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About to see a doctor

Wed, 06/10/2015 - 23:26

I'm going to see a doctor, but I'd like to think I'm not a hypochondriac before I go next week.

Four years ago, I had a severe (what I thought) mental break down. I would get fits of sudden and severe panic or fear, would feel as if something was watching me at home, and would hear voices or music. I really thought I was going crazy. I saw a psychiatrist and a therapist immediately. I was diagnosed with bipolar one, since my mother is currently bipolar one. I was placed on Depakote and Seroquel. 

The seroquel didn't help at all at any dose. I started to experience facial tics and gained a massive amount of weight (over fifty pounds in three months). I felt like my psychiatrist and therapist weren't listening to my concerns, and searched for new ones. My new doctors immediately took me off of the Seroquel; they felt I had dissociative disorder and possible PTSD due to childhood issues and what I experienced in the military. Even though the seroquel didn't work, the depakote did, though they eventually took me off of that too due to the weight gain.

I eventually moved, as some of my issues were stress related (cheating ex husbands will do that). I've felt great and didn't need anything further; I felt most of my issues were resolved. 

 

Long story short, I'm starting to wonder if I raced to a therapist and psychiatrist too quickly. I've been reading stories where temporal lobe seizures seems to be the culprit. In the last four years, my memory issues are getting worse. I'll be trying to explain something and just can't find the word for it (like fridge - I'll explain it as the thing with a door that holds food because I can't get the word out). It's enfuriating and embarrassing, and it's a frequent occurance. I'll also get very odd feelings of de ja vu. Since I was a child I've experienced strange stomach pains and nasuea that no doctor could pin point; my parents used to call me the pharmacy girl do to all the pills I would take for a stomach issue that had no origin. I've had quite a few seizures that were due to high fevers as a child. I get incredibly intense headaches behind my eyes and in my left temple, and some that are just generally toward the sides and back. I've been diagnosed as having cluster headaches. Sometimes, and I don't know if anyone else can sympathize, but I'll smell 'cold' - it's as if I've stepped outside into freezing temperatures and breathed deeply through my nose, but I'm in a warm environment and shouldn't be experiencing it. I've had incredibly intense bouts of sleep paralysis (this occured the most frequently during those few weeks where I thought I was losing my mind) all my life, though they've recently petered off a bit. I'm very depersonalized and sometimes it's as if I'll 'come back'; the world will seem brighter, I'll feel more 'alive', I'll be momentarilly very happy, and then it's as if I can 'feel' myself pull away without meaning to. Heck, I'd love to keep that feeling forever, but I can't. The feeling of being about to cry are the worst. They come out of nowhere, for no discernible reason that I can tell, and then are gone. 

Are these some things people with Temporal Lobe Seizures go through, or any seizures goes through? When I look up symptoms, they seem right and they all kind of go together. I made an appointment begrudgingly with a neurologist. This isn't a diagnosis I would want, considering I would lose my liscense and I am the sole bread winner in my family. Being unable to get to work (I live where there is almost no public transportation) would put my daughter and I on the street almost immediately since we live paycheck to paycheck. But, if it will help me be more aware, better able to remember the important things, and keep my daughter safe (it's just her and I; if something happens to me...) then it needs to be done.

 

Anywho, do you all experience these types of things? Thanks in advance, and it's a pleasure to meet you all.

Comments

Those are some similar signs

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 2015-06-11 - 16:54
Those are some similar signs of Temporal Lobe Epilepsy for sure. I have strong deja vu symptoms with panic followed by vomiting. I also do have memory issues. The hippocampus is located in the temporal lobe so memory problems are very common with TLE patients. Unfortunately memory loss is also a side effect to some AEDs. My memory has not been the same since I started having seizures. A neurologist is a good idea for you. If depakote worked, that is also a sign that it is epileptic in nature. A neuro can help you sort it out. As far as the driving goes, each state is different. I did not have to give up my license when I was diagnosed with TLE. I have never had a grand mal (tonic-clonic). If I do have one, I would be reported and would lose my license then. I made the decision to stop driving whenever I have a medicine change but I am not "Required" to do that. I just do it out of safety. I have 3 young kids who are always with me and I just can't risk it- but that was purely a personal decision.  You would have to check with your state DOT but most likely your Neuro will know the answer to the driving. Best of luck to you at your appt! I think seeing a neuro is a good place to figure this out!

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