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It's been a long year!

Fri, 08/17/2007 - 12:30
It's been a year today since my daughter fell off a stool at a garage sale and went into full convulsions. I look back and remember that sickening feeling watching the ambulance cart my only daughter off. From that moment our lives were forever changed. Courtney and I haven't weathered this storm very well until the last few months. I was so bitter that this would happen to my child, my family...my life. DAmn was I selfish!!! This IS Courtney's life! What was I thinking? Where right did I have thinking "poor me"????? I had so many questions and no answers from doctors, God, family. Nothing I could control. Being a control freak lol- this turned my life as well as Courtney's...upside down. Now- To better days, The main fight Courtney and I have is her drivers license- I have explained in great detail the dangers to others as well as herself. SHe's so angry! I have told her that not matter what, we will not let epilepsy control our lives but the reality of it is ...it does. I have sat and watch this great, beautiful daughter of mine grow and try to accept this. She will get there. She will have the best life has to offer her. It is my responsibity to see that she thinks positive about life. I have made sure that i tell her EVERYDAY how thankful I am for HER. I'm told not to baby her but I choose to. I dont' want her to go one minute in a day not feeling loved or cared for. Kaitlyn's mom- if your reading this- I hope you are doing well today and that your frustration is subsiding. I dont' think we ever fully accept the fact our daughters have these issues but that it is what the tears are for...they create some peace for a moment. Life is good! ABout the time I think I've got it bad, I remind myself that there are others who are alot worse off than I. I really want to get involved and educate others about epilepsy. There can be sucha stigma and I refuse to let that influence my daughter. ANy suggestions- Anyone???-------------Jayna

Comments

Re: It's been a long year!

Submitted by kaitlynsmom on Fri, 2007-08-17 - 13:22
Jayna, Thank you so much!! I can't even find the words right now. When I started reading it, I started to tear up just with the thought of it all. And the fact that lately I have come to realize that this is about Kaitlyn... not me, not us... just her. Thank you for thinking about me. I was surprised as I was reading this that you were thinking about me/us. I am trying hard to get over the frustration and come to terms with it for Kaitlyn's sake. I know that this is not the end of the world by any means and I feel horrible for ever thinking that it was. I hope that you all are doing well today... thanks again, you really made my day!! Take care! Emily

Re: Re: It's been a long year!

Submitted by jayenmontana on Fri, 2007-08-17 - 16:11
Emily- Odd as this sounds- A few weeks ago when i signed up on this site, I had read thru many blogs hoping to find someone who was at the same spot I was...Then there was you! I shed a few tears that day because I could see how painful and hard this all was for you .On that day...I didn't feel quite so alone. I just wanted you to know that I DO think of you and Kaitlin often. I believe that there will be alot of high and lows with this. BUT There is a reason she has this and there is a reason she is alive and full of life. I truely believe that children that have these kind of challenges develop an empathy for others that we will never understand. These kids become magnetic-Healers in their own right-You watch Kaitlin! She's headed for greatness! She's magic!!!! My personal email is jayenmontana@yahoocom.---------------Jayna

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