False memories?

Why do you believe their is no way she was molested? Because her hymen was intact? Because the doctor says their is no abnormal flora? Did you talk to her doctor about what she told you because if you did I am suprised nothing more was done. Whatever happened your daughter believes something happened whether it is seizure related or true and you really need to support her either way because in her mind she is telling the truth either way and probably really scared either way. Imagine what she is going through and forget about your husbands feelings for just a minute.

I am a parent of an adult epilepsy patient... however we never knew that she was born with epilepsy as all the seizures she apparently suffered were sleep or trance seizure up until recently... however a few years ago my daughter whom I used to have that kind of Mom daughter best friend relationship with and then one night out of the blue, without reason and I do mean out of left field she began verbally attacking me. her younger brother ( age 22) and younger sister ( age 20) were right there in the room, she started going off about me abusing them over and over... at first specifically about me abusing and even terrorizing her, then me abusing her brother, one thing that stuck out and made me realize something was amiss is that she claimed one really bad/violent incident took place in a certain time frame and at a certain address, that I was unloading the dishwasher and suddenly turned on my then 12 yr old son blaming him for the dishwasher not working correctly that I started slamming his head into the floor, began kicking him in the head over and over, then dragged him by his hair all over house screaming and attacking repeatedly... first off my son can and has told her that this NEVER happened, secondly, we never had a dishwasher at this address or any other one until the kids were nearly grown... however just before her epilepsy diagnosis and a series of grand mal seizures started happening, I KNOW she honestly has these memories and truly believes that these things happened and it is distressing to her to say the least, she has memories that are in such clear and vivid detail... I was a volunteer for safe haven and other child abuse victims agencies and advocacies as well as domestic violence centers and a guardian ad litem and my home was an emergency shelter for children who were removed from abusive parents, this is a cause that has always been near and dear to my heart, several of her false memories of me abusing her are very closely related to children who came to my home for emergency shelter, very real stories several of her false memories of me abusing my daughter are so closely related to stories of what happened to some of these other children, especially the one of me abusing my son, the details are that of a 13 yr old girl who was brought to me for temporary shelter and who happened to be a classmate and friend of my daughters... so her memory of a parents actions are correct but the victim and the abuser are different people than what she remembered and it is important to know that the specific times that she says these incidents took place ... well there was actually things going on, the night she says that I hit her in the head with an ornamental glass fish, we were packing to move, my son dropped a box containing most of my fragile knic knacs and most were broken,there were 3 fish knic knacs, that survived, one of them had a small chip in it but the largest of these three fish was about an inch in length and while one of them had a litle light blue on it was so far from the color of blue she described and was not glass, however I did have two matching dark blue square glass vases broken in that incident, in her mind she doesnt remember those fish, does not remember those vases, she combined these items and out of got the big glass dark blue fish and with that one night out of the blue accused me of taking a large dark blue glass figurine ( her description was that this thing was a foot or more in length) and in her mind I took this thing smashed it against her head, knocked her to the floor, picked her up and punched her in her face over thirty times....she also believes I let other people be cruel, terrorize her and abuse her...again first and foremost, it never happened, number two she is very specific about the day it happened, a day where she was grounded for a specific behavior, the people that she claims were there was pretty accurate except she added a couple of others to the supposed audience of onlookers....and also added that one of these people also took part in the abuse on her.... and finally we / I have never owned a knic knac that was a blue glass fish a foot long or any other size.... my daughter, prior to it being known she had been having seizures, looked at me without malice and told me she remembered everything in very clear detail and you could tell she was being honest and told me it was ok that she forgave me... even though others including her brother and sister have told her repeatedly that it NEVER EVER happened. now with an abundance of terrific seizures happening over and over as of late... other false memories are new ones are being made, usually following every seizure or just about, she now knows that these memories are not real.... she has made memories of silly laughable things not just horrific things, memories of things that are funny incidences with her wonderful, truly awesome boyfriend, another thing that really goes hand and hand with this is loss of memories... big event and small, buying plants, to an entire week or more of her life... I seriously wish i could take the pain from my daughter as she realizes that she has falsely accused her mother of horrible acts , but as her mother... as A mother, nothing she could ever do , intentionally or unintentionally will ever make me leave her side, never keep me from supporting her....and I want you to know something, this anomaly of seizure patients, epilepsy patients having false memories of being abused my a parent happens more than would think... I fully believe that the brain sends the conscious mind into a dream state during these seizures to protect it from the harsh reality and trauma of the seizure itself....then stores that dream as a memory.... she has false memories of both good and bad times... I hate that she has these memories but is losing memories that are truly hers, because she has a beautiful four yr old daughter and I pray everyday that she never loses any memories of this childs life... the brain is a wonderous and yet funny thing, a biological computer, self manipulating, self analyzing, self protecting... I dont know that we will ever understand it fully, Epilepsy to me is like when your computer gets some crazy virus that makes the computer act crazy and do weird things... and I hate hate hate it.... it is the most unfair, cruel disease and it just repeats itself over and over.... we need to understand this disease and fight to change how it is treated and look for a cure before it robs another single day, night or memory for our loved ones who suffer from it... I hope knowing that you are not alone in this helps even a little.... P.S. Let me also add that when my daughter was 16 her nose got broken, she was not at home when this happened but was with high school friends and was at one of her classmates ( and life long friends as my kids grew up in a town the size of Mayberry ) My daughter was sitting on the couch beside one of the very large football players from their high school team, my daughter was lowering herself into a sitting position on the couch when the VERY LARGE football player was trying to stand up, with his arm bent out to his side that she was on, my daughter is very petite, he stood up very fast, came up into her nose and broke it REALLY BAD, she had to have surgery several months down the road to re-align her tiny nose....( doctor waited months because didnt do any surgery like this until ALL the swelling was gone and no matter what her nose just kept getting bumped, all the time, I mean it sort of became a joke in our family that she kept bumping it because she secretly liked it crooked.... these days she doesnt remember her nose getting broken that way...even though there were over ten witnteses to this happening.... she remembers very clearly that me and a friend of mine beat and terrorized her and that I punched her repeatedly in the face and broke her nose....I had a house full of people, both family and friends when my daughter came home that night with a broken nose... these false memories of hers are always the far end opposite of what the people she is remembering doing are even truly like, for instance, her boyfriend is a heating and air contractor whose first love is guiatr/music and he is an up and coming rock star.. he is a real man's type man... after a recent seizure she remembers him having a conversation with her about his first love and dream in this word was to be a hair stylist and that he went to school for it but didnt like his fellow students so he quit and found another calling..... this is so not true, but the very utmost far extreme of whom her boyfriend is....even so, she can tell you what the weather was like the day they had this conversation, what their plans were for that evening and what her little girl was playing with while she was having this conversation with her boyfriend, even tell you that she was cooking dinner at the time and what the food cooking smelled like... again the brain is a biological computer that NO ONE fully understands yet, think of it like this, electrical wiring run wrong, could cause you to be able to flip a bathroom light switch and your porch light come on.....a virus in your computer could make your computer go to a certain website over and over no matter what youa re typing into your browser.... again I hope this helps at least one person out there !!!