Hi my name is Aliza and I actually just found this this website I have grand mals ( tonic clonic)and they are pretty controlled until recently I've had epilepsy for for 10 years and I'm 32 now. . I had one while home alone with my 4 year old daughter alone in February . This one was especially cofussing for me. I woke up and had no idea what was going on. Someone is usually always there to tell me that I have had one. It took me almost 45 minutes to figure it out after my daughter kept asking me why I was puking on the carpet. We got over this one . The next one happened on May 7. Again I was alone with her. I was making supper waiting for husband to get home from work and I had one. I woke up in my husbands arms covered in blood and my kid was flipping out out. My front teeth were broken. I landed flat on my face and took a chunk out of hardwood floor. Went to the hospital and they sent me home a few hours later. I was fine a few days later, my daughter seemed fine then I had another one a few days after that. That's when all the emotional stuff stared for me. Ive had another EEG and my epilepsy has changed. I've developed anxiety and mild depression .i take 1000 mg carbamazepine a day , I've been taking them for years . Now I'm taking 100 mg of topamax. I've been taking them for just over a month. I find they make me extremely tired and feeling very dumb. I'm also taking celexa 10 mg for depression and weaning off of Ativan . Way to much medication for someone. Anyway I'm very afraid to be alone in my home . I have not worked in over a month. I'm on sick leave. I'm seeing a psychologist , but I'm very impatient and all this stuff cost so much money it's rediculous. I want my life back. I'm a chef and I can't even cook anymore. I feel I'm getting better slowly but it's very slowly . I'm so scared of having another seizure . My daughter has also been acting out a lot since all of this has happened . Any advice?anyone taking topamax? How long do the side affects last?