As I sit here this morning, looking outside, I thought it would be nice to take a walk in the woods with my dogs. Other days I remember my life as a truck driver. I keep myself pretty busy, but the knowledge of what Epilepsy and seizures have taken away from my life has been hard. My driving career is over along with driving my personal car. My independence is gone.The depression that had left me a mess before I was diagnosed, drove people away from me, and people said I was completely different person. I stopped taking my medications regularly, thinking they were the cause of my problems. The first set of seizures left me in bad shape, I was unconscious for a day and upon waking had no idea where or who I was, or what had happened. I spent 6 days in the icu. My wife was there for me, and we are so close we are almost the same person. Over the six days doctors came and went, new medications and a conference to talk about what had happened, I still denied that anything was wrong. I finally came to grips with what had happened an my memory came back. Going home was nice and over the first month I thought I was ok with it. I had another very bad seizure that left me in the icu again, without the coordination to walk properly, this got better over five days but I needed to go to a nursing home for therapy. After going home my wife and I had a meeting with my neurologist. My medications are being finetuned. I'm having a hard time reconciling what I am now. With the winter coming on, the things I did outside to occupy myself are over. My question for all of you is how have you learned to cope? Working is out of the question and I fear having another seizure away from home. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.