The relationship between an older and younger sibling can be described as protector and protectee. As an older sister, I naturally stepped into this role when my younger sister, Julie, was born 14 years ago. Although I did not realize it when I was younger, she needed more "protection" than I ever would have imagined. She has epilepsy and cerebral palsy, and her physical limitations and seizures forced Julie to lean on others for support. Although I naturally filled the role of a supportive older sister, it is only now that I realize how many barriers Julie broke to become as mature and independent as she is.

Although people who have epilepsy usually perceive it as a limitation, a barrier, or another obstacle, learning to cope with epilepsy helped Julie develop a sense of personal responsibility and self-awareness that she may not have had otherwise. I am only 20 months older than she, and so I have spent my whole life witnessing the effects of epilepsy. I have seen Julie grow as a girl, a student, and a friend, and I have seen at every step how her physical weaknesses and her seizures affect her daily. I now realize Julie's immense growth and development, in spite of the problems that epilepsy has caused.

School is a very important part of life for a girl Julie's age, and her epilepsy and its indirect consequences have adversely affected both her and her relationships. The strong seizure medicines that Julie took to control her seizures when she was younger may have contributed to, or even caused, her learning disabilities, which forced Julie to attend a school specializing in learning disabilities. Epilepsy most affects Julie at school if she begins to have a seizure there. The few tonic-clonic ("grand mal") seizures that she had at school scared her classmates and worried many of them. Most of these children knew nothing about epilepsy and did not understand what caused her to shake. Friends at school did not ostracize or belittle Julie for her seizures, but relations with her classmates were strained because she appeared "different." Luckily, the faculty at her school is understanding and her friends are supportive. Many students at Julie's school have experience with disabilities: they all have learning disabilities, and many others have physical problems.

Although epilepsy creates problems for Julie, her need to cope with it has taught her personal responsibility and self-awareness. She has recently begun to take responsibility for administering her own seizure medicines: she remembers (and often reminds the rest of the family!) when she must take them. Numerous changes of medicine and dosage make it difficult to recall her current regimen, but Julie has taken full responsibility for knowing exactly what medicines she should take and when she should take them. Because her cerebral palsy has weakened the right side of her body (including the hand she needs to take her pills), it used to be difficult for Julie to take her medicine by herself. She has gotten stronger, though, and recently started taking the pills on her own. With her growing self-awareness, Julie has begun to recognize her auras; this is extremely important, because she can warn my parents or me that she is about to have a seizure. We can give her medications to stop the seizure in the beginning and prevent a large tonic-clonic seizure. I am so proud of Julie, who has tried constantly and has succeeded in not becoming dependent on us.

Rather than concentrating on the activities in which she cannot participate, Julie constantly involves herself in activities that are safe for her and help her develop both physically and socially. She skis every year with the same instructor from "Challenge Aspen," a ski program for children and adults with disabilities. At this program, she has the benefit of one-on-one interaction with an experienced instructor who has worked extensively with children who have both mild and severe disabilities. Julie is more confident each day on the slopes. For the second year, Julie has just left for sleep-away camp in Maine. This camp is such an important step towards independence for Julie; she makes a fresh start with friends who do not know she has epilepsy. She becomes entirely responsible for herself. She participates in activities that she enjoys, like arts and crafts, drawing, painting, and even non-competitive sports. At camp, she again takes responsibility for her medicines by going to the nurse when it is time to take them. These experiences are so wonderful for her because she becomes more independent physically and socially each time she puts on her skis in Aspen, practices her lines for a play at camp, dances to 'N Sync in her room, or swims in the pool.

Life is not easy for people with epilepsy because its effects are not only physical. To understand how difficult their lives can be, we must realize the stigma that comes with seizures. Children and adults with epilepsy need to be strong to endure a physical disorder with such harsh social consequences. This is a struggle that they should not go through alone. As Julie's sister and as Julie's friend, I understand how important support must be to her. Within our family circle (our family and our close friends), we try to always learn more and try to understand when Julie may have a seizure. She is lucky to have the support of people who understand her condition, which allows her to function well among people who do not. Her activities with people experienced in dealing with people with disabilities (such as her skiing instructor) balance with her experience with those who do not know about epilepsy (including children at camp and school). Her medicines help control her physical symptoms, but it has been the support of her family and friends that has helped Julie control her life.

Julie has not let a disorder that can be both physically and emotionally debilitating destroy her dreams. She does not worry about whether she will have a seizure in school; she worries about whether she will finish her homework before bedtime. She does not worry about whether epilepsy will interfere with her choice of profession; she thinks how hard it will be to decide between being a teacher, a veterinarian, or a dentist. Julie is my hero.