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UPDATED: Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:47pm
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So I have a question. I am having more and more of the big seizures (grand mals or whatever people are calling them these days). I am having them about 1 a month. I am 20, in college, living on my own in a house i am remodeling, I have a job and I am happy. After my last seizure, my mom came and got me. Then, she planned all these other Dr. Appts for me, the only problem is I already left my co-workers out to dry last night when I had the seizure and I am not about to do it again. I need like a few hours of notice. Now, my mom is hysterically crying and saying I don't care about my life and that i'm gonna die. What do you guys think? What should I do? I don't want my mom to control my life but I'm 20 and I want to do my own thing without being rude. Oh by the way, I am my mom's first child. Thanks. Anna
By speedy... at Mon, 03/02/2009 - 7:47pm | 99 views | 7 comments
Topic: Families & Friends
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Recent Comments on this Discussion
hi. i know how you feel. its almost like your parents want to wrap you up in cotton wool and protect you 24/7. but that is not the case, and they are going to have to accept that soon as well. you are not a child any more, but an adult, and must live your own life. epilepsy wil always be part of your life, whether its controlled or not, but if you dont let it rule your life and try and have as normal a life as possible, you wil be fine. dont worry-you wil get thro college. i got thro school having at least 2 a month, although nowdays i am having roughly 1 a month. dont let it effect your job. if your colleagues and boss are ok with it, then just tell them that all they need to do is help you if you have one without calling the ambulance, and when they know what to do, you wil get along better. they must also try to understand the consequences surrounding it, like tiredness after a seizure....
try and calm your mother down. having epilepsy is not the end of the world, and certainly not a death threat. but she is your mother and it is only natural for her to be that worried about you;especially as you are her eldest child. sit down and talk to her. explain what you want to do, and that your epilepsy doesnt prevent you fulfilling your goals, but is only a glitch now and again that pops up to disappoint....
i have a few questions for you. how long have you had epilepsy? what meds are you on? are you under a neurologist? if you are seeing a neurologist and he is content with your progress, then your mother shouldnt be so worried about you, and let you live your life.
hope this helps.
Candice
Hi!
I'm so sorry about the increase in seizures lately! As the parent of a teen with epilepsy, what you're describing is one of things that concerns me about Rachel being independent in just a few years.
I know it's going to be hard to make that break with her, and the worry will always be there. If you know that you are taking your meds the way you should, and making sure you get enough sleep, etc. then I would say a trip to the neuro is definitely in order.
I agree that you should try and make appts. around the other responsibilities in your life, but I also think that managing your epilepsy should be a top priority. The sooner you can regain control, the better your quality of life, and the less your Mom has to worry (and nag) about.:)
Kelly-Mom to 14 year old artist, and Invader Zim fangrrl, Rachel. Rachel has partial seizures, with sec. generalization. She takes Keppra and Trileptal, has a VNS, and is on the LGIT.
Thanks for the help Kelly. The other reason that I am having such a hard time following what my mom says is because we are taking a "new route." I had been on Depakote for five years and things were getting to a point where my Dr. told me(straight up and honest) Anna, there's really nothing else we can do but give you the depakote...since I had tried a number of other meds. So, my family said screw western meds they wont help anyway, and we are trying a homeopathic route. Problem is, it isn't as simple as just taking 2 depakote pills a day...and I am both forgetfull and stubborn so confusing plans and me clash. Thanks a bunch though and good luck to Rachel!!!
Anna, thanks for the good wishes! We'll take all we can get.:)
I hope your new course of action works out for you, and I hope you continue to blog your experience with it, so we can all learn something.
I'd be interested to know what it is you're trying. As shown in my siggie below, we've added Low Glycemic Index Therapy, which is quite homeopathic, and I'll be adding Omega 3 supplements for Rachel soon, as well. I've been hearing good things about Omega 3's and seizure control, so I hope it's beneficial.
Kelly-Mom to 14 year old artist, and Invader Zim fangrrl, Rachel. Rachel has partial seizures, with sec. generalization. She takes Keppra and Trileptal, has a VNS, and is on the LGIT.
I'm not really sure what exactly I'm on. The homeopathic people I see are Craig Alcone and Sara McCoy...my mom and I call them the voodoo doctors. Craig does muscle testing to ask my body "what it needs." He puts me on a "program" of vitamin-like supplements. Through him we found out that I had Candida and a TON of grief/pride/intolerence issues. He says that if you can't heal it on all lvls then you won't be fully healed. Sara does wholistic blueprint healing, kind of like a weird massage therapist. It's really strange, I know, and very hard to believe at first. It's hard to explain and I know it's a long shot to believe. The only thing I can say is that when I started having seizures (13 years) my pupils dialate enormously. The DRs said it was due to the valproate but, when I came off the depakote a few months ago my pupils didn't go back to normal (they were ALWAYS huge, never constricted), so, when I came out of Sara's yesterday...MY pupils were tiny!!!! It was amazing!!! Anyway, good luck with Kelly, don't be too afraid to try weird stuff. Oh yeah, I was on omega 3 for my hair falling out for a while, it worked pretty well for that. Good luck!
hi anna, parents point of view, and patient point of view. I hope that will be of help. parents wants complete control. (they say that is not the case) It is. They want you to be safe. You want to have your life your way. understandable. the solution is in the details. maybe the doctor appointments would not be a bad idea, if it is worked around your work schedule. it may mean changing medications. That would give some for your mom. What you get is giving respect and validating the worry, but at the same time insisting on your independence. you can also give them some comfort that you will call them if you have a problem. That is the polite way. You are still allowed to have your own life. That said make smart decisions. From the way you write i would say that you have the ability to do so. I have to deal with a similar problem. Only it is my wife that wants complete control. compromise on somethings. my life, my way. my decision, my responsibility.
hope it helps. rikk
Great advice. i hope it helps. for me too.