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Archangel

School

Here's my story :

 When I was about 18 months old, I started having seizures, and the doctor's never knew why I was having them, and as time went on, I started getting head - aches that usually had me in the nurses office mostly everyday until the Doctor's finally gave me some medicine when they figured  out what I was having.

 They gave me three different types of medicine, but they made my seizures progressively worse and finally one worked, I didn't have seizures often, and life was good.

 But when I grew older, my seizure's came back worse then ever, and it made my life hell because I was taunted and teased throughout Elementary School and Middle School and I was known as the girl who had "Seizures" and everyone made sure to stay away from me because they thought I had some sort of disease or something.

I admit, these past experiences have made me not want to have friends, because I've made friends in the past that just made my situation worse because I made bad choices in friends, or trusting them way too fast because of the fact that someone was actually talking to me.

My parents and I eventually moved to Washington to take care of my grandmother who's too old to be alone by herself, and I went through the rest of my Middle School life without a care because no one knew I had seizures except the teachers, I still got bullied though, but it was for different reasons.

I still have troubles accepting people into my life because of my past experiences of people letting me down when I tell them I have a seizure disorder, a fear of being rejected because of something I can't help, and a fear that I'll choose the wrong people.

My mom say's I should start making friends because she's says I'm isolating myself and that I'm staying in a little box to protect myself, and is that so bad?

Please Reply Back

                               - Archangel

Comments

Re: School

Here is my pespective,

 I do not know how old you are, anything about the type of school you are in, etc. But...

There will be people that treat you as a friend and be there to help you when you need it- only disclose your epilepsy when you feel comfortable

 

There will be people that will be your friend -nothing else, even if you disclose your epilepsy in a crisis they might walk away (both literally and not literally...they may not be able to deal with the crisis and watch you deal with it all on your own...I had a friend that couldnt handle it, he could at the begining but eventually couldnt...I would have to call for emergency help FOR MYSELF when I was a block...get on emergency meds out, etc...then he would walk the other way if he knew i was going to be ok or someone else was looking after me. Its not their fault, thjey just cand deal it

Others may make fun of you for telling them 

 

Education is the key. I dont know what kind of seizures you have, or how frequent, etc but show people its not bad, not to be scared, etc and how to handle a seizure (whatever kind and each kind properly -that each seizure type is handled differently. You might have to keep it up like I have been doing. But its the best way to get the message across...you dont want help unless asked make that clear. I have to and it still doesnt work at college then I get thown into a wheelchair, sometimes thown out (a big show is made...the last time that happend a few days after when I was doing a presentation the person there that was representing the responders to medical incidents said "but you said I dont want  you" ...I tried explaining I dont remember what happens in these seizures...he didnt get it and is suposed to be highly trained in first aid

Re: School

You definitely need to be more social.  I went through a few years of being a recluse cause my memory was so bad that I got tired of not remembering who people were--and I regret it now.  I missed out on stuff. 

I have a kinda unorthodox view on friends.  Most people are just acquaintances to me--we've had to have a pretty good and active relationship to be what I consider to be friends.  Theres a lot of people I wouldnt want to be friends with anyway, I'd rather keep them an acquaintance (if even that) and spend my time with the real good friends.  As far as how to make them, I've found that me being less judgemental and accepting of other peoples differences has been helpful.  Dont consciously strive to be friends with the people you would like to know or whatever.  If it happens that okay, just dont strive to be friends with a person in particular.  Those friends that you make arent going to have a problem with you having a sz problem.  Actually, they'll probably care for you more, meaning be there for you when you have one.

Good luck to you.

Re: School

I can relate. Elementary school wasn't fun for me either. I'm 17. The kids in elementary school made fun of me, never wanted to sit next to me, and never invited me to their birthday parties. I had the same feelings "Why can't anyone see past my disorder?" I found out though that being social helps your cause. The less you do, the less they know about you, and at some point they will think of you as "the girl with seizures" because THEY WON'T KNOW ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT YOU!

I developed some trust issues as well. This girl that was my only friend in middle school, lied to me about the seizures I experienced in class. Anyway, most of the kids I know now don't even care because the conversation never comes up.

I realize you're feeling alot of social anxiety right now( again, I can REALLY relate), but being social only helps your cause. The less they know about you, the more prominent the seizures become. So, get out there. You really have nothing to lose if they already think this way about you. It will only help your cause.

Re: School

hi I completely understand what you have gone thru I had my 1st seizure at 14 and was bullied even before that for other reasons but it got even worse and all I remember is coming home and crying alot cause of the mean things ppl would say or the people that I thought were my friends would say things like ur not going to freak out on us if we hang out or things like that and I went thru relationships were guys would make fun of me for it until I found someone who cared about me and works with me with our son. but I did the same where I cut ppl out of my life and I realized that it was there problem not mine and I couldnt help it and I would tell ppl after I became comfortable with them I realized some people are always going to disappoint you but if they dont like you for who you are its their loss and remember who you are is special and anyone that gets to be friends with you is lucky

Re: School

Hey I've had epilepsy since I was 4 and Im 15 now, but I know how you feel. Teachers used to freak out when I told them and pay me special attention and one PE teacher even refused to let me do any physical activity at all even though Im perfectly physically capable. And my classmates used to laugh at me, said my brain was diseased,etc and really mean things like that, and that I couldn't possibly be smarter than them.

But I just worked harder to prove them wrong, show them Im as capable if not more capable than the rest of them. Im the captain of a sports team now, and I got into the best girls school in Singapore based on my results. Point is, don't be discouraged because people look down on you. Just work harder, make friends, and most importantly, earn people's respect. It's easier for people to look past epilepsy then... And I guess over time you'll realize it isn't really a disease, just a condition. And don't let this condition bring you down, or inhibit you from doing what you want.

Even now people still give me that "oh i pity you" or "stay away from me" look and I hate it. And I suppose the stereotype is never going to go away, but you can change people's perception about epilepsy by showing them these people can be as capable as them too. Just last friday a classmate of mine told me she was creeped out by epileptic people when they foam from the mouth and start spazzing on the floor. Irony is, she and most of my classmates don't know about my condition, so she didn't know she was speaking to one of those "spazzing on the floor" people. I told her afterwards, and I think she changed her mind about people with epilepsy.

Wish you the best:)

-Izzy