What is going on here (with me)?

I had a tonic-clonic seizure the other morning, during which I was conscious. I was coming out of a dream like state, in which I'd noticed my inability to speak, and by the feeling of the contortion occuring within the muscles of my face and neck, I realized, as I lay there, that I was undergoing a seizure. I remained calm, knowing that it would pass. It struck me that it was not ending, and I could not get air. I struggled to, but it was not possible; I struggled to move and break out of it, as it were. My girlfriend was sleeping next to me, and as I started heaving for the lack of oxygen, (I guess that's what happens: Your body sort of starts to twitch as you try to gasp for air, but the passage is blocked [that's what it felt like anyway]) I tried to make her aware of the fact that I could not breath. It wasn't possible.

I could not intelligible talk or shout for that matter, the only sound I could muster must have been some wild moaning. As I further struggeld to breath, and knew that I would not be able to gesticulate or convey with words that I was suffocating (that's what it felt like at least), I jumped (hey I could move!) out of bed, cleared the desk of pens, and to my frustration I could not find one that I knew would work. I finally grabbed a highlighter and a paper, all while my girlfriend was telling me to calm down, which made it  more frustrating, because the goal was really to stir up some panic, really. I hurried out of the room, to the living room table, started to write, and I realized, that I was breathing. It was just that my body was screaming for air, and I felt like I was still suffocating. This is the second time I've been conscious, or atleast remember the progression of the seizure. I'm quite irate afterwards, out of frustration. 

I usually have around 5 partial/complex-partial w/e you call them seizures a day (I go blank, can't talk, goosebumps -- still conscious though)

My memory is horrid. 

I'm on keppra.

I've had an EEG done, which was fine. Two CT scans which were fine. 

This was probably the 6th tonic-clonic this year. (Only started the previous year, as far as I know, as they're usually nocturnal)


What are these? Pseudoseizures? Hypoglemic seizures? Is this even epileptic? According neurologists I am.


I am usually dubious of doctors' diagnoses, I like a more eclectic one. 


Don't know if that is all, I forget. (a lot)


Re: What is going on here (with me)?

With that tonic clonic seizure you experienced the other morning, during which when you were conscious, you were obviously aware of what was going on, but apparently your "subconscious mind" was still in post-ictal confusion; or, the area(s) inside your brain that controls your ability to breathe, speak clearly, move, etc., was still experiencing seizure-like activity. My recommendation is to notify your neurologist about what you experienced, so he or she can make a decision on what to do next, in hopes of what you experienced not to reoccur.

Bruce (I'm not a doctor, but instead, an epilepsy support group leader, epilepsy advocate, who has epilepsy.)