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Epilepsy and college..

Fri, 11/19/2004 - 10:47

I'm going to college in a month.  Although I am a commuter student, I'm scared of how I'm going to handle college.  See, I was absent..a lot in high school when I was diagnosed with epilepsy.  I had about 5 seizures over the course of my senior year and a lot of traumatic things happened to me which made me feel really down and hurt my grades a bit-for instance, not being able to drive. 

 I'm supposed to find out this week if i can finally drive again..oh how I love the New Jersey DMV...heh obviously sarcasm there.  Anyway, I'm panicing about everything.  I'm scared I'm gonna crack up when I get the work load which I know is going to be hell.  I'm scared if I don't get my license back before september I wont be able to drive and my mom will have to drive me which will be really embarrassing and upset me a great deal.  I've been waiting since September.

 I've been in such a depression all summer..I haven't even left my room and I barely talk to my friends anymore or go out with them when they invite me places.  The last thing I wanna do is go back to school..college no less where I won't know my way around, dont know about the teachers or how much work I'll have to deal with, and I don't know a soul there and see I'm a really shy person and every year since I was little I've cried on the first day of school.  I know that's pathetic since I'm 18 now but it always happens. 

I quit my job when I got epilepsy and lately I was trying to get another job but now my mom and dad dont want me to cuz we got my schedule for college and it's ridiculous..I wont have time for anything much less a job. 

 So basically I'm really losing it...I'm so scared and alone and upset and I just wanna run away and never come out of my room or something..I dont even wanna go to college..in fact my mom and I thought about not sending me for a year b/c of the epilepsy and the driving situation..God if any of you have been through this I beg you please respond!!!!!!!!  I need support more than ever, God I just need something to hold on to..

Comments

RE: Epilepsy and college..

Submitted by Ragnarz on Thu, 2004-07-29 - 13:09
Been there and have gone through all of the same. But, I didn't put my life on hold or decide not to go to college. Obviously, you passed high school and have been accepted to a college, even after 5 seizures and lossing your driving privilage. Personally, I'd feel embarrassed if, I didn't go on to college and at least try. There have been a great number of people throughout history who've had diabilities and have done great things. If, you are going to get your DL back in Sept. that means you've been seizure free for at least a year. ( NJ Law requires you to be seizure free for one year before you can have your driving privilege reinstated.)Right!? Everybody gets scared whether they have epilepsy or not! But, It's up to you to confront your fear and deal with it.
What do you plan to major in at college? Just curious.

RE: RE: Epilepsy and college..

Submitted by Galinda on Thu, 2004-07-29 - 14:58

Well since I had seizures after the first one in September I'd actually have to wait till January if I don't get it back in the 6 month term..which would have been last month if the dmv got back to us.   Anyway, I don't want to put my life on hold..I guess it's just tempting when life just gets too hard and it's just really hard to keep going on.  I'm going regardless, I'm just scared about how I'm going to react and really what's going to happen.  My mom's a nurse and she said stress can bring on a seizure..and I like hyperventilate every year on the first day of school..and this isn't grade school anymore...this is college. 

 Aside from all that, I'm majoring in English but I'm actually thinking about law.  This whole driver's license "mandatory reporting law" is very unfair.  It goes against patient doctor confidentiality and most states don't have that law...ah leave it to NJ.  I did all this research on it just to learn more about why they made this law and why so many other states outlawed it. 

Anyway, I'm minoring in music.  I have trained at the westminster choir conservatory and have been working on my voice for 5 years.  I sing classical, opera music mostly cuz my range is more comfortable there than in a lower pop kinda voice..although I still enjoy singing that kind of music too.  I've been singing since I was little but didn't start taking lessons till 8th grade.  I love it, in fact I almost went to the Westminster Choir College but my teacher and my mom changed my mind since having a BA in music isn't going to open as many doors as a BA in English for instance.  I still think about going there though. 

Sorry I kinda rambled but I figured I'd give u an explanation bout my bitterness towards the dmv and why I was so depressed and all.  Thanks for responding. 

Well since I had seizures after the first one in September I'd actually have to wait till January if I don't get it back in the 6 month term..which would have been last month if the dmv got back to us.   Anyway, I don't want to put my life on hold..I guess it's just tempting when life just gets too hard and it's just really hard to keep going on.  I'm going regardless, I'm just scared about how I'm going to react and really what's going to happen.  My mom's a nurse and she said stress can bring on a seizure..and I like hyperventilate every year on the first day of school..and this isn't grade school anymore...this is college. 

 Aside from all that, I'm majoring in English but I'm actually thinking about law.  This whole driver's license "mandatory reporting law" is very unfair.  It goes against patient doctor confidentiality and most states don't have that law...ah leave it to NJ.  I did all this research on it just to learn more about why they made this law and why so many other states outlawed it. 

Anyway, I'm minoring in music.  I have trained at the westminster choir conservatory and have been working on my voice for 5 years.  I sing classical, opera music mostly cuz my range is more comfortable there than in a lower pop kinda voice..although I still enjoy singing that kind of music too.  I've been singing since I was little but didn't start taking lessons till 8th grade.  I love it, in fact I almost went to the Westminster Choir College but my teacher and my mom changed my mind since having a BA in music isn't going to open as many doors as a BA in English for instance.  I still think about going there though. 

Sorry I kinda rambled but I figured I'd give u an explanation bout my bitterness towards the dmv and why I was so depressed and all.  Thanks for responding. 

RE: RE: Epilepsy and college..

Submitted by eghawk on Fri, 2004-07-30 - 19:34
I went through the same thing. I started having grand mal seizures during my sophomore year at UCSD. I'm not going to say it was easy because it wasn't and I had a hard time with some of my professors but everything worked out and I graduated. If this is something you really want to do you have to do it and not be afraid of the consequences. Most schools also have people who can help you if problems arise so that is one of the first things to look into. Just talk to an admissions counselor and they should be able to direct you in the right direction.I had seizures that were induced by stress during finals and other times of the school year and I was forced to reschedule tests and in some cases I had to retake a class. I currently have a grand mal seizure every couple of weeks and this has gotten worse since I started having epilepsy. I have been accepted to graduate school to get a Ph.D. in pharmacology and now I have to put it all aside to get more tests done and try and figure out what is going on. I am glad to hear that you are going to continue your education and do the things that you want to do. As for the driving and the friends' thing, yes I know exactly how you feel. I live in California and we are dependant on our cars so that was hard on me and I still can't drive but you'll just have to rely on people and other forms of transportation. I haven't driven for a year and I still have my car and I refuse to sell it. I also told my friends that I have epilepsy and what to do if I have a seizure. It is one of the hardest things to do but once done you can get back to living your life. Just let them know that there are things that you can and cannot do. Anyway, I'm rambling but I have gone through exactly what you are and I am still dealing with it. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. P.S. A note from my girlfriend, we have been dating since before this all began:Your letter was all too familiar. You touch on a lot of topics that we have been through. The first serious point is your depression, you seem to have a lot of signs that my boyfriend went through. It may seem manageable to you, but consider seeking advice from a professional. They can point out things you have closed yourself from seeing or dealing with. Don't isolate yourself, it's very important to learn how your friends and family can be there for you. The right psychiatrist can be informative not only with the depression, but how your meds affect you as well. School counselors can help you get around any professors that aren't helpful enough. Finally, stress can be manageable, but you need the right tools and you'll be successful. I wish you the best of luck, your hard work can and will pay off, just remember that you are allowed to ask for help.

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