Trying to explain

Thanks for allowing me to join you... my 7 year old daughter's epilepsy has evolved to epileptic encephalopathy and she is having well over 100 clinical and sub-clinical generalized seizures per day now. We have been unsuccessful with 11 meds at this point (her most recent med trial seemed to positively affect her visible seizures, but the side effects were so bad that we had to withdraw the med before we got to 25% of her goal dose). She is not a candidate for the ketogenic diet, and VNS, while discussed briefly in a couple of settings, has never been formally offered as a management option. My question is this - in conversation with her grandfather yesterday, I was asked "what is the big deal? It is not like she is convulsing... they aren't affecting her". She is developmentally delayed and has multiple seizure types (primarily generalized presenting as behaviour arrest, myoclonic and POS with secondary generalization). How can I explain that 1) less "obvious" seizures, even when brief, still have a significant detrimental effect, and 2) epileptic encephalopathy, regardless of seizure type, is generally not something a parent wants to hear - let alone justify to nay-sayers? I had a "prominent epileptologist" tell me her episodes were pseudoseizures when she was only a year old. As a result of this sweeping declaration, I spent no shortage of time doubting myself and minimizing her symptoms. To have things progress from that point to where we are now admittedly has affected me, and not in a positive and uplifting way, either...