Long Term Lamictal Use and Side Effects

Neck*

I've been on Lamictal for 8 years (no seizure since) and have just recently changed to Keppra due to side effects. I suffered severe acne and my memory is getting low. 

I've used Lamictal for 13 years - for 12 years I thought about suicide and taking my own life every hour of every day - I planned how I'd do it, made lists of the music I wanted played at my funeral, pondered different ways, gassing myself in the car (use a vacuum cleaner hose) crashing my motorcycle into a tree, over a cliff, into an oncoming car. many times I would sit there with 120 codeine tablets in my hand and just think who would I hurt, who would even care, what I could do with my cat and dog - and on and on - in 2013 a friend died so I attempted suicide in the local park where we used to feed the ducks. I ate 100 codeine tablets and filmed my self as I went over. People found me and called an ambulance. The ambulance people had already picked me up off the footpath after 2 seizures so assumed this was another seizure. Later I told them what I had done and I was sent to the local psychiatric hospital for 'evaluation - they said - youre exhausted (I had just started my own business) and take a holiday. 21/2 years later I closed the business and moved to my home town. I went to , avery cool, doctor who told me - this Lamotrigine is bad! it causes suicidal thoughts and I see from your records youve attempted suicide' we changed my drug to Levetricatm - sorry cant spell it, but its a new drug. I had a huge 'rebound' seizure, fell backwards and crushed my sacrum - tailbone. It still hurts now - lots of nerve damage and I'll never sit properly for the rest of my life. I just add it to all the other injuries my epileprosy has given me! . .amputated right leg from a seizure on my motorcycle in 1981, crushed fingers, cheekbones, missing teeth - on and on it goes.. anyway, I went back on the Lamictal and am still on it now. Ive found since I know its not ME having the suicaidal thoughts - its the drug - I've been OK. I'm 59 this saturday and have had epileprosy since I was 10 years old. Its totally ruined my life - relationships, jobs, friendships - and on it goes. My father was an abusive brute of a man who beat/humiliated/scorned me and so much more from the age of 3 years. Lovely man - - and I became epileptic. Thanks Dad. So - if you have epilepsy be careful of this drug, Lamotrigine. Its evil shit. The ONLY thing thats helped me for 49 years is cannabis. Without pot I'd be dead 100 times over. So Mother Nature has kept me alive.And I reccomend it whole heartedly to others with this evil affliction.