Community Forum Archive
The Epilepsy Community Forums are closed, and the information is archived. The content in this section may not be current or apply to all situations. In addition, forum questions and responses include information and content that has been generated by epilepsy community members. This content is not moderated. The information on these pages should not be substituted for medical advice from a healthcare provider. Experiences with epilepsy can vary greatly on an individual basis. Please contact your doctor or medical team if you have any questions about your situation. For more information, learn about epilepsy or visit our resources section.
domesticgododess
Tue, 10/24/2006 - 19:52Topic: New to Epilepsy.com
What are our alternatives? My daughter will be 15 next week and the VEEG they ran last week says she's still having petit mal seizures, and they don't recommend her getting a driver's permit. She blinks her eyes for 1-2 seconds, and never has passed out completely. I have seen kids without epilepsy who don't have her attention span.
talk about losing your independence before it's begun...this is horrible.
Comments
Ouch. A mother expressing
Submitted by ekoorb on Tue, 2006-10-24 - 23:01
Ouch. A mother expressing frustation for her child does not mean she should be attacked. Yes, as mothers of children with E, we can't understand everything because we don't go through it. That is why we rely on well educated, well informed adults like yourself who have gone through this first hand to help us better understand. That is part of the reason for these forums.
The suggestion that she does not accept her child's E is nowhere in her thread. She can vent. I would feel sad for a child as well if I had a 15 year old who was told she could not learn to drive like her peers. That would not mean I don't accept the E, but rather just that I feel her pain.
As to her suggestion that it is unfair that her child can't drive because she only stares of 1 to 2 seconds, I understand your response because that could be dangerous but maybe explain why and point her toward information (as I believe I have seen you do in so many response when you try to help people) instead of insulting her.
I am not trying to attack you but I have read so many of your threads and you always seem very informed and very caring and this response was not in the same vain.
Hi ekoorb, Thank you. Truth
Submitted by solis on Wed, 2006-10-25 - 02:25
Hi ekoorb,
Thank you.
Truth be told, I said only exactly what I would say to any friend who came to me with those words. But, rereading it, I realize you are correct. Without voice infelections, it can come accross as angry and NOT nice.
Apologies domesticgoddess,
I had no want to hurt.
Your daughter is still young and one or two years delay in driving is far better than risking losing her. Plus. today there are far more meds than when I was her age, so she is lucky.
Of those with E, 75% are perfectly controlled via meds and live normal lives.
And know I wish your daughter the best of luck.
Btw..I had a 'momentary' blackout while driving (almost) 3 years ago, after over 10 years of complete control. (I had developed a tolerance to the meds..another story).
The result.. I drove though a stop sign, over a normally busy street, and into a garage on the front, to the side of a house.
The car was demolished, airbags exploded, and I'm lucky to be alive (and that I didn't kill anyone) to be here typing.
I wouldn't want anyone to go though that misery.
That seizure was very brief also.
~sol
Hi :) First off, your term
Submitted by solis on Tue, 2006-10-24 - 21:31
Hi :) First off, your term 'petit mal' has been replaced by absence seizures. The reason is petite mal describesd what others see, whereas 'absence seizures' describes the situation via what the patient experiences. As one who has grown up with seizures, I have lived via being unable to drive when my friends all received their licence. (I drove for the first time when I was over 40) And, no matter how well intentioned a mother is, a non-epilepstic is only able to judge via what they 'see', so has a very limited understanding of what a person with E actually goes though. What you 'see' is not the entire experience of having epilepsy.. it is only the tip of the iceberg. So, you can continue to vent about your daughter's inability to drive or you can read as much as possible on epilepsy.com, learn to understand epilepsy, and recognize it is completely impractical and risky for one who loses even temporary control to be behind the wheel of a car. You also need to learn to accept epilepsy, as there are far worse medical situations, and as one who's been there, my bet is your daughter is already emotionally affected by the epilepsy, she does NOT need to cope with your non acceptance. ~sol