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aramir50

Living almost a year in fear

Hello there.  I'm new to this, my therapist just introduced me to this site.  I need a little assurance and I'm hoping someone can give it to me.  When I was 4-years-old, I was physically assaulted by a man my mother dated and had a Traumatic Brain Injury due to the damage he caused me.  After the numerous surguries and my stroke, I was able to go back home before turning 5 but suffered with focal and grand mal seizures.  My doctors placed me on Carbamazepine to help control the seizures and I was weened off of the med a year later.  This year, a month before my 20th birthday, I had my first focal seizure in 14 1/2 years.  Because of this, I saw two neurologists to help me deal with migraines and the seizure.  Unfortunately, a lot more was going on with me hormonally and mentally.  Two weeks after my birthday (*note* I had 7 more focal seizures after that) I had a grand mal seizure and while I was released from the hospital that same night, I still chose to drop all of my spring courses at DePaul and also decided to not work or take a course this summer. That same week, I was diagnosed with sporadic epilepsy and was placed on the Carbamazepine again. In just a couple weeks, school starts back up and my doctors have told me that I'm okay to go back.  I'm scared about going back and it didn't help that my mom called the disability center today expressing a concern for appropriate medical interventions should I have a seizure in any of my classes this coming quarter (taking 3 classes Mon-Thurs).  How can I assure myself that I'm ready? Ever since that traumatizing night on May 19th, I've shrunk and felt more and more like a child who needs someone by her side every second.  I'm even terrified about taking the bus and train alone!  I'm a sophomore.  I should be a junior.  My future just seems bleak now and I don't know how I can graduate with my masters in secondary education by the time I'm 24.  Yes, I've been published 6 times and I've even taught young people how to create a work of art with the good/bad experiences they've had.  This summer was empty for me and I'm just scared about what will get thrown at me in each of these classes.