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Struggles...

Wed, 05/18/2016 - 00:57
Grrr! Ive had seizures for a years, since I was 13 or 14 and I am now 19. Having epilepsy throughout my teens and especially throughout highschool was extremely hard. I got really shy and insecure after I started having them. They have gotten better (Knock on wood) but they still happen, especially absence seizures. Because of this I now have so much anxiety over everything, stupid stuff. Before my seizures I was a lot more outgoing than I am now. One of the major issues I am facing right now is university. For one the cost! Thankfully my parents paid for my first year but I am going to need to get a job for second year. However I am so insecure and scared of what someone would think if I had a seizure in front of them I cant. Because of this my parents are pissed and they don't understand why I wouldn't want to get a job. Also socially, I want to be able to go out to parties with friends and drink and not have to worry about having a seizure. The fact that I'm 19 and I'm unable to drive is pretty shitty as well. I try to think positively, like it could be a lot worse than it is, but it is hard and sometimes all it takes to help is letting out what you have been holding inside of you. Talking to someone feels so good, but finding someone to listen can be hard. We'll see how this goes!

Comments

WelcomeSo you started having

Submitted by just_joe on Thu, 2016-05-19 - 18:16
WelcomeSo you started having seizures about the same time as I did. Yup it wasn't easy being in school and having a seizure. But I found a way to deal with it and still did what I wanted. You still have seizures especially absence seizures.. hmm I had focal seizures which look like absence seizures. I also had focal seizures that would generalize which meant they would go into other types of seizures. Some simple partial. Others comples partial. Then Others would look like grand mal (tonic-clonic). Those are the ones I had in school. Why do oyu have anxeity over everything? You had seizures and you know you had seizures. or is it you are afraid of what people would think if you had one when they were around? A major issue facing you os now college.College is a schooland in some ways but not all it is much like High School. You go to classes listen to the professor. read ant take tests and write essays and take exams. Oh the cost thing. Yup it ain't cheap. Well you do have one advantage I didn't have. Your parents have paid for your first year and want you to get a job to help cover your next year. So whats so hard about getting a job??? Get one part time jobs are available. The connselors at the colleges can help you get courses and other things because you have a disability. Now for your socially.... You are 19 and it sucks not driving. Agreed it does suck. But after having epilepsy for 5-6 years you would have found out how to get around without one. I went to all linds of places while in high school and never drove. I went to parties and dances and never drove. I took out my dates and never drove. Times were different but it still took planing. Proms and dances were double dates.My friend drove.hey we split the bill and I covered the gas or something else. We made it equal in one way or another. One way was I fixed his engine.. Now when I was 21 and older I did go out with friends. We drank at the bars an clubs and most of the people around didn't know anything about my epilepsy. those that did knew I limited my drinking to 1 drink. As did the bartenders. So when someone ordered drinks the bartenders knew mine needed to be alcohol free. Mine looked like everybody elses. Basically it was the same drink without alcohol. We had a ball and were at many bars until closing times. Relax some and use common sense there are people like me that still have seizures and have never driven. Just so you'll know I was diagnosed in the early 1960's and have had epilepsy and seizures for 50+ years. Mine today last a few seconds and even my PC didn't know I had one in his office.I hope this helps and gives you some ideasJoe

seizures for years starting 5

Submitted by just_joe on Fri, 2016-05-20 - 10:52
seizures for years starting 5-6 years ago.. I know what it was like having them in jr and high school. I was having them about 2 years before the diagnosis. You did what you shouldn't have done. becoming shy and insecure lets epilepsy control you rather then accepting it and taking control of you life.  Your seizures still happen and most are absence (petite mal) seizures.  The cost of a college education has always been there. Your parents have gotten you started. When I went there were no student loans much less a credit or debit care. Your parents want you to get aa job. Again insecurity of having a seizure because you are afraid of having one and what people might think. Have you ever thought of what other people go thru daily? Have you ever thought about a way to help get better control of your seizures rather then worrying about having one while out? Think and write down why you wouldn't want a job. Then write down why you are going to college.Socially.... AHHH the big one Being 19 and not able to drive. YAH it sucks. But then you are not th only person not able to drive. Do people in wheel cahirs drive? Do blind people drive? Do people in wheel chairs  and blind people work and go to college? Going to parties and dances with friends can be done. I did it in high school and I never drove. I did it in college. I had my own apartment my senior year and in college. I rode a bus to the depot and walked a little over a mile to get to college.  walked back to the depot to get home. I had to do it fast because at that time of night the last bus leaving the depot was the one I had to catch. Going to bars and clubs was a blast and yes I did it with friends. A couple of them knew I had seizures and they knew I limited my alcoholic intake. All the places we went had bar tenders and they were informed that my alcoholic intake needed to be limited to 1 alcoholic drink in a 4 hour span. Oh but thats not a lot. True it isn't and there are reasons. alcohol works against the medications enough to cause a break thru seizure. So taking your meds properly and limiting your alcohol will let you go out and have fun and be with friends.I had a drink at the table or in my hand when i was out. My first drink had alcohol. all the others didn't. They looked like everybody elses so few people knew it wasn't just like theirs. Yes at times all it takes is letting things out. It also takes accepting epilepsy as it is and moving on by not letting epilepsy control your life. I look at epilepsy differently. your life is a sand timer.and the sand trickles thru. a seizure lasts a few grains of sand. How many grains of sand does it take in a day? who many grains of sand do your seizures use in a week? A  month? figure that out then look at all the other grains of sand your life has. For me I will go about my business doing the things I want to do and let the sand get shuffled under my feet rather then letting the sand keep hitting me on my head slowing me down because of the weight because epilepsy would be controlling me rather then me controlling it.I hope this helpsJoe

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