After 5 years on Lithium for bipolar disorder (it helped my depression and anxiety but not my general mental weirdness), I was placed on Lamotrogine and became depressed and psychotic.  When I came off the Lamotrogine, I started experiencing all sorts of strange feelings and have not been able to keep my thoughts straight except for a short period on Gabapentin and Luvox and a short period on Ativan and Ritalin.

Looming over my head are experiences during imaging and EEG testing-I had an out of body experience during one MRI, became euphoric and laughed uncontrollably under strobe light.  Last week I had another euphoric spell halfway into the imaging.  More profound to me are the states I experienced after the testing-weird mood changes, almost schizophrenic type thoughts, extreme hunger and exhuberance.  Other stuff sticks in my mind: my hands getting stuck in weird positions, crawling bug sensations across my limbs, my body stiffening for no reason, amnesia.  I've had mental weirdness all my life but never anything like what I've experienced over the past year.  My whole body seems in on the act now.    

I saw my neuropsychiatrist for the second time this past week and he said I was not 'just plain nuts'.  He summarized my internal experience succinctly and put it bluntly that my reasoning and affect don't match up like they should.  I don't disagree.  For as long as I can remember I have suffered this kind of depersonalization: my reasoning making everything meaningless, while my feelings scream the exact opposite.  He suspects epilepsy and is recommending intracranial electrode exploration because MRIs are clean, EEG was normal and ambulatoy EEG yielded no results, yet I have all these Epileptic symptoms.

Should I let them drill holes in my head?