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Doctor won't diagnose epilepsy despite multiple seizures

I am 35 and about 2 years ago was seen having a seizure in the middle of the night.  Once I learned about the different types of seizures I realized I have been having random episodes for years, and did not know they were seizures. I had many grand mals during sleep and would wake up with a bloody, bitten tongue, and a hurt shoulder from sticking my arm out very hard, but never knew it until my fiancee (who is a nurse) saw it.  I also have simple partials now and again where I feel weird, freeze up and stare for 30-40 seconds and then feel very tired for a day or so.  After having 4 seizures in one day (all witnessed by her) we went to the ER and I was put on Keppra.  An MRI showed extra scar tissue on one side of my brain which is assumed to be a lesion caused by spinal meningitis when I was a baby, also causing me to be deaf in my left ear.  This seems to make perfect sense as I have had these sensations for years.  I had some medicinal side effects of my mind slowing down and causing staring, slowness, and depression for days at a time. I was eventually moved to Vimpat, then Lamictal, and the doses were raised and lowered.  

2 video EEG's, 3 days then 5 days, did not show any seizures or odd electrical activity.  They were ready to do surgery to remove the lesion if the EEG had shown it was all in one spot.  Now the neurologist is saying he doesn't think I am even epileptic at all since the EEG's didn't show any odd activity.  I have also been seeing a psychiatrist, who has me on Lexapro for possible depression.  I lost my job partly due to all the time I missed due to this stuff, and the high stress it could have been causing.  The neurologist told me to "get a job," to help keep this off my mind (though I had a job through all the previous stuff).  Also told me to not be dependent on medicine as that would be bad for the rest of my life, and that everyone has problems, and I am probably not epileptic since the EEG did not show any odd activity, and even if I didn't have a seizure while hooked up to it, there should have been different than normal activity."  Needless to say I won't be back to that office, other than to get prescription refills.  Not sure why I am still on Lamictal if I am not epileptic and since then I have had at least 2 simple seizures while awake that have kept me asleep for almost a day at a time.  If they aren't seizures what could they be?????? I have seen another Neurologist who is skeptical of those findings but can't really do much more without an EEG reading, which I have no desire to do, staying hooked up to wires for days at a time in a hospital.  Anyone have any suggestions for similar experiences?  At this point I guess I have to stay on the medicine (Vimpat stopped more seizures but had worse side effects), and live with it, being knocked out for a day or two every few weeks.  It's gonna be hard to find a job this way, but I'm not sure what else to do....