Russell (Age 11)

My name is Russell. I have a really hard time concentrating in school all day. I can do fine for a while, but then I lose my patience and can't concentrate. Then I get really angry with myself. I have even told people to just shoot me and get it over with.

It doesn't bother me to take medicine every day. That is just something I've been doing since I can remember. I know I'm tired every day, and when it gets too bad I take a nap.

Kids at school can be pretty mean at times. I've heard them say "don't go near him-you'll have a seizure." I'm lucky to have a little sister who sticks up for me!

My teachers help me with my seizures, but they still make me work too hard sometimes.

I can tell you that before a seizure sometimes I get this fuzzy or tingling feeling in my feet. All I remember about having a seizure is being out of breath. When one is over, I'm glad it's done and I am super tired and I go to sleep.

When I was having "drop attacks" I felt really clumsy. I thought everyone was looking at me. I also got hurt a lot. Once I fell into a barbed-wire fence and cut my forehead. Another time I fell on my sister's bike as I was walking by it and her kickstand scraped my whole side. That was painful. My knees were always scuffed up, and my hands hurt from falling on them, too.

If you ask me if I feel different from the other kids, the answer is yes and no. I feel like anyone else, but sometimes my head isn't clear and I feel like I can't do anything as well as anyone else can. I feel like I want to do something, but the brain power just isn't there.

Being the Winning Kid for a year was the best year of my life. I got to meet our governor. I dedicated books on epilepsy to our local library. I was the Master of Ceremony at a 50s and 60s dance for the Epilepsy Center. I judged a helmet awareness poster contest and gave speeches at school about my disorder. I also participated in Summer Stroll walks and helped raise money to go toward research for epilepsy.

I'd like people to know: you can't catch epilepsy. Everyone should learn more about it so that each person can be more supportive of people who have this disorder. I'm also hoping we find out more about what causes epilepsy and what we can do to make it easier for people like me who have it.

Epilepsy is something I just put up with every day-sort of like my little sister!

The Brainstorms Family: Epilepsy on Our Terms edited by Steven C. Schachter, M.D.,Georgia D. Montouris, M.D., John M. Pellock, M.D., Raven Press, 1996, Lippincott Williams & Wilkins