Let's go back 25 years. A beautiful Easter morning, and all I was going to do this morning was get up and go to church. I was at my parent's home for the weekend, since I was already on my own with a career in the airlines. I had been feeling "strange" occassionally, and thought that if I were to sleep more, I would get over these strange sensations. (Little did I know at that time that I was experiencing complex partial seizures). On this particular morning back in 1980, I had just stepped out of the shower and as I did I started feeling "strange" again, so I sat on the bathroom floor for several minutes, I estimate, and thought I was fine. However, when I stood up, I was overcome with a strange sensation again. The next thing I remember is being in a flight for life helicopter. I had just experienced my first grand mal seizure in the bathroom and as I fell I somehow struck the hot water and lie in the bathtub for who knows how long with hot water flowing out on my back and arm. I suffered 2nd and 3rd degree burns and was in the hospital for 2 months, and was put on Dilantin for the seizures. That was just the beginning.

I was married and my husband landed a job in Memphis, TN. Two years later we then had our first child, and I was experiencing a complex partial seizure on occassion. I had another child three years after that. But when my youngest was only a toddler, the complex partial seizures started occuring more frequently(4-5 a day) and more intense.

In 1990, after trying several medications, I was sent to a neurosurgeon,who suggested brain surgery. After thinking long and hard, and numerous tests, (WADA, strip electrodes placed on the surface of the brain to locate where the seizures were coming from) I decided to have a left temporal lobectomy. But to no avail. The seizures were back after only 14 months, not just complex partial, but CP and generalized seizures along with serious depression (now diagnosed as bipolar) and migraines. Now what? More testing, only to find out I could end up like an Alzheimer patient if I were to have another brain surgery. More anti-seizure meds.

For 6 years I was a walking pharmacy and zombie. Then, in 1998 I had heard of a device called the vagus nerve stimulator and decided it was worth a try. After all, seizures beget seizures. Initially, the treatment was successful. I then started having nocturnal seizures, instead of seizures during the day. As time went on, I started having CP seizures during the day again, along with nocturnal generalized seizures. I've tried numerous drugs, had the VNS settings changed numerous times, to no avail. I hear now that there is more hope on the way, with new treatments on the horizon. It's so miserable having to find rides, since my husband travels for his job and I had no family living close. In addition to the transportation problems,when the kids were younger, would think their mother was dying when I was having a bad seizure.

My greatest challenge since the brain surgery is dealing with the memory loss AND the depression. I had never been so depressed in my life!! I've been diagnosed as bipolar now,(not to mention the female problems, dyslexia from the brain surgery, and now diabetes,due to just one medication to treat the bipolar disorder). With the memory loss,I had to learn to write everything down and have things repeated to me several times. I often ask myself if the brain surgery was worth it, since I came out with more problems than I went in with! Life is much more of a challenge now, since I have diabetes and epilepsy and bipolar. What a surreal experience! I am trying to educate people. Never say NEVER!! It could be you!

I'm inspired by the ones I have seen who have to wear helmets because of their seizures. I can see how it can be.

I would like people to know that epilepsy can happen to them or loved ones, so we need to keep raising money to find a cure.