Medicine and depression...

It's a Saturday night. It's my birthday. I am alone and sitting on my computer drinking green tea. Green tea for my health, ha!

I don't even know where to start. Epilepsy and Depression are very common together I am learning. My seizures are uncontrolled and I have been on at least a dozen AED's to try to stop the seizures. With most of the medications I become extremely depressed. In a recent appointment with my neurologist, he stated that is was hard to tell whether the depression was from the meds or something else because it is the same side effect with different medication.

I get what he is saying. The depression could possibly be from the agony of dealing with unknown of what the day might hold for someone with Epilepsy. God knows there are many factors that contribute to the stress of a person with Epilepsy. The fear of having a seizure at any moment of the day interferes with work, school, travel, family... Financial burdens are a big problem after the cost of medical care and the lack of work available.... This amount of stress could make anyone depressed.

But I have this nagging little question that won't go away...... Is it a result of the medications. And if it is a result of the medication, isn't adding more medication to fix the problems caused by the medications just asking for trouble? And would I be better off not taking the medication and keeping an emergency dose on hand while controlling the medication with a safer alternative? Has anyone been able to control there seizures without medication? I would love any words of advice.

Thank you for your time.