I thought when I came on-line today that I might post a great big WHINGE (don't trust my neurologist, meds not working so great, fed up with people who don't have epilepsy saying really stupid and unhelpful things to people who do have epilepsy, etc.) In fact, I may still post my whinge later.
I know there are a lot of 'downers' about this illness, and I hope no one will think I am being too lighthearted or ridiculous here. But I've been thinking a lot recently about some good things about epilepsy, and I wanted to list a few of them to make myself feel better. . . Please add any you can think of!
1. You can do things like bark at the moon (see the last entry from Spiz!) and for the most part no one will find this particularly strange or out of character. A lot of people think that epilepsy is really a mental illness anyway. I find that I can do things that might get a 'normal' person locked up. "It's just my temporal lobe acting up again. Sorry."
2. Depending on what kind of epilepsy you have, you might get to feel like you're on drugs even when you're not. I spoke to my neurologist about this recently. He said, "How have you been feeling?" I said, "You know, somewhere between having dropped some acid and having snorted two grams of cocaine. Oh, and now and again it feels like I'm on Ecstasy with the lights floating around the room." "Well, dear me," he said, "I think maybe we should up the dosage of Depakote that you're taking." And I said, "What? You want me to take more drugs so that I feel like I'm not on drugs??! You might think I'm being funny, but WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" It just sort of goes against all of my natural instincts.
3. Further to the above about feeling like you've taken lots of amphetamines. . . sometimes you can get so much done! I've been having a bad week in terms of auras, but over the last two days I have: been to a gazillion shops all over Rio and done ALL my Christmas shopping; made a Christmas tree and lots of decorations; wrote 5,000 words of a novel; cleaned my entire house, including children's bedrooms that were hidden under piles of toys and clothes; written five letters and all my Christmas cards; finished all the tasks I had to do at work FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. And just at the moment I feel like I may never need to go to sleep again.
4. IT MAKES YOU SO CREATIVE. This is the best bit for me. I want to make things! I want to paint some rooms! I want to write another three novels! It's even made me feel a bit happier about some of the more mundane things, like cooking.