecstatic Seizures

Submitted by victoria.w on Fri, 2009-09-04 - 18:35
 Thanks for the response.  I've actually done a bit of research to find out more, and strangely, I mirrored Dostoevsky's comment when writing about my first ecstatic seizure that occurred over 20 years ago: I wrote at the time it was worth 10 years of normal existence!  I always hankered after the experience but never thought I'd get a repeat: all my complex partial seizures before and after (except the last month or so) have been of the other kind "nightmarish".  I also get your "battle."  My first ecstatic seizure came hot on the heels of several really bad CP seizures - I couldn't seem to come out of them and then had the best experience of my life (until very recently).  I'll call it my "God" moment but won't go into details other than to say I fully understand why people become convinced that God exists.  Fast forward to the present: - it's still a battle as these unexpected ecstatic seizures come packaged with intense suicidal thoughts so I'm in a weird place, experiencing some of the best moments of my life and  the most depressing.  I’m glad to say the suicidal thoughts are receding now that I've reduced the dose of my anticonvulsants.  However, I appreciate I'm lucky in lots of ways.  For some, it's all bad, for me, I get to a place that most people can only "dream about" and perhaps it is "almost to die for".   My only problem immediately following these mind blowing experiences is that I have these weird evangelical urges to take to the streets like a religious maniac but there’s no conversion in sight!  I’m firmly in the neurological camp but respect the views of people who are religious.         

Victoria

 

Victoria

 

Re: Ecstatic Seizures

Submitted by johnny on Sat, 2009-09-05 - 21:11

 I've been reading the posts on the topic that you mentioned ,estatic seizures. I'm 35 years old and have temporal lobe epilepsy. My seizures are somewhat controlled . . .but not that great. I have had right temporal resection that mostly was a success for my tonic clonic szs. My left temporal still is damaged. This all came from Encephtylitis (viral) back in 02. I've experienced just about every type of seizure that there was...throughout all these years. But just recently back in February I had a status attack, that was smple part.-complex partial & tonic clonic. I was found face first in the carpet , blood all over my forehead then was picked up by an ambulance brought to a hospital , the attack lasted over 5 hours. The doctors gave me 11 mgs of ativan, but was still having small episodes for 2 days straight while under monitoring. It took me 5 days to finally realize where I was at and then they released me to go home. I usually remember alot about they way these seizures make me feal emotionally, physically and it drives me crazy! I try to explain  the way that i feel to my family,friends and DOCTOR . My memory is not that well from all the meds and operations and it seems like some of the only things I remember the best are the bad things that happen to me like seizures ,arguments and meaningless things. But as you ,Victoria and the other person describe these experiences hit the nail right on the head exactly how they make me feel. . .before ,during and after these seizures happen. Just last week I had a gastronomical stomach flu (24 hour virus) ,I could'nt stop throwing up and there was know way i was going to hold down next dose of meds ,so I went to the hospital emergency room. While I was sitting in the waiting room I kept going into these hallucinations,they felt like I was being kissed by the Gods,as you explain it. I felt overwelming sensations that felt like god was letting me know that he was right there next to me while I was seizing. He was telling me to not to be so mad all the time ,and that he was keeping an eye on me. I'm Roman Catholic ,but I don't pratice my faith alot . . .go to church. I take alot of meds 2000 mgs Keppra 2x day- 900 mgs Trileptal 2x day - .5 mgs klonopin @ bedtime and 20 mgs Lexapro(anti depressant). 

These medications got me a wreck sometimes ,I break down into tears sometimes fall on the ground and cant stop crying. I'm very easily aggitated ,say cruel things and even throw things in outrage , just all around depressed an emotional wreck. I noticed that one of you are from the UK and the other is from California. I smoke marijuana in the late afternoon ,later in the evening and just before bed. 1 to 1.5 grams daily. Its not legal where I live in Ohio,but it helps me cope with they way these meds got me depressed. altogether it helps me keep a smile on my face and I don't think I abuse it . My family does though ,all of the sudden that is? They are trying to blame my recent seizures and my attitude on my "HABIT".They always were aware of my smoking MJ and never gave me a problem about it before because I told them it helps me deal with these meds and I feel alot better ,emotionally and I just know I won't have a seizure when I'm smoking, I feel so relaxed and  mj has been proven to have anti-convulsant properties. But anyways thanks for the info you provided me with describing these seizures that you experience, that helps me alot better to know that I'm not alone when it comes to this complex life that we live . But if you want to chime in and leave your opinion my issue with my family and the marijuana use. My doctor told me when the state of Ohio passes the law for medical marijuana like 15 other states in the U.S. already have for people that have seizures due to epilepsy. Then he would give me a perscription. Because if marijuana was a seizure trigger he said I would be having alot more seizures than I do already. . . alot more!  

 I've been reading the posts on the topic that you mentioned ,estatic seizures. I'm 35 years old and have temporal lobe epilepsy. My seizures are somewhat controlled . . .but not that great. I have had right temporal resection that mostly was a success for my tonic clonic szs. My left temporal still is damaged. This all came from Encephtylitis (viral) back in 02. I've experienced just about every type of seizure that there was...throughout all these years. But just recently back in February I had a status attack, that was smple part.-complex partial & tonic clonic. I was found face first in the carpet , blood all over my forehead then was picked up by an ambulance brought to a hospital , the attack lasted over 5 hours. The doctors gave me 11 mgs of ativan, but was still having small episodes for 2 days straight while under monitoring. It took me 5 days to finally realize where I was at and then they released me to go home. I usually remember alot about they way these seizures make me feal emotionally, physically and it drives me crazy! I try to explain  the way that i feel to my family,friends and DOCTOR . My memory is not that well from all the meds and operations and it seems like some of the only things I remember the best are the bad things that happen to me like seizures ,arguments and meaningless things. But as you ,Victoria and the other person describe these experiences hit the nail right on the head exactly how they make me feel. . .before ,during and after these seizures happen. Just last week I had a gastronomical stomach flu (24 hour virus) ,I could'nt stop throwing up and there was know way i was going to hold down next dose of meds ,so I went to the hospital emergency room. While I was sitting in the waiting room I kept going into these hallucinations,they felt like I was being kissed by the Gods,as you explain it. I felt overwelming sensations that felt like god was letting me know that he was right there next to me while I was seizing. He was telling me to not to be so mad all the time ,and that he was keeping an eye on me. I'm Roman Catholic ,but I don't pratice my faith alot . . .go to church. I take alot of meds 2000 mgs Keppra 2x day- 900 mgs Trileptal 2x day - .5 mgs klonopin @ bedtime and 20 mgs Lexapro(anti depressant). 

These medications got me a wreck sometimes ,I break down into tears sometimes fall on the ground and cant stop crying. I'm very easily aggitated ,say cruel things and even throw things in outrage , just all around depressed an emotional wreck. I noticed that one of you are from the UK and the other is from California. I smoke marijuana in the late afternoon ,later in the evening and just before bed. 1 to 1.5 grams daily. Its not legal where I live in Ohio,but it helps me cope with they way these meds got me depressed. altogether it helps me keep a smile on my face and I don't think I abuse it . My family does though ,all of the sudden that is? They are trying to blame my recent seizures and my attitude on my "HABIT".They always were aware of my smoking MJ and never gave me a problem about it before because I told them it helps me deal with these meds and I feel alot better ,emotionally and I just know I won't have a seizure when I'm smoking, I feel so relaxed and  mj has been proven to have anti-convulsant properties. But anyways thanks for the info you provided me with describing these seizures that you experience, that helps me alot better to know that I'm not alone when it comes to this complex life that we live . But if you want to chime in and leave your opinion my issue with my family and the marijuana use. My doctor told me when the state of Ohio passes the law for medical marijuana like 15 other states in the U.S. already have for people that have seizures due to epilepsy. Then he would give me a perscription. Because if marijuana was a seizure trigger he said I would be having alot more seizures than I do already. . . alot more!  

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