I had a tonic-clonic seizure the other morning, during which I was conscious. I was coming out of a dream like state, in which I'd noticed my inability to speak, and by the feeling of the contortion occuring within the muscles of my face and neck, I realized, as I lay there, that I was undergoing a seizure. I remained calm, knowing that it would pass. It struck me that it was not ending, and I could not get air. I struggled to, but it was not possible; I struggled to move and break out of it, as it were. My girlfriend was sleeping next to me, and as I started heaving for the lack of oxygen, (I guess that's what happens: Your body sort of starts to twitch as you try to gasp for air, but the passage is blocked [that's what it felt like anyway]) I tried to make her aware of the fact that I could not breath. It wasn't possible.
I could not intelligible talk or shout for that matter, the only sound I could muster must have been some wild moaning. As I further struggeld to breath, and knew that I would not be able to gesticulate or convey with words that I was suffocating (that's what it felt like at least), I jumped (hey I could move!) out of bed, cleared the desk of pens, and to my frustration I could not find one that I knew would work. I finally grabbed a highlighter and a paper, all while my girlfriend was telling me to calm down, which made it more frustrating, because the goal was really to stir up some panic, really. I hurried out of the room, to the living room table, started to write, and I realized, that I was breathing. It was just that my body was screaming for air, and I felt like I was still suffocating. This is the second time I've been conscious, or atleast remember the progression of the seizure. I'm quite irate afterwards, out of frustration.
I usually have around 5 partial/complex-partial w/e you call them seizures a day (I go blank, can't talk, goosebumps -- still conscious though)
My memory is horrid.
I'm on keppra.
I've had an EEG done, which was fine. Two CT scans which were fine.
This was probably the 6th tonic-clonic this year. (Only started the previous year, as far as I know, as they're usually nocturnal)
What are these? Pseudoseizures? Hypoglemic seizures? Is this even epileptic? According neurologists I am.
I am usually dubious of doctors' diagnoses, I like a more eclectic one.
Don't know if that is all, I forget. (a lot)