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some advantages of epilepsy

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I thought when I came on-line today that I might post a great big WHINGE (don't trust my neurologist, meds not working so great, fed up with people who don't have epilepsy saying really stupid and unhelpful things to people who do have epilepsy, etc.) In fact, I may still post my whinge later.

I know there are a lot of 'downers' about this illness, and I hope no one will think I am being too lighthearted or ridiculous here. But I've been thinking a lot recently about some good things about epilepsy, and I wanted to list a few of them to make myself feel better. . . Please add any you can think of!

1. You can do things like bark at the moon (see the last entry from Spiz!) and for the most part no one will find this particularly strange or out of character. A lot of people think that epilepsy is really a mental illness anyway. I find that I can do things that might get a 'normal' person locked up. "It's just my temporal lobe acting up again. Sorry."

2. Depending on what kind of epilepsy you have, you might get to feel like you're on drugs even when you're not. I spoke to my neurologist about this recently. He said, "How have you been feeling?" I said, "You know, somewhere between having dropped some acid and having snorted two grams of cocaine. Oh, and now and again it feels like I'm on Ecstasy with the lights floating around the room." "Well, dear me," he said, "I think maybe we should up the dosage of Depakote that you're taking." And I said, "What? You want me to take more drugs so that I feel like I'm not on drugs??! You might think I'm being funny, but WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" It just sort of goes against all of my natural instincts.

3. Further to the above about feeling like you've taken lots of amphetamines. . . sometimes you can get so much done! I've been having a bad week in terms of auras, but over the last two days I have: been to a gazillion shops all over Rio and done ALL my Christmas shopping; made a Christmas tree and lots of decorations; wrote 5,000 words of a novel; cleaned my entire house, including children's bedrooms that were hidden under piles of toys and clothes; written five letters and all my Christmas cards; finished all the tasks I had to do at work FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. And just at the moment I feel like I may never need to go to sleep again.

4. IT MAKES YOU SO CREATIVE. This is the best bit for me. I want to make things! I want to paint some rooms! I want to write another three novels! It's even made me feel a bit happier about some of the more mundane things, like cooking.

Any more?

Kristyn

Comments

Re: some advantages of epilepsy

Hi Kristyn, you're absolutely right, I'm on your line too - can be so creative that I get scared sometimes! I've got TLE and, was only diagnosed just 3 - 4 yrs ago, several tests concluded my brian haemohrage as probably since childhood. Although, I only began experiencing complex partial seizures around 4 - 5 yrs ago, which later developed/deteriorated to include grandmal fits. I can agree with the doctors, as my parents confirmed the likelihood cause of heamohrage, that as a child I often banged my head against walls whenever I cried and, loved crying. You can imagine what I deliberately did to myself unknowingly, massive damage probably.

(i)
Well amongst my siblings, they reckon that I'm perhaps the most creative, though previously troublesome and very hard to manage! I've also recently discovered the possibility of connection between early brain damage - later developments of creativity. I wonder if you're aware of the belief that St. Paul, prophet Mohammed, and many other renowned personalities had this disease, that epilepsy was known in the past as the sacred disease?

(ii)
For me, the problems I had growing-up, was I hardly took instructions nor was I able to learn at colleges, actually I dreaded going to school! So I won't say that I had any formal education, but later when I'd dropped out, then I got inspirations and developed the technique of self-teaching. From nothing/scratch, couldn't read nor write properly, with just GOD/JAH-CHRIST inspiration now to a Mr. almost know it all. Music - performing artist, song writings, poetry, multi instrumentalist, visual artist, IT specialist and every household job, building and decorations; horti-culturalist, - waoh what a hell - and oh, almost forgot, I used to be a womaniser before I got married and, divorced but, don't fancy going back to womanising.

(iii)
What I have discovered in my few yrs of epileptic life experience, is if you continue to follow the meds like a sheep, they may one day lead you stright to the slaughter house! "I think we should up your dosage", that's exactly what they did to me, following them as a sheep until I fell almost flat-dead! A scene which some neighbours had to assist before taken to the hospital, and several tests plus a review of my medications indicated over - over dose. A professor neurologist, who is also an expert in diseases of the brian had discribed that dosage as equal to someone taking a whole bottle of whisky at a go!!! What? Even that info itself was a knock-out blow to me, knowing that I was on such ridiculous dasage for over 3-months! When it eventually knocked me out, waoh, that hell of experience, you can't get any worst than that and, it's hard to describe accurately. It's similar to the agony of having been held down deep under water, when you're desperately struggling for precious air without success and, so unbearable that the only thing you then wish for is death! But death was nowhere to be found in that never ending hell of experience. Since then I gave up on all medications, better die by epilepsy/fits than by the medicines to control it - and now I feel so good by myself, utilising the same creativity here!

So Kristyn, I will hang-up for now, though others who have no epilepsy can sometimes try to make you feel meserable, I'm now buiding up a tough resistance to that. When you're not wrong, everything is alright!

Re: some advantages of epilepsy

Hi Kristyn, just found this site last night and have read many life stories. Nice to know that I'm not the only one. Have had seizures for 20 years and I like your #1. I have used that a few times when I had no other rational. I'll think a bit, I may beable to add to your list. Thanks