I'm newly diagnosed with epilepsy. Its Februrary, and I first started having seizures was in June. I have complex partial seizures, and haven't been able to be seizure free for more than a month. I've tried Lamictal, but I had an allergic reaction. Then I tried Keppra which made me fret often, but controls the seizures until I skip a single dose. Then I'll have a cluster for a week, and I have around 4 a day. I tried dual therapy with topamax which was a horrible mistake. Im on 4000 miligrams a day of Keppra then trying topamax made me completely loopy. I felt like I was on drugs and couldnt remember anything. And it gave me acne so I got off of that quickly!
Heres the real question. Does anyone ever want to have seizures? It will be four weeks tomorrow since I have had a seizure, but I feel like there is so much pressure that I just need to have a seizure to release some tension. I don't have the feel good type of seizures. It hurts physically and mentally but I still find myself feeling the need to have one. Does this happen to anyone else?