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Can't deny TLE any longer

Tue, 11/14/2006 - 16:40
I just turned 36 a few months ago and must now accept that I have TLE. My first recognizable seizure (the first that I know about definitively) came in January 2005 following a few very stress filled months and several aura episodes. I awoke (quite disoriented) following a complex partial seizure in the middle of the night to two paramedics and one very unnerved wife. A few weeks later, I had another strong aura and black-out episode early one morning. At this point we opted for the EEG and MRI, both of which showed nothing of merit. The neurologist felt we should at least try a regimen of Lamictal and monitor the situation. After toying with the dose to eliminate the aura aftershocks, and after about a year without any symptoms, we slowly backed off the medication altogether. All has been fine for the past 6 months until last week. I had two very slight auras (mild deja vu, mild odor/taste) during the prior two weeks, but I naturally denied them. They intensified last Monday and Tuesday, and I warned my wife. As was expected, I had another complex partial overnight in my sleep. Hello TLE; hello Lamictal; hello MRI. I have always been a workaholic, an overachiever, slightly obsessive/compulsive, very intense, and prone to bouts of anxiety. Throughout my life I have habitually ground my teeth both while asleep and awake (to the point that I have crowns and extensive bridge work from the dentist) I have also been known by my friends and family to "zone out" on occasion. I assumed that everyone had these experiences; I now know that waking with a "chewed up tongue" and sore gums is not exactly normal. I come from a family steeped in the healthcare industry (doctors, nurses, and I am in the medical sales business), and we are not supposed to get sick or accept weakness. I am a little unnerved by this sudden realization that I do (most likely) have TLE, and a little angry that I didn't address all these symptoms much earlier in my life. I have two small children and a very sympathetic wife that will have to endure this with me, and I just wish I had been managing this sooner. I have not really spoken with anyone about this, so this blog has made me feel a bit better already. Fortunately, the Lamictal works for me with little to no negative side effects. The positive is that I seem to gain some anti-anxiety effect from this medication. I am continuing with work and personal life as if nothing has changed, and I guess it really hasn't changed-I just have a name to put with some of the abnormal feelings I've always experienced. Thanks for reading.

Comments

Re: Can't deny TLE any longer

Submitted by tcrn on Tue, 2006-11-14 - 21:17
I am in a very similar situation. I am 31 years old and am/was? a NICU RN. I have always had issues with anxiety and have struggled with depression for the last 5 years. I have been diagnosed with an "obsessive compulsive personality" (not the disorder - whatever that means). I grind my teeth horribly at night and am heading toward crowns. I have chewed through many dental mouth guards and I also cleanch my teeth durning the day. I have even had the pleasure of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder type II (least severe type) last year since I kept going to the doctor with odd sensory complaints and changes in mood. I had frequent deja vu, would feel suddenly disorented, feel very down all of a sudden and I was always very tired. I would also get very dizzy, forget words and had horrible short term memory. The weird thing about it was that all of my symptoms seem to come and go. It wasn't until I had a "classic" partial seizure (foul odor followed by dizziness, a brief blackout & fall, followed by exhaustion)that someone decided to do an EEG and MRI. Both were abnormal. I couldn't believe that I couldn't see it! I'm a nurse!!! However, the most frustrating part in that so far 3 neurologist have not been able to get past the "bipolar" diagnosis and treat me for the seizures - even though I have sound medical evidence that I am having seizures. To this date I have had 2 abnormal MRI's and 2 abmormal EEG's and my psychiatrist has revised my diagnosis to depression due to an organic medical issue (ie. seizures and the lesions on my brain). Truely, 3 neurologist have told me that my symptoms are due to the "bipolar disorder" (which in actuality doesn't exist) with the medical evidence to the contrary in there hands. It's insane. But one of them did take me off work because he agreed that I wasn't safe to handle fragle newborn infants in my condition - I just don't get it. However next week I am going through a VEEG with an epileptologist(sp?) - my 4th neuro. We'll see what happens after that. Anyway - our situation sounded so similar that I felt that I had to share because I too believe that I have TLE. It is awesome that you have been able to stay working and that lamictal has worked for you. A supportive family is truely a blessing. They make all the difference. I hope that things continue to go well for you. Your situation is an inspiration.

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